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oathkeeper99

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oathkeeper99

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2833
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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oathkeeper99's page activity

Visits<b>slombre</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 2:16pm<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 1:43am<b>BasedJesus666</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 12:52am<b>rissarea</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 12:40am<b>lenardMcCravits</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 9:59pm<b>FrenchieJoking</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 8:45pm<b>feven</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 7:33pm<b>jessica7725</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 5:13pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 6:18pm<b>firefighterbee</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 1:51am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 8:10pm<b>wigginz</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 3:51pm<b>Ausdank</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 2:14pm<b>superwoman24357</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 2:11pm<b>AliceJen</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:34pm<b>adam_8181</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 12:05am<b>markusmay16</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 10:50pm<b>KRAZYKILLAKLOWN</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 10:49pm

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oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today, I was mad at my mother. Why? We went to parent-teacher interviews, and she told my math teacher that she should allow bathroom breaks because I have a "very heavy menstrual flow." My teacher suggested I eat more red meat. They got into a seven-minute argument about this. FML

#13746005
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30236) - you deserved it (2366)

On 11/07/2010 at 12:04am - health - by noname (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend in the dark, he grabbed onto a fat roll and asked, "Is this your stomach or boob?" I didn't have the heart to tell him it was a back roll. FML

#13741680
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20498) - you deserved it (23006)

On 11/06/2010 at 6:37pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my friend and I dressed up as dice for Halloween. The rest of the night consisted of us, harassed by drunks asking, 'Can we roll you around?' and constantly being shaken. FML

#13648251
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9496) - you deserved it (28327)

On 10/30/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I decided to let in my new German Shepherd puppy inside to show the guest how adorable he is. In the middle of our conversation, he came running up to us with my vibrator in his mouth. FML

#13611565
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23965) - you deserved it (13156)

On 10/27/2010 at 3:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, before a big client pitch I went into their office bathroom to quickly slick down my hair. It had two identical automatic faucets, one for water and one for hand soap. Now my hair is full of soap, and smells like industrial strength lavender. FML

#13548383
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8122) - you deserved it (26212)

On 10/22/2010 at 9:26am - work - by soapypete (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got fined when my fat dog decided to walk across a private film set to get at the catering area. FML

#13433237
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19941) - you deserved it (9003)

On 10/13/2010 at 11:28am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I got fined when my fat dog decided to walk across a private film set to get at the catering area. FML

#13433237
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19941) - you deserved it (9003)

On 10/13/2010 at 11:28am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I was working with some shelter puppies transporting them to the vet's. I got all of the puppies in but one, and when I went to pull him out, I realized he had gotten car sick. Before I could stop it happening, he wagged his vomit-covered tail and hit me in the face. FML

#13123963
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21611) - you deserved it (2658)

On 09/20/2010 at 2:13am - work - by sandra - United States

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

#13026235
416 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31048) - you deserved it (28072)

On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my daughter asked for a dollar to buy ice cream from the ice cream truck while I was on my computer working. Out of my wallet she took a fifty dollar bill. The ice cream man got a big tip before driving off. FML

#12935900
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25789) - you deserved it (14498)

On 09/06/2010 at 4:26pm - kids - by BrokebyKids - United States (New York)

Today, I finally decided to do regular biology rather than honors biology, thinking honors would be too hard. My first day in regular biology, my lab partner asked me whether a rock was alive or not. FML

Today, my Mom felt the need to walk around school and tell everyone to be nice to me because I just started my period. FML

#12616520
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55941) - you deserved it (3681)

On 08/19/2010 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Jordid - United States (Colorado)

Today, my brother's girlfriend and my girlfriend went out shopping. My brother's girlfriend bought a pair of killer black heels and a box of condoms. My girlfriend bought a pair of orange Crocs and a vibrator. FML

#12408550
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40715) - you deserved it (13279)

On 08/09/2010 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Mikey832 (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was helping a friend move. Before we arrived, he put his key on my key ring to keep it safe. When we got there, he promptly shoved my front door key into the lock and snapped it clean off. Not only can we not get into his house, but now I can't get back into mine. FML

#12107955
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26414) - you deserved it (3564)

On 07/25/2010 at 6:47pm - misc - by Luke (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my boyfriend bought a pogo stick. Now he rides it more than he rides me. FML

#11817765
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31615) - you deserved it (9659)

On 07/11/2010 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by RachelVanLannen9 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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