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oathkeeper99

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oathkeeper99

41Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 February 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5715
  • Number of comments : 85
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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oathkeeper99's page activity

Visits<b>Attacksloth</b> - 23 hours ago<b>ekimen</b> - yesterday at 1:47pm<b>Cort_Wright</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 11:50am<b>blakeedwards15</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:48am<b>Justified12</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 3:32pm<b>Mons</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 11:40am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 8:53pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 3:26pm<b>SweetIam</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 11:02pm<b>Saber74</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 9:36am<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 5:46pm<b>Sobe_1900</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 12:37am<b>Necropool</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 12:48am<b>Soninuva</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 6:05pm<b>brookb73</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 11:23pm<b>91hayek</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 10:33pm<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 2:47pm<b>myexactname</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 9:23am

Fucked!<b>jacky75</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 9:26pm<b>Saber74</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 3:36pm<b>Evil20071</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 7:55pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 4:36pm<b>liquifiednate</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 3:36am<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 3:35am<b>tranced_</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 2:48am<b>Justified12</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 6:23am<b>rafa015</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 4:15am<b>ekimen</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 10:12am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 11:54pm<b>dudeguy1989</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 5:12pm<b>meggsann10</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 3:50pm<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 2:41pm<b>HairyPunisher</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 12:19pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 12:04pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 12:00pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 8:58pm

oathkeeper99's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of oathkeeper99's badges

oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today, before a big client pitch I went into their office bathroom to quickly slick down my hair. It had two identical automatic faucets, one for water and one for hand soap. Now my hair is full of soap, and smells like industrial strength lavender. FML

#13548383
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8522) - you deserved it (27132)

On 10/22/2010 at 9:26am - work - by soapypete (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got fined when my fat dog decided to walk across a private film set to get at the catering area. FML

#13433237
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20747) - you deserved it (9176)

On 10/13/2010 at 11:28am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I got fined when my fat dog decided to walk across a private film set to get at the catering area. FML

#13433237
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20747) - you deserved it (9176)

On 10/13/2010 at 11:28am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I was working with some shelter puppies transporting them to the vet's. I got all of the puppies in but one, and when I went to pull him out, I realized he had gotten car sick. Before I could stop it happening, he wagged his vomit-covered tail and hit me in the face. FML

#13123963
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21843) - you deserved it (2676)

On 09/20/2010 at 2:13am - work - by sandra - United States

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

#13026235
418 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31873) - you deserved it (28448)

On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my daughter asked for a dollar to buy ice cream from the ice cream truck while I was on my computer working. Out of my wallet she took a fifty dollar bill. The ice cream man got a big tip before driving off. FML

#12935900
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26664) - you deserved it (14794)

On 09/06/2010 at 4:26pm - kids - by BrokebyKids - United States (New York)

Today, I finally decided to do regular biology rather than honors biology, thinking honors would be too hard. My first day in regular biology, my lab partner asked me whether a rock was alive or not. FML

Today, my Mom felt the need to walk around school and tell everyone to be nice to me because I just started my period. FML

#12616520
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56246) - you deserved it (3695)

On 08/19/2010 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Jordid - United States (Colorado)

Today, my brother's girlfriend and my girlfriend went out shopping. My brother's girlfriend bought a pair of killer black heels and a box of condoms. My girlfriend bought a pair of orange Crocs and a vibrator. FML

#12408550
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42268) - you deserved it (13640)

On 08/09/2010 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Mikey832 (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was helping a friend move. Before we arrived, he put his key on my key ring to keep it safe. When we got there, he promptly shoved my front door key into the lock and snapped it clean off. Not only can we not get into his house, but now I can't get back into mine. FML

#12107955
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28208) - you deserved it (3741)

On 07/25/2010 at 6:47pm - misc - by Luke (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my boyfriend bought a pogo stick. Now he rides it more than he rides me. FML

#11817765
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33842) - you deserved it (10006)

On 07/11/2010 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by RachelVanLannen9 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML

#10652042
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35448) - you deserved it (6943)

On 05/20/2010 at 5:32pm - misc - by fml - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my mom bought me some expensive Japanese candy. I opened it, and saw that each chewy candy was wrapped in a thin, hard to peel off wrapper. After trying to get each wrapper off, I determined they were unopen-able and threw them away. I then read the box, saying the wrappers were edible. FML

#10645827
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6598) - you deserved it (50032)

On 05/20/2010 at 8:37am - misc - by Candy - United States (Maryland)

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

#9416886
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49152) - you deserved it (9628)

On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)



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