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oathkeeper99

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oathkeeper99

22Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 February 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4846
  • Number of comments : 72
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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oathkeeper99's page activity

Visits<b>Ecudaniel</b> - yesterday at 12:29am<b>cyrus_ocelot</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 7:00am<b>drugsRfun</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 3:58am<b>PePziNL</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 9:05pm<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 2:38am<b>avatarwill5</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 11:47pm<b>MrAwesomenezz</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 11:47pm<b>dom2122</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 7:37pm<b>Wondermage</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 6:35pm<b>benjamins39</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 6:12pm<b>tj4234</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 6:10pm<b>MortenM</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 4:47pm<b>RoVeR_2000</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 7:25am<b>IndicaPaincakes</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 1:40am<b>Redz1733</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 1:14pm<b>stalwartslacker</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 11:05pm<b>sam9697</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 8:46am<b>brandy_yarg</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 7:50am

Liked!<b>Edogg215</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 4:40pm<b>badmandilon</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 5:50am<b>bbrink</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 4:37am<b>KrisLifeSucks</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 12:33am<b>rebeltw</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 5:50am<b>GhostDuck</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 9:23pm<b>SampleSext</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 7:40pm<b>DolphinLaser23</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 12:59am<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 5:57pm<b>megaoshawott</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 11:59pm<b>saocrates</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 9:11pm<b>bakert</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 3:04am<b>FleibenHolden</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 8:28pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 10:50am<b>felixshaw</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 12:35am<b>zombiekiller52</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 11:38pm<b>Loewe90</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 9:51pm<b>sam9697</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 8:44pm

oathkeeper99's FML badges

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of oathkeeper99's badges

oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in there today and there was a note that said "Little Sister, stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML

#497309
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29725) - you deserved it (111007)

On 03/20/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Stacy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant, I'd forgotten my glasses and had a migraine. I was straining my eyes, squinting and rubbing my temples to alleviate my migraine. I was kicked out of the restaurant and banned henceforth because my waitress thought I was mocking her eyes. FML

Today, I was on a webcam with my friend. We were joking around so I stood up and flashed her. Her grandma choose that second to walk past and look at the screen. Her grandma now thinks were lesbians and that I'm a whore. FML

#416306
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20456) - you deserved it (70166)

On 03/17/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by webcammistake (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

#405303
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (137671) - you deserved it (37005)

On 03/17/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by princess (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

#405303
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (137671) - you deserved it (37005)

On 03/17/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by princess (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got a phone call saying I was no longer a bridesmaid for a wedding in June. It's my mom's 4th wedding. I'm getting replaced by our dog. FML

#400930
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (202788) - you deserved it (16890)

On 03/16/2009 at 10:41pm - animals - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML

#341783
543 comments

I agree, your life sucks (516228) - you deserved it (35254)

On 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm - love - by thankskimi (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I sat next to an attractive punk/rock guy on a plane. I decided to try to impress by playing music I thought he would like. I clicked The Who and opened a large window with the album cover, so he could see. The track then shuffled, and he was face to with a giant image of Miley Cyrus. FML

#333328
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14939) - you deserved it (108554)

On 03/15/2009 at 12:22am - love - by UH-OH (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML

#315595
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (133252) - you deserved it (10280)

On 03/14/2009 at 1:08am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting in Science class and to my surprise I felt my pants suddenly becoming warm and wet. I looked behind me to see that 4 boys from my class had inserted a small funnel into my exposed buttcrack and where pouring the melted butter from the experiment into that area. FML

#260451
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89133) - you deserved it (27044)

On 03/10/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Sarah - United Kingdom (Bolton)

Today, I was taking the subway to school. It was around 6:30am and I was listening to music and catching up on homework. When I took my headphones off to readjust them, I heard some grunting. I looked over at the man across from me to see he was masturbating. FML

#256186
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67506) - you deserved it (3235)

On 03/09/2009 at 10:04pm - intimacy - by danesy - United States (New York)

Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML

#247252
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56649) - you deserved it (12199)

On 03/08/2009 at 10:53pm - kids - by monty (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML

#225937
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15574) - you deserved it (63612)

On 03/06/2009 at 12:49pm - kids - by wetbutt (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was supposed to see an apartment. 30 minutes after I was to meet the owner, she still hadn't shown. I called her. When I got no response, I was annoyed and kept calling. Finally, she answered, said, "I'm in the hospital with my father. He just died. Please stop calling me," and hung up. FML

#220421
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48280) - you deserved it (19547)

On 03/05/2009 at 7:51pm - misc - by ohboy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at a party and we were all playing Seven Minutes in Heaven. It was my crush's turn to spin the bottle so my heart started pounding. The bottle pointed towards me! Then my crush said, "With her it'd be 'Seven Minutes in Hell'. Just skip me." FML

#198031
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (109724) - you deserved it (7183)

On 03/03/2009 at 6:00pm - love - by ILTali (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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