Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

oathkeeper99

Online | Search for a member

oathkeeper99

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 February 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3455
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

oathkeeper99's page activity

Visits<b>whatsittoyabitch</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 5:17pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 4:36pm<b>HopelesslyCiara5</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 9:48pm<b>origamidragon</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 9:08pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 12:27pm<b>Al3xv3l92</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 1:48am<b>farebear66</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 12:33am<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 12:18am<b>FrenchieJoking</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 8:39pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 8:14pm<b>gary3768</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 7:59pm<b>orbit</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 7:37pm<b>JosephAnders</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 6:29pm<b>Blodwast</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 4:53am<b>Xeivan</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 1:42am<b>The_Shrimp52</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 12:59am<b>sisas</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 6:41pm<b>theaaxis</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 12:46pm

Liked!<b>robertd73</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 6:55am<b>Shakazulu1216</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 1:21am

oathkeeper99's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of oathkeeper99's badges

oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today, I was holding my 3 year old brother, and apparently he thinks it's hilarious to pull my tank top down and scream ''BOOBS!'' in public. FML

#19093688
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30291) - you deserved it (4426)

On 02/16/2012 at 2:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML

#19085877
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28268) - you deserved it (2354)

On 02/15/2012 at 2:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because, I "always wear that stupid little hat." I'm Jewish. FML

#19062488
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37968) - you deserved it (9653)

On 02/13/2012 at 1:00am - love - by Kevin (man) - United States

Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML

#18892690
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29667) - you deserved it (2475)

On 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a man crashed into my car. He then got out of his car, dug a toothbrush and toothpaste out of his bag, and tried to brush away the damage. FML

#18851761
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27125) - you deserved it (1934)

On 01/19/2012 at 7:17am - misc - by toothpaste (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 9 month old son realized he is just as tired as I am. His solution is to cry loudly. My solution was to cry along with him. FML

#18631898
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29794) - you deserved it (4606)

On 12/28/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

#18605439
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17105) - you deserved it (50292)

On 12/25/2011 at 6:39am - animals - by Anonymoose (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, while waiting for my train, I was listening to a voicemail message on my phone. Out of nowhere, a stranger came up to me from behind and screamed "DELETE!" into my ear. His voice command deleted my message. FML

#18580798
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30542) - you deserved it (4070) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/22/2011 at 4:25pm - misc - by anna - France

Today, it was my first day working as a nightclub bartender. All through the evening, a really creepy bloke stood in a dark corner and leered at the girls on the dance floor. When I took the bouncer to one side to let him know, he told me the man was a coat stand. FML

#18554140
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11729) - you deserved it (29285)

On 12/19/2011 at 3:57pm - work - by Bob smith (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took my last final on a Scantron sheet with 200 multiple choice questions, with seconds to spare. When I finished the last question, I saw I had another bubble to fill in and I didn't know where I screwed up. FML

#18502808
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50367) - you deserved it (5481)

On 12/13/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by testesential - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my landlord came to my apartment because of complaints from my neighbors, saying that animals are not allowed inside. Turns out my roommate makes cat-noises when she's bored. My landlord still doesn't believe me. FML

#18501899
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26228) - you deserved it (2020)

On 12/13/2011 at 8:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Norway (Sogn og Fjordane)

Today, I went out in a storm to collect my wheelie bin, which had flown down the street. On the way back to my house, I realised my door had slammed shut and locked behind me. That's okay though, a trampoline decided to smash my window and let me in. FML

Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML

#18456086
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31467) - you deserved it (4473)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:31pm - intimacy - by journey_Jeanne - United States (California)

Today, I was driving my drunk best friend and his "new friend" back to his house. Halfway, this new friend started to give him head. FML

#18424038
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29833) - you deserved it (3381)

On 12/04/2011 at 12:35am - intimacy - by aninnocentonlooker - United States (California)

Today, I was lying on the floor playing with my cat. I was holding her in the air, when my sister tripped over the TV cord and unplugged the cable. The TV made a loud fuzzy sound, I got scared and threw my cat in the air. I got scratched in the face by a falling cat. FML

#18384593
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14971) - you deserved it (23039)

On 11/29/2011 at 11:15am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: