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oathkeeper99

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oathkeeper99

52Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Birmingham, United Kingdom
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 February 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6279
  • Number of comments : 90
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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oathkeeper99's page activity

Visits<b>karacakal2</b> - yesterday at 2:59pm<b>hantu69</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 7:30pm<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 6:36pm<b>ACTIONbl00dROCK</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 5:35am<b>dantee2005</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 2:38pm<b>Dirtyclaws40</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 7:43pm<b>thizzzwack44</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 8:27pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 6:48pm<b>BradlyJ</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 2:02pm<b>GodPart2</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 6:31pm<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 3:27pm<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 5:10am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 12:25pm<b>EvilPandaxD</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 7:46pm<b>brandonwong</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 2:18am<b>3Christielouise</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 6:46pm<b>igg125</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 7:17am<b>sophsworldxo</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 10:37pm

Fucked!<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 8:07am<b>Tander</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 2:28am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 9:43am<b>jordanrecatto</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 10:35pm<b>MrsHaxxo</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 12:10am<b>IceMan11</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 3:40am<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 4:14am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 3:06am<b>91hayek</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 12:56am<b>Matheo</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 10:04pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 9:26pm<b>Saber74</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 3:36pm<b>Evil20071</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 7:55pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 4:36pm<b>liquifiednate</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 3:36am<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 3:35am<b>tranced_</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 2:48am<b>Justified12</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 6:23am

oathkeeper99's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of oathkeeper99's badges

oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
587 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14242) - you deserved it (56251) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

#19297004
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26893) - you deserved it (4449)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)

Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML

#19263580
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35163) - you deserved it (5475)

On 03/12/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Tristansefam1367 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after finally getting my newborn baby to sleep, I made a sign to put on the door asking people not to knock or ring the bell, since our 3 dogs will bark loudly and wake the baby. When I went to print the sign, my dogs barked like crazy at the sound of the printer. FML

#19094403
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26727) - you deserved it (9379)

On 02/16/2012 at 4:42pm - kids - by TiredMom (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was holding my 3 year old brother, and apparently he thinks it's hilarious to pull my tank top down and scream ''BOOBS!'' in public. FML

#19093688
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32793) - you deserved it (4677)

On 02/16/2012 at 2:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML

#19085877
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28503) - you deserved it (2373)

On 02/15/2012 at 2:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because, I "always wear that stupid little hat." I'm Jewish. FML

#19062488
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39729) - you deserved it (9920)

On 02/13/2012 at 1:00am - love - by Kevin (man) - United States

Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML

#18892690
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32101) - you deserved it (2668)

On 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a man crashed into my car. He then got out of his car, dug a toothbrush and toothpaste out of his bag, and tried to brush away the damage. FML

#18851761
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29216) - you deserved it (2084)

On 01/19/2012 at 7:17am - misc - by toothpaste (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21592) - you deserved it (41446)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, my 9 month old son realized he is just as tired as I am. His solution is to cry loudly. My solution was to cry along with him. FML

#18631898
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31465) - you deserved it (4748)

On 12/28/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

#18605439
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17815) - you deserved it (51660)

On 12/25/2011 at 6:39am - animals - by Anonymoose (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, while waiting for my train, I was listening to a voicemail message on my phone. Out of nowhere, a stranger came up to me from behind and screamed "DELETE!" into my ear. His voice command deleted my message. FML

#18580798
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32783) - you deserved it (4287) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/22/2011 at 4:25pm - misc - by anna - France

Today, it was my first day working as a nightclub bartender. All through the evening, a really creepy bloke stood in a dark corner and leered at the girls on the dance floor. When I took the bouncer to one side to let him know, he told me the man was a coat stand. FML

#18554140
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12248) - you deserved it (30282)

On 12/19/2011 at 3:57pm - work - by Bob smith (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took my last final on a Scantron sheet with 200 multiple choice questions, with seconds to spare. When I finished the last question, I saw I had another bubble to fill in and I didn't know where I screwed up. FML

#18502808
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52791) - you deserved it (5722)

On 12/13/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by testesential - United States (Kentucky)



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