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oathkeeper99

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oathkeeper99

80Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Birmingham, United Kingdom
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 February 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7818
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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oathkeeper99's page activity

Visits<b>toebee4</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 1:46pm<b>ADDiva</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 12:48am<b>pop17123</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 4:40pm<b>MrConcise</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 1:06pm<b>ninjuh_wingman</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 5:41pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 8:51pm<b>cyrus_ocelot</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 3:00pm<b>Matt_Hazard</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 10:45pm<b>rachelthelime</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 5:39pm<b>bulletproof098</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 12:22pm<b>facelick</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 12:19pm<b>ircs56</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 10:21pm<b>mbdresnick</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 9:45pm<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 9:42pm<b>QD</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 3:56pm<b>LonelyPotato</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 10:51am<b>Inquisitor11</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 9:28am<b>StupidMonkey497</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 6:26am

Fucked!<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 8:20am<b>heirofhope</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 2:30am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 8:23am<b>Neut</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 11:18pm<b>delfino1604</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 12:36am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 3:08pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 1:38pm<b>minhas6096</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 1:50am<b>yoblackgranny</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 11:14am<b>dcam13</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 7:40am<b>gshocker20</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 6:48pm<b>sandman676</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 3:34pm<b>rylaii</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 11:39pm<b>DayDay98</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 2:10pm<b>lolol123</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:49pm<b>WilliamMurderfac</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 3:17pm<b>NateC27</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 7:53am<b>tiwan</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:07am

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oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a swim meet. I was on a relay team and I was the anchor. My team was in 1st. I was ready to dive in when I saw my tampon string was hanging out of my suit. I freaked, slid off the block, and fell on top of the guy before me and gave him a concussion. We got DQed for a false start FML

#1311543
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46650) - you deserved it (16396)

On 04/25/2009 at 1:44am - misc - by suckatlifeeexo (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom had big news. I've been trying to get her to quit smoking because of second hand smoke for 20 years. She learned today that second hand smoke severely affects animals as well. Her big news? She's quitting. She doesn't want to hurt the dog. FML

#1296374
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65216) - you deserved it (3587)

On 04/24/2009 at 6:23pm - health - by whatthehell (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a party. The girl I'm madly in love with referred to me as her 'Gay Friend.' She refused to kiss me in Spin-the-Bottle as 'She didn't want to do anything with anyone that night'. She then made out, and slept with, my 'best friend' whom she had never met before. FML

#1218026
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78158) - you deserved it (6410)

On 04/22/2009 at 9:50am - love - by Bo (man) - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, my shower is being renovated so I decided to wash my hair in the kitchen sink. I put my two year old son on the counter next to me so I could keep him close. As I was rinsing out my hair, my son started playing with the light switches. He flicked the garbage disposal by accident. FML

#1206397
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71869) - you deserved it (27711)

On 04/21/2009 at 8:12pm - kids - by hairball (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to a cosmetic dentist and got a chip in my tooth filled in that I’d had since I was 7. I went out later and my friend jokingly hit my head against the table a few times to make fun of me showing off my teeth. He slipped. I fell. I now have 2 chipped teeth and a broken nose. FML

#1186879
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57458) - you deserved it (9996)

On 04/21/2009 at 6:51am - health - by Chip (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

#1104891
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (519295) - you deserved it (33354)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went swinging with my friend at the park. Seeing a few cute guys playing basketball, I tried to act cute, laughing loudly and letting my hair fly all over the place. Just as they look over the swing broke. I fell on my face, my jeans sliding down, mooning them. They laughed hysterically. FML

#1091323
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42412) - you deserved it (33389)

On 04/18/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by xxxdwangelaxxx (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was petting my cat when my new mood ring turned bright purple. I checked the piece of paper that came with the ring and saw that purple meant I was feeling "hot, sexy, and passionate." According to my ring, I'm hot for my cat. FML

#1070820
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45311) - you deserved it (16312)

On 04/17/2009 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by shutupandsmile18 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after two weeks of living on plain pasta, I finally got my paycheck and was excited that I'd get real food, and ride the subway instead of exhausting my malnourished body with the two-hour walk to work. My surname was misspelt on the check; the bank is holding it for ten days. FML

#985016
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79103) - you deserved it (3930)

On 04/15/2009 at 3:48am - money - by A. (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found my dog, who had been missing for over a month, at the local pound. Clearly it was my dog, she responded to her name and cried when she saw me. However, the woman there told me I could not simply take her, I had to follow through with all policies. I paid $250 to adopt my own dog. FML

#927038
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69491) - you deserved it (9518)

On 04/12/2009 at 1:55pm - animals - by anbrown6 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got back a paper after a peer review. I had worked really hard on it over the last week and was proud of the end result. When I got the paper back the only positive comment on the paper was "well I really like the blue staple you used to hold it together." FML

#897459
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53068) - you deserved it (5054)

On 04/10/2009 at 3:12am - misc - by Kim (woman) - United States

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

#853708
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97163) - you deserved it (29109)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I set my AIM status to be the currently-playing file on my iTunes. I've downloaded a lot of porn to my iTunes, and I wanted to watch some. My status changed to "Girl in Latex gets fucked in the ass." FML

#798927
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21627) - you deserved it (154743)

On 04/04/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by ohshittttttt (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my best friend and I came home from Japan. Her boyfriend and I have been having an affair before I left so I decided not to tell him she was coming with me. We just got off the plane and got a bite to eat, he was waiting for me so he could propose, my best friend was standing next to me. FML

#786333
417 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18603) - you deserved it (218360)

On 04/03/2009 at 5:43pm - love - by C0olgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

#784043
481 comments

I agree, your life sucks (447025) - you deserved it (74315)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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