oathkeeper99

Search for a member

Online

oathkeeper99

82Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Birmingham, United Kingdom
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 February 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9499
  • Number of comments : 123
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

oathkeeper99's page activity

Visits<b>minhas6096</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 3:51am<b>AnthraxPrincess</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 8:56pm<b>moonlight77</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 9:51am<b>RubX</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 4:00am<b>jforren</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 10:22pm<b>TheDude992</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 8:00pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 8:43pm<b>Paris25</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 3:07pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 7:40pm<b>Rainbow2Cloud</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 10:08am<b>aj9319</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 5:12pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 11:06am<b>Wane8822</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 9:09pm<b>hiddenUSERNAME</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 3:39pm<b>bigwell</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 12:28pm<b>cornyrob</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 8:34am<b>thatnakedguy</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 7:14am<b>toebee4</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 1:46pm

Fucked!<b>AnthraxPrincess</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 5:11am<b>cornyrob</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 2:34pm<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 8:20am<b>heirofhope</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 2:30am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 8:23am<b>Neut</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 11:18pm<b>delfino1604</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 12:36am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 3:08pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 1:38pm<b>minhas6096</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 1:50am<b>yoblackgranny</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 11:14am<b>dcam13</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 7:40am<b>gshocker20</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 6:48pm<b>sandman676</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 3:34pm<b>rylaii</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 11:39pm<b>DayDay98</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 2:10pm<b>lolol123</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:49pm<b>WilliamMurderfac</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 3:17pm

oathkeeper99's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of oathkeeper99's badges

oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

by catdog / 01/02/2013 at 1:07am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

by Cracky / 11/27/2012 at 9:32am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML

by vanillatwilight2 / 11/20/2012 at 11:50pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I discovered my son, who has recently moved out of our home, eating his dog's food. His excuse? He wanted the new Pokemon game, and "compromises had to be made". FML

by anon / 10/18/2012 at 4:33am / Australia / Kids

Today, I've been a vegan for a year. It's also the day that I met my dad's new best friend, who happens to be a retired butcher. They tried to pull an intervention on me for not "being sensible" by eating meat. FML

by Jlhfan90 / 10/03/2012 at 11:34am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 3:00am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned I'm not allergic to gluten. My mom has kept me on a gluten free diet since I was 5. She was convinced I was allergic to it. I'm 25 and I am writing this over my first slice of pizza in 20 years. FML

by Emma / 09/04/2012 at 5:38pm / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, the man who tried to mug me sent me a friend request on Facebook. FML

by Anonymous / 08/22/2012 at 2:01am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML

by ihateveganism / 08/22/2012 at 12:19am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, my social anxiety hit a new low. I was playing bingo and, although I won, I didn't shout "bingo" because I thought too many people would look at me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 10:20am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister and I were watching the Olympics. Michael Phelps was on the screen, and I was thinking how hot he is. My sister commented on how he looks so much like our brother. I can never look at either of them the same way ever again. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 1:51am / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I had a job interview, for which I spent hours preparing. My interviewer was nothing more than a pimple-faced teen, and after only two minutes of reviewing my qualifications, he lost interest and started asking such questions as which Hogwarts house is my favorite. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2012 at 4:26pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Work

Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML

by LNamesOnly / 07/09/2012 at 3:31am / Australia / Kids

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

by Dammit / 07/07/2012 at 12:45am / United States (California) / Health

Today, as I was getting ready to go to the midnight premiere of the new Spiderman movie, I was actually bitten by a spider. He gets super powers and a hot girl, I swell up like a balloon and get to spend the night in the hospital. FML

by spiderfail / 07/03/2012 at 4:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous