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You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.
Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML
I agree, your life sucks (53688) - you deserved it (7634)
On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18915) - you deserved it (35587)
On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by think i'm dating perdix (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, my loyalty and regularity at my local pizza place were noticed. The delivery guy, when bringing yet another order, asked me if the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were living with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21407) - you deserved it (7523) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/31/2013 at 7:26am - misc - by heallven - Sent from mobile version
Today, at the age of 57, my dad got a unicorn tattooed on his shoulder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15922) - you deserved it (2687) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 10/17/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous - France (Bretagne)
Today, I was cashiering, and a customer's change came to $5.51. She looked pretty stinking rich, so I just gave her $5.50. She demanded the extra penny, and I asked if she really needed it. She said, "No, but they do, asshole," and dropped her $5.51 in the charity donation box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5792) - you deserved it (75912)
On 06/13/2012 at 12:00pm - money - by ouch - United States (Florida)
Today, while at Six Flags my boyfriend won a huge stuffed animal for me. After a whole day of carrying it around, when he dropped me off he told me that he wants the stuffed animal back. He just didn't want to carry it around all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27411) - you deserved it (2349)
On 10/10/2011 at 9:56am - misc - by Username - United States (Texas)
Today, I was brutally run over by a man in a wheelchair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18451) - you deserved it (2555)
On 09/16/2011 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23755) - you deserved it (4118)
On 01/31/2011 at 10:47am - intimacy - by Username -
Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9252) - you deserved it (63969)
On 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I nervously introduced my mother to my new boyfriend. I had to sit and watch her flirt with him for an hour. When I took her in the other room and confronted her about it, she said, "Don't you dare ruin this for me!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (33052) - you deserved it (2115)
On 09/28/2010 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)
Today, I was in my hotel room. I picked up an expensive wine from the mini fridge, just to see what it is. I heard a mechanical "bling". I was charged for it. Then, I tried to put it back, only to hear another "bling". I was charged twice for expensive wine that I won't even drink. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18609) - you deserved it (7485)
On 09/26/2010 at 7:29am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Turkey (Istanbul)
Today, while trying to give an immunization to a "special" 13-year-old, I got spit on, kicked, almost bitten, and had a chair thrown at me. When it was all over, I flinched when the patient tried to hug me. Her mom called me a "b*tch" and I later found out he wasn't a "special" child. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26683) - you deserved it (2358)
On 08/27/2010 at 2:49am - work - by atetoeate (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years saw baby wipes in my bathroom and assumed I had a kid. He broke up with me. I use baby wipes to take off my makeup. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25532) - you deserved it (2348)
On 02/07/2010 at 12:41pm - love - by notababymama (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I finally filed the divorce papers I was putting off for weeks. This is my third divorce. After my first husband cheated on me, and my second husband and I learned we had VERY different views, now my third husband is cheating on me with his fiancée. I'm a marriage counselor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27623) - you deserved it (7553)
On 11/12/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by akward411 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30730) - you deserved it (71482)
On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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