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oathkeeper99

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oathkeeper99

24Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 February 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4949
  • Number of comments : 74
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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oathkeeper99's page activity

Visits<b>pait_loves_shane</b> - 20 hours ago<b>khoov19</b> - yesterday at 2:58pm<b>Pablo1321</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 11:36am<b>russfml</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 6:11am<b>RoVeR_2000</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 8:54pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 3:31pm<b>Whoop_whoop</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 11:40am<b>BakedTaters</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 11:48pm<b>Ecudaniel</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 12:29am<b>cyrus_ocelot</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 7:00am<b>drugsRfun</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 3:58am<b>PePziNL</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 9:05pm<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 2:38am<b>avatarwill5</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 11:47pm<b>MrAwesomenezz</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 11:47pm<b>dom2122</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 7:37pm<b>Wondermage</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 6:35pm<b>benjamins39</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 6:12pm

Liked!<b>khoov19</b> - 22 hours ago<b>Pablo1321</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 5:37pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 4:40pm<b>badmandilon</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 5:50am<b>bbrink</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 4:37am<b>KrisLifeSucks</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 12:33am<b>rebeltw</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 5:50am<b>GhostDuck</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 9:23pm<b>SampleSext</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 7:40pm<b>DolphinLaser23</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 12:59am<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 5:57pm<b>megaoshawott</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 11:59pm<b>saocrates</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 9:11pm<b>bakert</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 3:04am<b>FleibenHolden</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 8:28pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 10:50am<b>felixshaw</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 12:35am<b>zombiekiller52</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 11:38pm

oathkeeper99's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of oathkeeper99's badges

oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving my drunk best friend and his "new friend" back to his house. Halfway, this new friend started to give him head. FML

#18424038
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30881) - you deserved it (3491)

On 12/04/2011 at 12:35am - intimacy - by aninnocentonlooker - United States (California)

Today, I was lying on the floor playing with my cat. I was holding her in the air, when my sister tripped over the TV cord and unplugged the cable. The TV made a loud fuzzy sound, I got scared and threw my cat in the air. I got scratched in the face by a falling cat. FML

#18384593
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15017) - you deserved it (23110)

On 11/29/2011 at 11:15am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML

#18320267
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30294) - you deserved it (5274)

On 11/22/2011 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by Gabriela -

Today, I discovered that my dog is an aspiring underwear designer, her latest project being creating crotchless underwear. Mine seem to have been used as prototypes. FML

#18200720
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26254) - you deserved it (3683)

On 11/09/2011 at 9:48am - animals - by blacktyaffair - United States (Texas)

Today, I got shot at. Not by police, but by a hunter. While at work. Driving a garbage truck. How the hell a hunter mistook an orange-clad garbageman in a truck for a deer is beyond me. FML

#18188542
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30712) - you deserved it (2527)

On 11/07/2011 at 10:17pm - work - by lprocter1982 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after a year and a half, I finally admitted to myself that I'm in an abusive relationship. Not with a person though, with my cat. FML

#18145611
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24500) - you deserved it (9371)

On 11/03/2011 at 6:56am - animals - by Nicole557 (woman) - United States

Today, I was called ugly and viciously ridiculed by a couple of teenage girls. They were wearing uggs and vests that made them look like a freak-show of bleached pomeranians. FML

#18111338
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29289) - you deserved it (2789)

On 10/30/2011 at 12:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30653) - you deserved it (5195) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30653) - you deserved it (5195) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30653) - you deserved it (5195) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML

#17911621
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25425) - you deserved it (19995)

On 10/05/2011 at 2:58pm - animals - by Beeisc00l - Reserved

Today, at work, my boss went to the single-stall bathroom on our floor. The next thing I know, I'm on suspension pending review because some asshole left an upper-decker in the toilet. Since I'm the office prankster, all suspicion is now on me. I've been framed by my own colleagues. FML

#17888360
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18191) - you deserved it (12873)

On 10/02/2011 at 4:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, the shy girl in my class decided to bring a cake to share with everyone, since it was her birthday. Excited about the cake, I got everybody to sing "happy birthday" for her, only to realize too late that nobody in the class know her name, myself included. FML

#17801637
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11645) - you deserved it (39636)

On 09/22/2011 at 12:44am - misc - by mortenp - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was eating some popcorn with a guy, and I noticed a piece of hair coming out my mouth. I pulled it... and pulled it... and eventually some popcorn pieces came out attached to the end of the hair. I was so embarrassed, he tried to make me feel better by saying it looked like a magic trick. FML

#17708928
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28838) - you deserved it (3792)

On 09/10/2011 at 1:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML

#17668852
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29476) - you deserved it (4379)

On 09/05/2011 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved



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