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oathkeeper99

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oathkeeper99

80Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Birmingham, United Kingdom
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 February 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7813
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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oathkeeper99's page activity

Visits<b>toebee4</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 1:46pm<b>ADDiva</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 12:48am<b>pop17123</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 4:40pm<b>MrConcise</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 1:06pm<b>ninjuh_wingman</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 5:41pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 8:51pm<b>cyrus_ocelot</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 3:00pm<b>Matt_Hazard</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 10:45pm<b>rachelthelime</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 5:39pm<b>bulletproof098</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 12:22pm<b>facelick</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 12:19pm<b>ircs56</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 10:21pm<b>mbdresnick</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 9:45pm<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 9:42pm<b>QD</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 3:56pm<b>LonelyPotato</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 10:51am<b>Inquisitor11</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 9:28am<b>StupidMonkey497</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 6:26am

Fucked!<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 8:20am<b>heirofhope</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 2:30am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 8:23am<b>Neut</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 11:18pm<b>delfino1604</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 12:36am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 3:08pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 1:38pm<b>minhas6096</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 1:50am<b>yoblackgranny</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 11:14am<b>dcam13</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 7:40am<b>gshocker20</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 6:48pm<b>sandman676</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 3:34pm<b>rylaii</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 11:39pm<b>DayDay98</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 2:10pm<b>lolol123</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:49pm<b>WilliamMurderfac</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 3:17pm<b>NateC27</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 7:53am<b>tiwan</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:07am

oathkeeper99's FML badges

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100 kick ass comments

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oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

#20181043
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31509) - you deserved it (1849)

On 11/27/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Cracky - United States (Maryland)

Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML

#20171802
172 comments

Today, I discovered my son, who has recently moved out of our home, eating his dog's food. His excuse? He wanted the new Pokemon game, and "compromises had to be made". FML

#20122132
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24126) - you deserved it (2983)

On 10/18/2012 at 4:33am - kids - by anon - Australia

Today, I've been a vegan for a year. It's also the day that I met my dad's new best friend, who happens to be a retired butcher. They tried to pull an intervention on me for not "being sensible" by eating meat. FML

#20099840
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17355) - you deserved it (17917)

On 10/03/2012 at 11:34am - misc - by Jlhfan90 - United States

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50043) - you deserved it (4320)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I learned I'm not allergic to gluten. My mom has kept me on a gluten free diet since I was 5. She was convinced I was allergic to it. I'm 25 and I am writing this over my first slice of pizza in 20 years. FML

#20057669
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36541) - you deserved it (2106)

On 09/04/2012 at 5:38pm - health - by Emma - United States (Missouri)

Today, the man who tried to mug me sent me a friend request on Facebook. FML

#20035075
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32833) - you deserved it (1975)

On 08/22/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML

#20034900
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39043) - you deserved it (9526)

On 08/22/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by ihateveganism (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my social anxiety hit a new low. I was playing bingo and, although I won, I didn't shout "bingo" because I thought too many people would look at me. FML

#20015021
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28642) - you deserved it (8479)

On 08/11/2012 at 10:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my sister and I were watching the Olympics. Michael Phelps was on the screen, and I was thinking how hot he is. My sister commented on how he looks so much like our brother. I can never look at either of them the same way ever again. FML

#19995813
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25851) - you deserved it (3887)

On 08/01/2012 at 1:51am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had a job interview, for which I spent hours preparing. My interviewer was nothing more than a pimple-faced teen, and after only two minutes of reviewing my qualifications, he lost interest and started asking such questions as which Hogwarts house is my favorite. FML

#19964470
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26748) - you deserved it (2965)

On 07/20/2012 at 4:26pm - work - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML

#19913255
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29730) - you deserved it (3975)

On 07/09/2012 at 3:31am - kids - by LNamesOnly (man) - Australia

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

#19903031
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68128) - you deserved it (5635)

On 07/07/2012 at 12:45am - health - by Dammit - United States (California)

Today, as I was getting ready to go to the midnight premiere of the new Spiderman movie, I was actually bitten by a spider. He gets super powers and a hot girl, I swell up like a balloon and get to spend the night in the hospital. FML

#19884595
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29763) - you deserved it (2377)

On 07/03/2012 at 4:03am - misc - by spiderfail - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got into a huge fight with a girl at school. My mom and dad decided to punish me by letting my three older brothers pick out my wardrobe for the next week. FML

#19812569
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26263) - you deserved it (16564)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:38pm - misc - by Shelby - United States (Illinois)



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