Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

oathkeeper99

Search for a member

oathkeeper99

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2519
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

oathkeeper99's page activity

Visits<b>markusmay16</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 10:50pm<b>KRAZYKILLAKLOWN</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 10:49pm<b>Dodger_fan16</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 5:26am<b>Jaybob98</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 5:59am<b>SystemofaBlink41</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 1:16am<b>xR3cKl3sSx</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 11:06pm<b>CJWilliams1984</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 12:58pm<b>Juicenub</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 11:17am<b>WildHorses1987</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 8:34am<b>jogihoppa8343</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 2:43pm<b>MajinOP</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 7:01pm<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 11:20am<b>Welshite</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 7:18am<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 5:45am<b>coaches</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 12:04am<b>1pirelli1</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 1:13pm<b>LMxDelta38</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 8:58pm<b>Rcmpbell</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 2:50pm

oathkeeper99's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of oathkeeper99's badges

oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered my son, who has recently moved out of our home, eating his dog's food. His excuse? He wanted the new Pokemon game, and "compromises had to be made". FML

#20122132
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20370) - you deserved it (2616)

On 10/18/2012 at 4:33am - kids - by anon - Australia

Today, I've been a vegan for a year. It's also the day that I met my dad's new best friend, who happens to be a retired butcher. They tried to pull an intervention on me for not "being sensible" by eating meat. FML

#20099840
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14618) - you deserved it (15822)

On 10/03/2012 at 11:34am - misc - by Jlhfan90 - United States

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44403) - you deserved it (3878)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I learned I'm not allergic to gluten. My mom has kept me on a gluten free diet since I was 5. She was convinced I was allergic to it. I'm 25 and I am writing this over my first slice of pizza in 20 years. FML

#20057669
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31994) - you deserved it (1791)

On 09/04/2012 at 5:38pm - health - by Emma - United States (Missouri)

Today, the man who tried to mug me sent me a friend request on Facebook. FML

#20035075
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28935) - you deserved it (1686)

On 08/22/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML

#20034900
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34375) - you deserved it (8775)

On 08/22/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by ihateveganism (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my social anxiety hit a new low. I was playing bingo and, although I won, I didn't shout "bingo" because I thought too many people would look at me. FML

#20015021
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24752) - you deserved it (7784)

On 08/11/2012 at 10:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my sister and I were watching the Olympics. Michael Phelps was on the screen, and I was thinking how hot he is. My sister commented on how he looks so much like our brother. I can never look at either of them the same way ever again. FML

#19995813
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22246) - you deserved it (3532)

On 08/01/2012 at 1:51am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had a job interview, for which I spent hours preparing. My interviewer was nothing more than a pimple-faced teen, and after only two minutes of reviewing my qualifications, he lost interest and started asking such questions as which Hogwarts house is my favorite. FML

#19964470
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22974) - you deserved it (2595)

On 07/20/2012 at 4:26pm - work - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML

#19913255
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25846) - you deserved it (3542)

On 07/09/2012 at 3:31am - kids - by LNamesOnly (man) - Australia

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

#19903031
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62261) - you deserved it (5026)

On 07/07/2012 at 12:45am - health - by Dammit - United States (California)

Today, as I was getting ready to go to the midnight premiere of the new Spiderman movie, I was actually bitten by a spider. He gets super powers and a hot girl, I swell up like a balloon and get to spend the night in the hospital. FML

#19884595
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26158) - you deserved it (2088)

On 07/03/2012 at 4:03am - misc - by spiderfail - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got into a huge fight with a girl at school. My mom and dad decided to punish me by letting my three older brothers pick out my wardrobe for the next week. FML

#19812569
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22728) - you deserved it (15125)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:38pm - misc - by Shelby - United States (Illinois)

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40672) - you deserved it (3857)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that when my professor had said "For every A there will be an F," he was deadly serious. I earned a 94% mark, which in this class is known as a D. FML

#19684129
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23981) - you deserved it (1739)

On 05/26/2012 at 3:34pm - misc - by dany - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: