Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

oathkeeper99

Online | Search for a member

oathkeeper99

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 February 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3772
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

oathkeeper99's page activity

Visits<b>QuinnIsBoss</b> - 19 minutes ago<b>the_rude_dude</b> - yesterday at 6:24pm<b>powerkeep</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 11:00am<b>Sandipboka</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 12:38pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 10:36pm<b>totallylosing</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 12:55pm<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 3:30pm<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 6:13pm<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 1:27am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 9:02pm<b>The_Shrimp52</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 3:58am<b>TJJOE</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 2:50am<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 9:58pm<b>brndnmcmillan</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 9:49pm<b>Tendou</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 2:38am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 9:13am<b>whatsittoyabitch</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 5:17pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 4:36pm

Liked!<b>S232Flash</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 3:02am<b>robertd73</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 6:55am<b>Shakazulu1216</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 1:21am

oathkeeper99's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of oathkeeper99's badges

oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today, I wore a Super Mario Brothers T-shirt to school that showed a picture of Mario with a mushroom above his head. I got suspended for "referencing illegal drugs". FML

#16125377
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44974) - you deserved it (4690)

On 05/11/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Sola -

Today, it's my birthday, and my present is that my mom is coming over to see me so that she can borrow three hundred dollars. FML

#16062957
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33399) - you deserved it (3076)

On 05/05/2011 at 11:41pm - money - by MrFerret -

Today, I was trying to convince a friend that even though I'm blonde, I'm not the oblivious or stupid moron everyone apparently thinks I am. Then I smacked face-first into a glass door. FML

#16057186
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24779) - you deserved it (28074)

On 05/05/2011 at 4:01pm - misc - by Blondie (woman) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

#15617038
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (108054) - you deserved it (7610)

On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37237) - you deserved it (31527)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37237) - you deserved it (31527)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37237) - you deserved it (31527)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML

#15287588
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11667) - you deserved it (37341)

On 03/12/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was leaving him because he's cheating on me. He then told me he will die without me. When I said that I didn't care, he said 'OK. I'll kill myself!' and then held his breath in attempt to suffocate himself. I can't believe I dated this idiot. FML

#15161095
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47983) - you deserved it (13785)

On 03/01/2011 at 8:24am - intimacy - by WhyMe? -

Today, I took a picture of myself and put it on Facebook. After I did so, I realized that in the background, you can see my crush's Facebook page up on my laptop. He tagged himself. FML

#15105515
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16314) - you deserved it (46372)

On 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by verasam01 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at my strictly Catholic grandmother's funeral, I was made to sit in the row behind the rest of the family, because I was born out of wedlock and wasn't a 'real' member. FML

#15055415
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38724) - you deserved it (2499)

On 02/20/2011 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, at my strictly Catholic grandmother's funeral, I was made to sit in the row behind the rest of the family, because I was born out of wedlock and wasn't a 'real' member. FML

#15055415
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38724) - you deserved it (2499)

On 02/20/2011 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, at my strictly Catholic grandmother's funeral, I was made to sit in the row behind the rest of the family, because I was born out of wedlock and wasn't a 'real' member. FML

#15055415
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38724) - you deserved it (2499)

On 02/20/2011 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML

#14644616
365 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34002) - you deserved it (7634)

On 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML

#14090266
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5557) - you deserved it (59254)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: