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obsolol's favorite FMLs
Today, my girlfriend came home and announced that she'd just bought a $40 pair of flipflops. She then declared that I wouldn't be getting a birthday gift this year due to budget shortfalls. For hers a month prior, I'd got her a $300 piece of jewelry. FML
by flyakite29 / 07/20/2009 at 12:36pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by wetboy / 07/05/2009 at 6:07am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML
by badluckdrew / 05/01/2009 at 10:28am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, I was walking in the park when I heard some boys shouting behind me. As I turned around they poured a bucket of red liquid over my head. They thought I was someone they knew. I wasn't. And i was wearing a $200 white dress. Red dye doesn't come out of white dresses. FML
by anon / 04/21/2009 at 4:32am / United Kingdom (Barking and Dagenham) / Miscellaneous
by Picaresque / 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by Vince / 02/21/2009 at 8:15pm / United States (Indiana) / Health
Today, I was jerking one off and my cat jumped out of nowhere and dug his claws into my shaft. Attempting to knock him away resulted in three nasty gashes... that I now have to explain to my wife. FML
by stanDman / 01/19/2009 at 1:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…