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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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obviously_damned

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obviously_damned
  • Town/Country : Surrey, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 7 June 1984 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 630
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About obviously_damned : Young, fun, and very Unlucky.

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obviously_damned's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating M&Ms on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (45754) - you deserved it (10322)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I decided to check out my school's quarterback's Twitter since we have a class together. He wrote one day "Dear girl in front of me, I thought you were pretty until you turned around." It was funny until I realized the date/time was when we have class together and i sit in front of him. FML

#5186777 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (27920) - you deserved it (2781)

On 09/11/2009 at 1:05pm - misc - by thatgirl247 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, when we were at wrestling practice, we had to bend over to stretch. When I bent down, I noticed a car on the street stopped. There was a sixty year old man watching us. He then licked his lips and drove away. FML

#5001018 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (31935) - you deserved it (2698)

On 09/02/2009 at 4:07pm - work - by iceman123432 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML

#4998689 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (38542) - you deserved it (11325)

On 09/02/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I took my girlfriend to the movies. She's pretty conservative and I decided after four dates to give her her first ever kiss. As I leaned in she violently sneezed and hit me in the nose with the hand she brought up to cover her face. I broke my nose and got blood down her cleavage. FML

#4962487 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (39003) - you deserved it (2871)

On 08/31/2009 at 9:12pm - love - by SaMike (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, my boyfriend and I were starting to get in the mood. I get on top of him, lean down to kiss him, and he begins to laugh. Puzzled, I ask him why. He tells me that when I'm naked and on top of him, I remind him of a cow, with 'udders' . Offended, I go to get off. 'No no' he protests, 'a SEXY cow'. FML

#4936228 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (24425) - you deserved it (3265)

On 08/30/2009 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by sigh (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I realized I can hold a pencil in my fat rolls. FML

#4923649 (211)

I agree, your life sucks (12457) - you deserved it (43108)

On 08/30/2009 at 3:12am - health - by tomchuq (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I told my boyfriend that my fantasy was for him to eat me out on the dinner table. My boyfriend told me his was me in a Pikachu costume. FML

#4921754 (259)

I agree, your life sucks (35211) - you deserved it (6237)

On 08/30/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by pokie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 5-year-old daughter saw a pad commercial. She asked me what they were, but I didn't think she was old enough to hear it. I just told her that they're like diapers for mommies. Now she won't stop telling people that mommy wears diapers. FML

#4833431 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (10092) - you deserved it (30072)

On 08/26/2009 at 10:17am - misc - by diapermommy (woman) - United States

Today, I got my first tattoo. It's a large broadsword which runs the length of my spine. I went home to show it off and learned that the hilt on my neck looks just like a penis when the rest of it is covered with my shirt. FML

#4803927 (203)

I agree, your life sucks (10542) - you deserved it (43360)

On 08/25/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by damnit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML

#4799049 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (26554) - you deserved it (4173)

On 08/24/2009 at 11:34pm - love - by isoheartcaitlin (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a new cell phone. I was texting pictures from my old phone to my new one, including several dirty ones, when I noticed I wasn't receiving any of them on the new phone. I was texting the wrong number. FML

#4792669 (118)

I agree, your life sucks (8063) - you deserved it (39868)

On 08/24/2009 at 7:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got my first period. My dad bought me a card and had everyone in my family sign it. FML

#4787214 (308)

I agree, your life sucks (42069) - you deserved it (2979)

On 08/24/2009 at 3:59pm - misc - by embarassed_chick (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML

#4774065 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (16458) - you deserved it (27809)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I needed new business cards so I went to design and print some. After I designed, I was happy with them and printed off 100 copies. I live at a place called Canal Rocks. I forgot the 'C'. I now have 76 business cards which say 'anal rocks.' I already distributed 24. FML

#4678208 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (11690) - you deserved it (31167)

On 08/20/2009 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)