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oathkeeper99

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oathkeeper99

43Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 February 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5921
  • Number of comments : 87
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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oathkeeper99's page activity

Visits<b>drworm94</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 9:36am<b>MissEris</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 8:52pm<b>Matheo</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 3:26pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 1:00pm<b>pikon</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 10:35pm<b>91hayek</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 6:56pm<b>Confederate_1861</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 10:24pm<b>Jake42100</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 1:01am<b>SilkMudah</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 12:15am<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 2:43pm<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 1:46pm<b>ligerzero459</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 1:32pm<b>BergerL</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 11:50am<b>ENCOURAGER</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 11:49am<b>alfonze07</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 11:32am<b>Scryll</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 10:23am<b>0mysteriousman0</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 9:38am<b>Cort_Wright</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 9:34pm

Fucked!<b>91hayek</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 12:56am<b>Matheo</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 10:04pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 9:26pm<b>Saber74</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 3:36pm<b>Evil20071</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 7:55pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 4:36pm<b>liquifiednate</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 3:36am<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 3:35am<b>tranced_</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 2:48am<b>Justified12</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 6:23am<b>rafa015</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 4:15am<b>ekimen</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 10:12am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 11:54pm<b>dudeguy1989</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 5:12pm<b>meggsann10</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 3:50pm<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 2:41pm<b>HairyPunisher</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 12:19pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 12:04pm

oathkeeper99's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of oathkeeper99's badges

oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today, the man who tried to mug me sent me a friend request on Facebook. FML

#20035075
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29565) - you deserved it (1731)

On 08/22/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML

#20034900
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35625) - you deserved it (8964)

On 08/22/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by ihateveganism (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my social anxiety hit a new low. I was playing bingo and, although I won, I didn't shout "bingo" because I thought too many people would look at me. FML

#20015021
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25015) - you deserved it (7835)

On 08/11/2012 at 10:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my sister and I were watching the Olympics. Michael Phelps was on the screen, and I was thinking how hot he is. My sister commented on how he looks so much like our brother. I can never look at either of them the same way ever again. FML

#19995813
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23914) - you deserved it (3694)

On 08/01/2012 at 1:51am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had a job interview, for which I spent hours preparing. My interviewer was nothing more than a pimple-faced teen, and after only two minutes of reviewing my qualifications, he lost interest and started asking such questions as which Hogwarts house is my favorite. FML

#19964470
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24313) - you deserved it (2742)

On 07/20/2012 at 4:26pm - work - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML

#19913255
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27830) - you deserved it (3776)

On 07/09/2012 at 3:31am - kids - by LNamesOnly (man) - Australia

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

#19903031
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65957) - you deserved it (5403)

On 07/07/2012 at 12:45am - health - by Dammit - United States (California)

Today, as I was getting ready to go to the midnight premiere of the new Spiderman movie, I was actually bitten by a spider. He gets super powers and a hot girl, I swell up like a balloon and get to spend the night in the hospital. FML

#19884595
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26474) - you deserved it (2098)

On 07/03/2012 at 4:03am - misc - by spiderfail - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got into a huge fight with a girl at school. My mom and dad decided to punish me by letting my three older brothers pick out my wardrobe for the next week. FML

#19812569
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23022) - you deserved it (15224)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:38pm - misc - by Shelby - United States (Illinois)

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41058) - you deserved it (3882)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that when my professor had said "For every A there will be an F," he was deadly serious. I earned a 94% mark, which in this class is known as a D. FML

#19684129
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24313) - you deserved it (1764)

On 05/26/2012 at 3:34pm - misc - by dany - United States (Ohio)

Today, my wife allowed my mother-in-law to move in with us. She believes the government spies on her in the shower, and that the Prime Minister is a shape-shifting lizard who wants to microchip us all. I have to live with this psychotic wench until someone is desperate enough to employ her. FML

#19662623
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21422) - you deserved it (2301)

On 05/22/2012 at 2:42pm - misc - by fuq (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

#19650159
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26655) - you deserved it (3021)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, the Star Wars Cantina song had been stuck in my head since I woke up, as my brother was humming it. I finally managed to get it out of my head. Then my mom started to whistle it. It's stuck in my head again. FML

#19588733
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17782) - you deserved it (3839)

On 05/07/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML

#19576176
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38050) - you deserved it (2480) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/05/2012 at 6:06am - kids - by Grindyloo -



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