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oathkeeper99

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oathkeeper99

53Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Birmingham, United Kingdom
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 February 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6332
  • Number of comments : 90
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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oathkeeper99's page activity

Visits<b>Oh_Saint_Dick</b> - 15 hours ago<b>karacakal2</b> - 18 hours ago<b>Oblivion239</b> - yesterday at 10:57pm<b>rockwrench</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 7:39am<b>hantu69</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 7:30pm<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 6:36pm<b>ACTIONbl00dROCK</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 5:35am<b>dantee2005</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 2:38pm<b>Dirtyclaws40</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 7:43pm<b>thizzzwack44</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 8:27pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 6:48pm<b>BradlyJ</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 2:02pm<b>GodPart2</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 6:31pm<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 3:27pm<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 5:10am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 12:25pm<b>EvilPandaxD</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 7:46pm<b>brandonwong</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 2:18am

Fucked!<b>rockwrench</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 1:39pm<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 8:07am<b>Tander</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 2:28am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 9:43am<b>jordanrecatto</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 10:35pm<b>MrsHaxxo</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 12:10am<b>IceMan11</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 3:40am<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 4:14am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 3:06am<b>91hayek</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 12:56am<b>Matheo</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 10:04pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 9:26pm<b>Saber74</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 3:36pm<b>Evil20071</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 7:55pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 4:36pm<b>liquifiednate</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 3:36am<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 3:35am<b>tranced_</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 2:48am

oathkeeper99's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of oathkeeper99's badges

oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today, I went swinging with my friend at the park. Seeing a few cute guys playing basketball, I tried to act cute, laughing loudly and letting my hair fly all over the place. Just as they look over the swing broke. I fell on my face, my jeans sliding down, mooning them. They laughed hysterically. FML

#1091323
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39987) - you deserved it (31741)

On 04/18/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by xxxdwangelaxxx (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was petting my cat when my new mood ring turned bright purple. I checked the piece of paper that came with the ring and saw that purple meant I was feeling "hot, sexy, and passionate." According to my ring, I'm hot for my cat. FML

#1070820
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43252) - you deserved it (15762)

On 04/17/2009 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by shutupandsmile18 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after two weeks of living on plain pasta, I finally got my paycheck and was excited that I'd get real food, and ride the subway instead of exhausting my malnourished body with the two-hour walk to work. My surname was misspelt on the check; the bank is holding it for ten days. FML

#985016
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75652) - you deserved it (3699)

On 04/15/2009 at 3:48am - money - by A. (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found my dog, who had been missing for over a month, at the local pound. Clearly it was my dog, she responded to her name and cried when she saw me. However, the woman there told me I could not simply take her, I had to follow through with all policies. I paid $250 to adopt my own dog. FML

#927038
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67681) - you deserved it (9349)

On 04/12/2009 at 1:55pm - animals - by anbrown6 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got back a paper after a peer review. I had worked really hard on it over the last week and was proud of the end result. When I got the paper back the only positive comment on the paper was "well I really like the blue staple you used to hold it together." FML

#897459
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50980) - you deserved it (4855)

On 04/10/2009 at 3:12am - misc - by Kim (woman) - United States

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

#853708
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92430) - you deserved it (27569)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I set my AIM status to be the currently-playing file on my iTunes. I've downloaded a lot of porn to my iTunes, and I wanted to watch some. My status changed to "Girl in Latex gets fucked in the ass." FML

#798927
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20078) - you deserved it (146224)

On 04/04/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by ohshittttttt (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my best friend and I came home from Japan. Her boyfriend and I have been having an affair before I left so I decided not to tell him she was coming with me. We just got off the plane and got a bite to eat, he was waiting for me so he could propose, my best friend was standing next to me. FML

#786333
417 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16059) - you deserved it (205199)

On 04/03/2009 at 5:43pm - love - by C0olgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

#784043
476 comments

I agree, your life sucks (429630) - you deserved it (67847)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I saw a lesbian couple walking through the mall. One of the ladies walked up to me in the middle of the busy mall and started screaming at me about how rude it is to stare, and how we are all equal- straight or not. I was only staring because I'm a lesbian too, and they were hot. FML

#774931
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (176132) - you deserved it (28388)

On 04/02/2009 at 10:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to log in to my computer on a projector in front of business associates at my dad's architecture firm. I typed in my username and apparently didn't hit the tab key hard enough, so I typed my password in the username box. The entire firm now knows my password is "tits123". FML

#642642
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15929) - you deserved it (72279)

On 03/27/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I bought my girlfriend two tickets to a Broadway show that was coming through town she really wanted to see. I couldn't attend with her due to work so she said she would take her mom. I found out later she took her ex. Now they're back together, and I paid for the date that made it happen. FML

#625298
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (163884) - you deserved it (22257)

On 03/26/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by Voice29 (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was texting two people at once. Trying to respond to my friend's text, I accidentally clicked on this guy's name instead, who I've never met. He just told me about his grandma's funeral he went to that was an open casket. I responded with, "Haha wow you slut, I'm sure you were aroused." FML

Today, I repaired a boiler for a wealthy guy in a big house. While there, I fixed a leaking tap for free. When I went to go, the man slipped something into my shirt pocket and said "have a drink on me." When I got to my truck, I discovered that he'd given me a tea bag. FML

#598491
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74836) - you deserved it (5678)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by toast - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)



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