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oathkeeper99

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oathkeeper99

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2495
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Visits<b>markusmay16</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 10:50pm<b>KRAZYKILLAKLOWN</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 10:49pm<b>Dodger_fan16</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 5:26am<b>Jaybob98</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 5:59am<b>SystemofaBlink41</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 1:16am<b>xR3cKl3sSx</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 11:06pm<b>CJWilliams1984</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 12:58pm<b>Juicenub</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 11:17am<b>WildHorses1987</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 8:34am<b>jogihoppa8343</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 2:43pm<b>MajinOP</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 7:01pm<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 11:20am<b>Welshite</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 7:18am<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 5:45am<b>coaches</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 12:04am<b>1pirelli1</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 1:13pm<b>LMxDelta38</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 8:58pm<b>Rcmpbell</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 2:50pm

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oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today, I repaired a boiler for a wealthy guy in a big house. While there, I fixed a leaking tap for free. When I went to go, the man slipped something into my shirt pocket and said "have a drink on me." When I got to my truck, I discovered that he'd given me a tea bag. FML

#598491
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68130) - you deserved it (5020)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by toast - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I was swimming in the ocean, not too far off shore. I had asked my mom to come in, but she was afraid of the water because fish had nipped at her toes or something back in the day. I told her there was nothing to fear. I ended up getting stung in the balls by a Jelly fish. FML

#566984
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65115) - you deserved it (9682)

On 03/23/2009 at 10:48pm - misc - by The_HML - United States (Maryland)

Today, I texted my boyfriend to see if he wanted to finally have sex today. His response was "Can't, Platinum just came out." I didn't know what that meant so I searched "Platinum 3-22-2009" on Google. I found out he's talking about a new Pokémon game. FML

#542382
452 comments

I agree, your life sucks (111898) - you deserved it (20252)

On 03/22/2009 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by thisreallysucks2 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went swimming. As I was getting out of the very crowded pool a little girl ran up to me pointed and yelled, "Mommy, I want big boobies like that when I grow up." I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML

#522932
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71155) - you deserved it (23125)

On 03/22/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by joshinbaltimore (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in there today and there was a note that said "Little Sister, stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML

#497309
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29071) - you deserved it (109371)

On 03/20/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Stacy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant, I'd forgotten my glasses and had a migraine. I was straining my eyes, squinting and rubbing my temples to alleviate my migraine. I was kicked out of the restaurant and banned henceforth because my waitress thought I was mocking her eyes. FML

#433810
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72214) - you deserved it (9028)

On 03/18/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by lemonjuice (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was on a webcam with my friend. We were joking around so I stood up and flashed her. Her grandma choose that second to walk past and look at the screen. Her grandma now thinks were lesbians and that I'm a whore. FML

#416306
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20114) - you deserved it (69623)

On 03/17/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by webcammistake (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

#405303
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (135174) - you deserved it (36403)

On 03/17/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by princess (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

#405303
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (135174) - you deserved it (36403)

On 03/17/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by princess (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got a phone call saying I was no longer a bridesmaid for a wedding in June. It's my mom's 4th wedding. I'm getting replaced by our dog. FML

#400930
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (186752) - you deserved it (11402)

On 03/16/2009 at 10:41pm - animals - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML

#341783
530 comments

I agree, your life sucks (486691) - you deserved it (24208)

On 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm - love - by thankskimi (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I sat next to an attractive punk/rock guy on a plane. I decided to try to impress by playing music I thought he would like. I clicked The Who and opened a large window with the album cover, so he could see. The track then shuffled, and he was face to with a giant image of Miley Cyrus. FML

#333328
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14495) - you deserved it (107125)

On 03/15/2009 at 12:22am - love - by UH-OH (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML

#315595
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (128260) - you deserved it (9700)

On 03/14/2009 at 1:08am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Texas)



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