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oathkeeper99

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oathkeeper99

53Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Birmingham, United Kingdom
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 February 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6360
  • Number of comments : 90
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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oathkeeper99's page activity

Visits<b>Camwentz</b> - 6 hours ago<b>christofferkamal</b> - 22 hours ago<b>Oh_Saint_Dick</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 4:31am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 1:07am<b>Oblivion239</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 10:57pm<b>rockwrench</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 7:39am<b>hantu69</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 7:30pm<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 6:36pm<b>ACTIONbl00dROCK</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 5:35am<b>dantee2005</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 2:38pm<b>Dirtyclaws40</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 7:43pm<b>thizzzwack44</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 8:27pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 6:48pm<b>BradlyJ</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 2:02pm<b>GodPart2</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 6:31pm<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 3:27pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 12:25pm<b>EvilPandaxD</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 7:46pm

Fucked!<b>rockwrench</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 1:39pm<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 8:07am<b>Tander</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 2:28am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 9:43am<b>jordanrecatto</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 10:35pm<b>MrsHaxxo</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 12:10am<b>IceMan11</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 3:40am<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 4:14am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 3:06am<b>91hayek</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 12:56am<b>Matheo</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 10:04pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 9:26pm<b>Saber74</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 3:36pm<b>Evil20071</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 7:55pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 4:36pm<b>liquifiednate</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 3:36am<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 3:35am<b>tranced_</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 2:48am

oathkeeper99's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of oathkeeper99's badges

oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today, I was swimming in the ocean, not too far off shore. I had asked my mom to come in, but she was afraid of the water because fish had nipped at her toes or something back in the day. I told her there was nothing to fear. I ended up getting stung in the balls by a Jelly fish. FML

#566984
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68926) - you deserved it (10315)

On 03/23/2009 at 10:48pm - misc - by The_HML - United States (Maryland)

Today, I texted my boyfriend to see if he wanted to finally have sex today. His response was "Can't, Platinum just came out." I didn't know what that meant so I searched "Platinum 3-22-2009" on Google. I found out he's talking about a new Pokémon game. FML

#542382
459 comments

I agree, your life sucks (123318) - you deserved it (23071)

On 03/22/2009 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by thisreallysucks2 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went swimming. As I was getting out of the very crowded pool a little girl ran up to me pointed and yelled, "Mommy, I want big boobies like that when I grow up." I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML

#522932
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71901) - you deserved it (23400)

On 03/22/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by joshinbaltimore (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in there today and there was a note that said "Little Sister, stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML

#497309
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31731) - you deserved it (115893)

On 03/20/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Stacy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant, I'd forgotten my glasses and had a migraine. I was straining my eyes, squinting and rubbing my temples to alleviate my migraine. I was kicked out of the restaurant and banned henceforth because my waitress thought I was mocking her eyes. FML

Today, I was on a webcam with my friend. We were joking around so I stood up and flashed her. Her grandma choose that second to walk past and look at the screen. Her grandma now thinks were lesbians and that I'm a whore. FML

#416306
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21506) - you deserved it (71835)

On 03/17/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by webcammistake (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

#405303
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (144613) - you deserved it (38694)

On 03/17/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by princess (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

#405303
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (144613) - you deserved it (38694)

On 03/17/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by princess (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got a phone call saying I was no longer a bridesmaid for a wedding in June. It's my mom's 4th wedding. I'm getting replaced by our dog. FML

#400930
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (204220) - you deserved it (16957)

On 03/16/2009 at 10:41pm - animals - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML

#341783
557 comments

I agree, your life sucks (526397) - you deserved it (35387)

On 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm - love - by thankskimi (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I sat next to an attractive punk/rock guy on a plane. I decided to try to impress by playing music I thought he would like. I clicked The Who and opened a large window with the album cover, so he could see. The track then shuffled, and he was face to with a giant image of Miley Cyrus. FML

#333328
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15025) - you deserved it (108826)

On 03/15/2009 at 12:22am - love - by UH-OH (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML

#315595
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (139797) - you deserved it (11062)

On 03/14/2009 at 1:08am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting in Science class and to my surprise I felt my pants suddenly becoming warm and wet. I looked behind me to see that 4 boys from my class had inserted a small funnel into my exposed buttcrack and where pouring the melted butter from the experiment into that area. FML

#260451
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89385) - you deserved it (27098)

On 03/10/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Sarah - United Kingdom (Bolton)

Today, I was taking the subway to school. It was around 6:30am and I was listening to music and catching up on homework. When I took my headphones off to readjust them, I heard some grunting. I looked over at the man across from me to see he was masturbating. FML

#256186
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70506) - you deserved it (3512)

On 03/09/2009 at 10:04pm - intimacy - by danesy - United States (New York)



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