oathkeeper99

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oathkeeper99

81Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Birmingham, United Kingdom
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 February 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9144
  • Number of comments : 123
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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oathkeeper99's page activity

Visits<b>maximus_prime</b> - yesterday at 8:43pm<b>Paris25</b> - yesterday at 3:07pm<b>minhas6096</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 8:03pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 7:40pm<b>Rainbow2Cloud</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 10:08am<b>aj9319</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 5:12pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 11:06am<b>Wane8822</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 9:09pm<b>hiddenUSERNAME</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 3:39pm<b>bigwell</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 12:28pm<b>cornyrob</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 8:34am<b>thatnakedguy</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 7:14am<b>toebee4</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 1:46pm<b>ADDiva</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 12:48am<b>pop17123</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 4:40pm<b>MrConcise</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 1:06pm<b>ninjuh_wingman</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 5:41pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 8:51pm

Fucked!<b>cornyrob</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 2:34pm<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 8:20am<b>heirofhope</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 2:30am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 8:23am<b>Neut</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 11:18pm<b>delfino1604</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 12:36am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 3:08pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 1:38pm<b>minhas6096</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 1:50am<b>yoblackgranny</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 11:14am<b>dcam13</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 7:40am<b>gshocker20</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 6:48pm<b>sandman676</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 3:34pm<b>rylaii</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 11:39pm<b>DayDay98</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 2:10pm<b>lolol123</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:49pm<b>WilliamMurderfac</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 3:17pm<b>NateC27</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 7:53am

oathkeeper99's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

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oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today, after a year and a half, I finally admitted to myself that I'm in an abusive relationship. Not with a person though, with my cat. FML

by Nicole557 / 11/03/2011 at 6:56am / United States / Animals

Today, I was called ugly and viciously ridiculed by a couple of teenage girls. They were wearing uggs and vests that made them look like a freak-show of bleached pomeranians. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2011 at 12:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

by adieuvelib / 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

by adieuvelib / 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

by adieuvelib / 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML

by Beeisc00l / 10/05/2011 at 2:58pm / Reserved / Animals

Today, at work, my boss went to the single-stall bathroom on our floor. The next thing I know, I'm on suspension pending review because some asshole left an upper-decker in the toilet. Since I'm the office prankster, all suspicion is now on me. I've been framed by my own colleagues. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2011 at 4:35pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Work

Today, the shy girl in my class decided to bring a cake to share with everyone, since it was her birthday. Excited about the cake, I got everybody to sing "happy birthday" for her, only to realize too late that nobody in the class know her name, myself included. FML

by mortenp / 09/22/2011 at 12:44am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating some popcorn with a guy, and I noticed a piece of hair coming out my mouth. I pulled it... and pulled it... and eventually some popcorn pieces came out attached to the end of the hair. I was so embarrassed, he tried to make me feel better by saying it looked like a magic trick. FML

by Anonymous / 09/10/2011 at 1:57am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML

by Anonymous / 09/05/2011 at 8:05am / Reserved / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

by piece of shed / 08/31/2011 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because 'it's chicken, not salmon'. FML

by SoupCanoe / 08/29/2011 at 4:33am / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Health

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

by f*ckingdisgusted / 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm / United States / Kids

Today, I saw my brother's pregnant girlfriend smoking. Disgusted, I asked him why he didn't just stab her in the uterus and get it over with. He laughed like it was a joke, then cussed because he spilled his cereal. He's more concerned about spilled cereal than having a brain-damaged child. FML

by auntoftheyear / 08/10/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Louisiana) / Health

Today, I woke up to my mom washing the dishes completely naked. Sadly, I was more surprised by the fact she was doing the dishes than the fact that that she was strutting about in her birthday suit. FML

by notsurprised / 08/01/2011 at 8:55am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy