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oathkeeper99

Offline (yesterday at 11:42pm) | Search for a member

oathkeeper99

43Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 February 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5917
  • Number of comments : 87
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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oathkeeper99's page activity

Visits<b>drworm94</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 9:36am<b>MissEris</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 8:52pm<b>Matheo</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 3:26pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 1:00pm<b>pikon</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 10:35pm<b>91hayek</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 6:56pm<b>Confederate_1861</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 10:24pm<b>Jake42100</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 1:01am<b>SilkMudah</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 12:15am<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 2:43pm<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 1:46pm<b>ligerzero459</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 1:32pm<b>BergerL</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 11:50am<b>ENCOURAGER</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 11:49am<b>alfonze07</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 11:32am<b>Scryll</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 10:23am<b>0mysteriousman0</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 9:38am<b>Cort_Wright</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 9:34pm

Fucked!<b>91hayek</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 12:56am<b>Matheo</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 10:04pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 9:26pm<b>Saber74</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 3:36pm<b>Evil20071</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 7:55pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 4:36pm<b>liquifiednate</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 3:36am<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 3:35am<b>tranced_</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 2:48am<b>Justified12</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 6:23am<b>rafa015</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 4:15am<b>ekimen</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 10:12am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 11:54pm<b>dudeguy1989</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 5:12pm<b>meggsann10</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 3:50pm<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 2:41pm<b>HairyPunisher</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 12:19pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 12:04pm

oathkeeper99's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of oathkeeper99's badges

oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today, the shy girl in my class decided to bring a cake to share with everyone, since it was her birthday. Excited about the cake, I got everybody to sing "happy birthday" for her, only to realize too late that nobody in the class know her name, myself included. FML

#17801637
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11672) - you deserved it (39731)

On 09/22/2011 at 12:44am - misc - by mortenp - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was eating some popcorn with a guy, and I noticed a piece of hair coming out my mouth. I pulled it... and pulled it... and eventually some popcorn pieces came out attached to the end of the hair. I was so embarrassed, he tried to make me feel better by saying it looked like a magic trick. FML

#17708928
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30866) - you deserved it (3975)

On 09/10/2011 at 1:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML

#17668852
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29571) - you deserved it (4386)

On 09/05/2011 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

#17628781
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32095) - you deserved it (3066)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)

Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because 'it's chicken, not salmon'. FML

#17610443
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39272) - you deserved it (3560)

On 08/29/2011 at 4:33am - health - by SoupCanoe - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

#17589386
682 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30376) - you deserved it (49437)

On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States

Today, I saw my brother's pregnant girlfriend smoking. Disgusted, I asked him why he didn't just stab her in the uterus and get it over with. He laughed like it was a joke, then cussed because he spilled his cereal. He's more concerned about spilled cereal than having a brain-damaged child. FML

#17424744
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32716) - you deserved it (9085)

On 08/10/2011 at 12:46am - health - by auntoftheyear - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I woke up to my mom washing the dishes completely naked. Sadly, I was more surprised by the fact she was doing the dishes than the fact that that she was strutting about in her birthday suit. FML

#17330120
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32137) - you deserved it (2693)

On 08/01/2011 at 8:55am - intimacy - by notsurprised (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I am sitting at home, alone, playing video games. My wedding is tomorrow afternoon. None of my bridesmaids wanted to hang out tonight. FML

#17211324
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45582) - you deserved it (4345)

On 07/22/2011 at 12:23am - love - by bridetobe (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I went to a concert with a friend of mine. When his dad came to pick him up, I walked towards the car, expecting a ride. His dad told me he didn't have time to drive me home. I'm his neighbour. FML

#17092885
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40002) - you deserved it (3954)

On 07/13/2011 at 10:48am - misc - by Evan Chong - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I shaved my beard off. Turns out the skin under my beard is six shades lighter than the rest of my face. I look completely ridiculous. FML

#17000180
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38287) - you deserved it (12951)

On 07/06/2011 at 12:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after a weekend of helping my sister-in-law move out of our house, vacuuming and mopping her bedroom and bathroom for her, scrubbing her walls and cleaning her shower, transporting her furniture and getting her carpet professionally cleaned, to cover costs she offered me $14. FML

#16871264
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29901) - you deserved it (4784)

On 06/26/2011 at 9:14pm - money - by Mad - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML

#16827191
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36784) - you deserved it (4599)

On 06/24/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Sam (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML

#16667115
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36901) - you deserved it (14296)

On 06/14/2011 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Username - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a long and heartfelt message. He responded with "tl; dr". FML

#16540181
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27262) - you deserved it (6167)

On 06/07/2011 at 12:43am - love - by Maddie110110 (woman) - United States (Texas)



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