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oathkeeper99

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oathkeeper99

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2996
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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oathkeeper99's page activity

Visits<b>slombre</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 2:16pm<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 1:43am<b>BasedJesus666</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 12:52am<b>rissarea</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 12:40am<b>lenardMcCravits</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 9:59pm<b>FrenchieJoking</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 8:45pm<b>feven</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 7:33pm<b>jessica7725</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 5:13pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 6:18pm<b>firefighterbee</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 1:51am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 8:10pm<b>wigginz</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 3:51pm<b>Ausdank</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 2:14pm<b>superwoman24357</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 2:11pm<b>AliceJen</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:34pm<b>adam_8181</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 12:05am<b>markusmay16</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 10:50pm<b>KRAZYKILLAKLOWN</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 10:49pm

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oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that my dog is an aspiring underwear designer, her latest project being creating crotchless underwear. Mine seem to have been used as prototypes. FML

#18200720
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24929) - you deserved it (3561)

On 11/09/2011 at 9:48am - animals - by blacktyaffair - United States (Texas)

Today, I got shot at. Not by police, but by a hunter. While at work. Driving a garbage truck. How the hell a hunter mistook an orange-clad garbageman in a truck for a deer is beyond me. FML

#18188542
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30550) - you deserved it (2522)

On 11/07/2011 at 10:17pm - work - by lprocter1982 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after a year and a half, I finally admitted to myself that I'm in an abusive relationship. Not with a person though, with my cat. FML

#18145611
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24346) - you deserved it (9340)

On 11/03/2011 at 6:56am - animals - by Nicole557 (woman) - United States

Today, I was called ugly and viciously ridiculed by a couple of teenage girls. They were wearing uggs and vests that made them look like a freak-show of bleached pomeranians. FML

#18111338
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28553) - you deserved it (2732)

On 10/30/2011 at 12:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30490) - you deserved it (5182) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30490) - you deserved it (5182) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30490) - you deserved it (5182) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML

#17911621
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25265) - you deserved it (19943)

On 10/05/2011 at 2:58pm - animals - by Beeisc00l - Reserved

Today, at work, my boss went to the single-stall bathroom on our floor. The next thing I know, I'm on suspension pending review because some asshole left an upper-decker in the toilet. Since I'm the office prankster, all suspicion is now on me. I've been framed by my own colleagues. FML

#17888360
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18068) - you deserved it (12803)

On 10/02/2011 at 4:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, the shy girl in my class decided to bring a cake to share with everyone, since it was her birthday. Excited about the cake, I got everybody to sing "happy birthday" for her, only to realize too late that nobody in the class know her name, myself included. FML

#17801637
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11585) - you deserved it (39476)

On 09/22/2011 at 12:44am - misc - by mortenp - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was eating some popcorn with a guy, and I noticed a piece of hair coming out my mouth. I pulled it... and pulled it... and eventually some popcorn pieces came out attached to the end of the hair. I was so embarrassed, he tried to make me feel better by saying it looked like a magic trick. FML

#17708928
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28657) - you deserved it (3783)

On 09/10/2011 at 1:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML

#17668852
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28059) - you deserved it (4236)

On 09/05/2011 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

#17628781
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31403) - you deserved it (2997)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)

Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because 'it's chicken, not salmon'. FML

#17610443
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36911) - you deserved it (3367)

On 08/29/2011 at 4:33am - health - by SoupCanoe - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

#17589386
677 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30156) - you deserved it (49155)

On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States



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