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oathkeeper99

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oathkeeper99

80Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Birmingham, United Kingdom
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 February 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7887
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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oathkeeper99's page activity

Visits<b>thatnakedguy</b> - yesterday at 7:14am<b>toebee4</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 1:46pm<b>ADDiva</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 12:48am<b>pop17123</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 4:40pm<b>MrConcise</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 1:06pm<b>ninjuh_wingman</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 5:41pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 8:51pm<b>cyrus_ocelot</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 3:00pm<b>Matt_Hazard</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 10:45pm<b>rachelthelime</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 5:39pm<b>bulletproof098</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 12:22pm<b>facelick</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 12:19pm<b>ircs56</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 10:21pm<b>mbdresnick</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 9:45pm<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 9:42pm<b>QD</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 3:56pm<b>LonelyPotato</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 10:51am<b>Inquisitor11</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 9:28am

Fucked!<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 8:20am<b>heirofhope</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 2:30am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 8:23am<b>Neut</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 11:18pm<b>delfino1604</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 12:36am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 3:08pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 1:38pm<b>minhas6096</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 1:50am<b>yoblackgranny</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 11:14am<b>dcam13</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 7:40am<b>gshocker20</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 6:48pm<b>sandman676</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 3:34pm<b>rylaii</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 11:39pm<b>DayDay98</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 2:10pm<b>lolol123</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:49pm<b>WilliamMurderfac</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 3:17pm<b>NateC27</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 7:53am<b>tiwan</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:07am

oathkeeper99's FML badges

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100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

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oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today, while checking through the graphic novel section of my library, I noticed a gay manga porn comic. While I was wondering who in the world would ever RENT such an item, I realised I had been staring at it for a full five minutes and people were watching me. FML

#1958510
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18053) - you deserved it (59751)

On 05/15/2009 at 7:07am - intimacy - by dwek (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I was pulling my trolley luggage at the airport when I passed 2 cute girls smiling at me. Thinking I looked real cool, I kept on walking without paying heed to anything else. Then my brother shouted asking me what was I doing, only to realise that the handle had come off a few metres back. FML

#1954003
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11649) - you deserved it (41044)

On 05/15/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by NotSoCool (man) - Singapore

Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML

#1930337
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (395418) - you deserved it (20824)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, one of my three-year-old twin daughters asked, "Dad, can we get a cat?" I replied in a gentle dad voice, "No, honey, dad is allergic to cats. That means they make him sneeze and sniffle. So we can't get a cat. Sorry." After a slight pause, the other asked, "When you die can we get a cat?" FML

#1927832
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66997) - you deserved it (6244)

On 05/14/2009 at 11:24am - kids - by TwinDad (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I graduated from college and my parents gave me an apple. Not the computer, the fruit. FML

#1901911
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66379) - you deserved it (5429)

On 05/13/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by anon (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML

#1704585
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66885) - you deserved it (3036)

On 05/06/2009 at 9:43pm - misc - by Gumfanatic302 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML

#1600602
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (133852) - you deserved it (7402)

On 05/03/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by Aether (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, in math class we were learning about gravity. To demonstrate my teacher asked me to stand on the desk and then step off. Upon stepping on the desk it curved inward and cracked. Everyone was dying of laughter. Fuck gravity. FML

#1547759
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72221) - you deserved it (9638)

On 05/02/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by systeminitiated (man) - Canada

Today, I was rollerblading in the university gardens and taking pictures. A worker started to yell at me, and I told him that I had perfect control and could stay on the sidewalk. As I turned to skate away, I faceplanted into a bed of prized rare flowers. FML

#1481817
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9630) - you deserved it (61732)

On 04/30/2009 at 2:11am - misc - by krizleykrislo - United States (Michigan)

Today, my teacher called me into his office so he that he could pass me some information for my project. Just as he plugged in my thumbdrive, he opened the folder named "School Work". That was the folder name I used to disguise my porn. FML

#1415955
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25338) - you deserved it (107575)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, my family was talking about how people's hair goes gray when they get old. My grandma mentioned that she was initially attracted to my grandpa because of his red hair and was sad when it turned gray. "It's ok," she continued, "his pubic hair is still red." FML

#1378571
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71161) - you deserved it (4097)

On 04/27/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by ewwww (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was sitting next to the guy I like and he was doing homework. Then, he looks up, his eyes meeting mine. His smooth voice mutters my name as his face inches closer to mine. I can feel his minty breath against my face. My pulse is racing. Then, he says "What's a pronoun?" FML

#1372393
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59583) - you deserved it (11794)

On 04/26/2009 at 9:14pm - love - by theatreismylife (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was hanging out at my school with some friends when my mom came to pick me up. A girl I knew wanted a hug before I left. I turned around to hug her and a clip on my backpack got stuck on her tank top. I tuned away the clip pulled the shirt ripping it and exposing her naked chest. FML

#1342086
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68391) - you deserved it (8509)

On 04/26/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by Mikey (man) - United States (Illinois)



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