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oathkeeper99

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oathkeeper99

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 February 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3742
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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oathkeeper99's page activity

Visits<b>the_rude_dude</b> - 17 hours ago<b>powerkeep</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 11:00am<b>Sandipboka</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 12:38pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 10:36pm<b>totallylosing</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 12:55pm<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 3:30pm<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 6:13pm<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 1:27am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 9:02pm<b>The_Shrimp52</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 3:58am<b>TJJOE</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 2:50am<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 9:58pm<b>brndnmcmillan</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 9:49pm<b>Tendou</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 2:38am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 9:13am<b>whatsittoyabitch</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 5:17pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 4:36pm<b>HopelesslyCiara5</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 9:48pm

Liked!<b>S232Flash</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 3:02am<b>robertd73</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 6:55am<b>Shakazulu1216</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 1:21am

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oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to the face of Billy, the puppet from Saw, staring down at me. I was so scared, I wet myself instantly. It was my cousin in a mask, who is staying over for Thanksgiving weekend. FML

#13978188
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25663) - you deserved it (5612)

On 11/25/2010 at 7:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, whilst driving to the store, an idiot driver found it to be okay to drive ridiculously fast in below freezing temperatures on the ice and snow. As he passed my car, I angrily gave him the finger. And then I realized I was wearing mittens. FML

Today, whilst driving to the store, an idiot driver found it to be okay to drive ridiculously fast in below freezing temperatures on the ice and snow. As he passed my car, I angrily gave him the finger. And then I realized I was wearing mittens. FML

Today, I was at a pet store cuddling an apparently overaggressive chinchilla when it decided to bite me and run out of my hands. It is now nowhere to be found and I have to pay for it. FML

#13886609
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21046) - you deserved it (9042)

On 11/18/2010 at 10:34am - misc - by alltimelove -

Today, my boyfriend asked me to meet his parents over Christmas. I was ecstatic. But there was one condition: I must go dressed as a girl since he hasn't worked up the nerve to come out to his parents yet. We've been dating for over a year. FML

#13876675
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40205) - you deserved it (12324)

On 11/17/2010 at 1:16pm - love - by neverdateaclosetcase (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me a magic trick. He filled a bowl with wine, pushed it on top of the ceiling using a broom stick, and held it up there. He told me to hold it and left. Taking my hands off the broomstick would cause the bowl to fall on my expensive new suit. Eventually, it did. FML

#13851970
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25679) - you deserved it (11007)

On 11/15/2010 at 10:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was mad at my mother. Why? We went to parent-teacher interviews, and she told my math teacher that she should allow bathroom breaks because I have a "very heavy menstrual flow." My teacher suggested I eat more red meat. They got into a seven-minute argument about this. FML

#13746005
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30362) - you deserved it (2372)

On 11/07/2010 at 12:04am - health - by noname (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend in the dark, he grabbed onto a fat roll and asked, "Is this your stomach or boob?" I didn't have the heart to tell him it was a back roll. FML

#13741680
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21127) - you deserved it (23623)

On 11/06/2010 at 6:37pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my friend and I dressed up as dice for Halloween. The rest of the night consisted of us, harassed by drunks asking, 'Can we roll you around?' and constantly being shaken. FML

#13648251
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9546) - you deserved it (28431)

On 10/30/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I decided to let in my new German Shepherd puppy inside to show the guest how adorable he is. In the middle of our conversation, he came running up to us with my vibrator in his mouth. FML

#13611565
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24073) - you deserved it (13175)

On 10/27/2010 at 3:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, before a big client pitch I went into their office bathroom to quickly slick down my hair. It had two identical automatic faucets, one for water and one for hand soap. Now my hair is full of soap, and smells like industrial strength lavender. FML

#13548383
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8469) - you deserved it (27058)

On 10/22/2010 at 9:26am - work - by soapypete (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got fined when my fat dog decided to walk across a private film set to get at the catering area. FML

#13433237
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20631) - you deserved it (9155)

On 10/13/2010 at 11:28am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I got fined when my fat dog decided to walk across a private film set to get at the catering area. FML

#13433237
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20631) - you deserved it (9155)

On 10/13/2010 at 11:28am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I was working with some shelter puppies transporting them to the vet's. I got all of the puppies in but one, and when I went to pull him out, I realized he had gotten car sick. Before I could stop it happening, he wagged his vomit-covered tail and hit me in the face. FML

#13123963
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21711) - you deserved it (2668)

On 09/20/2010 at 2:13am - work - by sandra - United States

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

#13026235
417 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31698) - you deserved it (28394)

On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version



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