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oathkeeper99

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oathkeeper99

34Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 February 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5412
  • Number of comments : 80
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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oathkeeper99's page activity

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oathkeeper99's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of oathkeeper99's badges

oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

#16248002
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11353) - you deserved it (63584)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

#16248002
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11353) - you deserved it (63584)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -

Today, I realized my mom cares more about Kurt's bullying problem on Glee than she does for mine. FML

#16162317
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41148) - you deserved it (3823)

On 05/13/2011 at 8:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I wore a Super Mario Brothers T-shirt to school that showed a picture of Mario with a mushroom above his head. I got suspended for "referencing illegal drugs". FML

#16125377
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45083) - you deserved it (4695)

On 05/11/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Sola -

Today, it's my birthday, and my present is that my mom is coming over to see me so that she can borrow three hundred dollars. FML

#16062957
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33503) - you deserved it (3086)

On 05/05/2011 at 11:41pm - money - by MrFerret -

Today, I was trying to convince a friend that even though I'm blonde, I'm not the oblivious or stupid moron everyone apparently thinks I am. Then I smacked face-first into a glass door. FML

#16057186
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25299) - you deserved it (28619)

On 05/05/2011 at 4:01pm - misc - by Blondie (woman) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

#15617038
352 comments

I agree, your life sucks (109802) - you deserved it (7725)

On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38496) - you deserved it (32100)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38496) - you deserved it (32100)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38496) - you deserved it (32100)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML

#15287588
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11697) - you deserved it (37412)

On 03/12/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was leaving him because he's cheating on me. He then told me he will die without me. When I said that I didn't care, he said 'OK. I'll kill myself!' and then held his breath in attempt to suffocate himself. I can't believe I dated this idiot. FML

#15161095
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49965) - you deserved it (14116)

On 03/01/2011 at 8:24am - intimacy - by WhyMe? -

Today, I took a picture of myself and put it on Facebook. After I did so, I realized that in the background, you can see my crush's Facebook page up on my laptop. He tagged himself. FML

#15105515
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16336) - you deserved it (47805)

On 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by verasam01 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at my strictly Catholic grandmother's funeral, I was made to sit in the row behind the rest of the family, because I was born out of wedlock and wasn't a 'real' member. FML

#15055415
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38846) - you deserved it (2504)

On 02/20/2011 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, at my strictly Catholic grandmother's funeral, I was made to sit in the row behind the rest of the family, because I was born out of wedlock and wasn't a 'real' member. FML

#15055415
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38846) - you deserved it (2504)

On 02/20/2011 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom



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