Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

oathkeeper99

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

oathkeeper99

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3010
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

oathkeeper99's page activity

Visits<b>slombre</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 2:16pm<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 1:43am<b>BasedJesus666</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 12:52am<b>rissarea</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 12:40am<b>lenardMcCravits</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 9:59pm<b>FrenchieJoking</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 8:45pm<b>feven</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 7:33pm<b>jessica7725</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 5:13pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 6:18pm<b>firefighterbee</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 1:51am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 8:10pm<b>wigginz</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 3:51pm<b>Ausdank</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 2:14pm<b>superwoman24357</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 2:11pm<b>AliceJen</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:34pm<b>adam_8181</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 12:05am<b>markusmay16</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 10:50pm<b>KRAZYKILLAKLOWN</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 10:49pm

oathkeeper99's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of oathkeeper99's badges

oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today, it's my birthday, and my present is that my mom is coming over to see me so that she can borrow three hundred dollars. FML

#16062957
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32317) - you deserved it (2980)

On 05/05/2011 at 11:41pm - money - by MrFerret -

Today, I was trying to convince a friend that even though I'm blonde, I'm not the oblivious or stupid moron everyone apparently thinks I am. Then I smacked face-first into a glass door. FML

#16057186
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24323) - you deserved it (27646)

On 05/05/2011 at 4:01pm - misc - by Blondie (woman) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

#15617038
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (106154) - you deserved it (7465)

On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37126) - you deserved it (31475)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37126) - you deserved it (31475)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37126) - you deserved it (31475)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML

#15287588
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11357) - you deserved it (36747)

On 03/12/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was leaving him because he's cheating on me. He then told me he will die without me. When I said that I didn't care, he said 'OK. I'll kill myself!' and then held his breath in attempt to suffocate himself. I can't believe I dated this idiot. FML

#15161095
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47884) - you deserved it (13773)

On 03/01/2011 at 8:24am - intimacy - by WhyMe? -

Today, I took a picture of myself and put it on Facebook. After I did so, I realized that in the background, you can see my crush's Facebook page up on my laptop. He tagged himself. FML

#15105515
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16275) - you deserved it (46286)

On 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by verasam01 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at my strictly Catholic grandmother's funeral, I was made to sit in the row behind the rest of the family, because I was born out of wedlock and wasn't a 'real' member. FML

#15055415
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38620) - you deserved it (2494)

On 02/20/2011 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, at my strictly Catholic grandmother's funeral, I was made to sit in the row behind the rest of the family, because I was born out of wedlock and wasn't a 'real' member. FML

#15055415
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38620) - you deserved it (2494)

On 02/20/2011 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, at my strictly Catholic grandmother's funeral, I was made to sit in the row behind the rest of the family, because I was born out of wedlock and wasn't a 'real' member. FML

#15055415
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38620) - you deserved it (2494)

On 02/20/2011 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML

#14644616
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33884) - you deserved it (7629)

On 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML

#14090266
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5540) - you deserved it (59128)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up to the face of Billy, the puppet from Saw, staring down at me. I was so scared, I wet myself instantly. It was my cousin in a mask, who is staying over for Thanksgiving weekend. FML

#13978188
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24725) - you deserved it (5505)

On 11/25/2010 at 7:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: