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oathkeeper99

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oathkeeper99

70Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Birmingham, United Kingdom
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 February 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6671
  • Number of comments : 96
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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oathkeeper99's page activity

Visits<b>Spencyy</b> - 12 minutes ago<b>Jake42100</b> - 37 minutes ago<b>gshocker20</b> - one hour ago<b>ThuNDeY</b> - one hour ago<b>prajju99</b> - one hour ago<b>venomXVII</b> - 2 hours ago<b>chip993</b> - 2 hours ago<b>Antroxium</b> - 2 hours ago<b>Arsenal123</b> - 3 hours ago<b>trey600rr</b> - 3 hours ago<b>fahadleo66</b> - 3 hours ago<b>sagefitts</b> - 3 hours ago<b>hotrod1990</b> - 3 hours ago<b>minhas6096</b> - 3 hours ago<b>Dark_Zekrom</b> - 4 hours ago<b>gradius1002</b> - 4 hours ago<b>GodPart2</b> - 4 hours ago<b>pyromaniac9</b> - 4 hours ago

Fucked!<b>gshocker20</b> - just now<b>sandman676</b> - just now<b>rylaii</b> - yesterday at 11:39pm<b>DayDay98</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 2:10pm<b>lolol123</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:49pm<b>WilliamMurderfac</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 3:17pm<b>NateC27</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 7:53am<b>tiwan</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:07am<b>connaughty0225</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 3:42am<b>dracolich</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 12:47am<b>joely_nathan</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 6:59pm<b>ajt525</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 4:25pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 4:23pm<b>jorgsan</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 4:19pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 3:25pm<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 3:07pm<b>python199</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 1:07pm<b>rockwrench</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 1:39pm

oathkeeper99's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

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oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

#20577178
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52805) - you deserved it (5808)

On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML

#20572997
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49031) - you deserved it (5773)

On 04/03/2013 at 9:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31505) - you deserved it (5914)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend accused me of being a feeder, saying that's why she's been putting on so much weight. When I said it might be because she eats at McDonalds everyday, and that I was willing to start cooking low-calorie foods for us, she hit me. Then she went to McDonalds. FML

#20538059
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42249) - you deserved it (4894)

On 03/10/2013 at 12:03pm - love - by Raiden (man) - United Kingdom (Barnsley)

Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML

#20509329
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33019) - you deserved it (5569)

On 02/16/2013 at 10:27am - love - by MsCobb - United States (Ohio)

Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML

#20492744
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27865) - you deserved it (3211)

On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML

#20470936
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48229) - you deserved it (4093)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML

#20467584
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48564) - you deserved it (7620)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:20am - intimacy - by tingles (woman) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, my dad learned that it's possible to power a lightbulb with a potato. Since then, he's been going around the house removing all the plugs from the wall and plugging them into potatoes instead. He's absolutely baffled as to why it won't work. FML

#20450090
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29131) - you deserved it (2483)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:23pm - misc - by Darkandcold - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

#20437796
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40022) - you deserved it (4209)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

#20181043
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28453) - you deserved it (1631)

On 11/27/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Cracky - United States (Maryland)

Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML

#20171802
172 comments

Today, I discovered my son, who has recently moved out of our home, eating his dog's food. His excuse? He wanted the new Pokemon game, and "compromises had to be made". FML

#20122132
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22039) - you deserved it (2777)

On 10/18/2012 at 4:33am - kids - by anon - Australia

Today, I've been a vegan for a year. It's also the day that I met my dad's new best friend, who happens to be a retired butcher. They tried to pull an intervention on me for not "being sensible" by eating meat. FML

#20099840
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16038) - you deserved it (16996)

On 10/03/2012 at 11:34am - misc - by Jlhfan90 - United States

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47366) - you deserved it (4107)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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