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oathkeeper99

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oathkeeper99

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2540
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Visits<b>markusmay16</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 10:50pm<b>KRAZYKILLAKLOWN</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 10:49pm<b>Dodger_fan16</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 5:26am<b>Jaybob98</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 5:59am<b>SystemofaBlink41</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 1:16am<b>xR3cKl3sSx</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 11:06pm<b>CJWilliams1984</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 12:58pm<b>Juicenub</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 11:17am<b>WildHorses1987</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 8:34am<b>jogihoppa8343</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 2:43pm<b>MajinOP</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 7:01pm<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 11:20am<b>Welshite</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 7:18am<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 5:45am<b>coaches</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 12:04am<b>1pirelli1</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 1:13pm<b>LMxDelta38</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 8:58pm<b>Rcmpbell</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 2:50pm

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oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML

#16827191
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35143) - you deserved it (4479)

On 06/24/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Sam (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML

#16667115
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36333) - you deserved it (14156)

On 06/14/2011 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Username - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I was shopping for clothes. I thought this guy was a mannequin because he was standing perfectly still. I poked him and he screamed like a girl. FML

#16464729
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13463) - you deserved it (31795)

On 06/02/2011 at 6:05am - misc - by ohcrap - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boss scheduled a staff breakfast at a swanky new restaurant for all the hard work we've been doing. The dining area is on the roof, and the building has no elevator. I've been in a wheelchair for 11 years. When I brought this to my boss's attention, he said it wasn't his problem. FML

#16267088
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46588) - you deserved it (2861)

On 05/20/2011 at 1:59pm - work - by jayc80 (man) - Bermuda (Hamilton)

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

#16248002
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11141) - you deserved it (62940)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

#16248002
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11141) - you deserved it (62940)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -

Today, I realized my mom cares more about Kurt's bullying problem on Glee than she does for mine. FML

#16162317
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39217) - you deserved it (3681)

On 05/13/2011 at 8:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I wore a Super Mario Brothers T-shirt to school that showed a picture of Mario with a mushroom above his head. I got suspended for "referencing illegal drugs". FML

#16125377
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43594) - you deserved it (4582)

On 05/11/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Sola -

Today, it's my birthday, and my present is that my mom is coming over to see me so that she can borrow three hundred dollars. FML

#16062957
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32216) - you deserved it (2971)

On 05/05/2011 at 11:41pm - money - by MrFerret -

Today, I was trying to convince a friend that even though I'm blonde, I'm not the oblivious or stupid moron everyone apparently thinks I am. Then I smacked face-first into a glass door. FML

#16057186
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24256) - you deserved it (27612)

On 05/05/2011 at 4:01pm - misc - by Blondie (woman) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

#15617038
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105686) - you deserved it (7450)

On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36629) - you deserved it (31265)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36629) - you deserved it (31265)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36629) - you deserved it (31265)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML

#15287588
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11333) - you deserved it (36675)

On 03/12/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)



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