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oathkeeper99

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oathkeeper99

34Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 February 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5406
  • Number of comments : 80
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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oathkeeper99's page activity

Visits<b>elusiveshame</b> - 6 hours ago<b>robertd73</b> - 14 hours ago<b>muzy</b> - 20 hours ago<b>Soninuva</b> - 22 hours ago<b>meggsann10</b> - yesterday at 12:48pm<b>khoov19</b> - yesterday at 1:07am<b>sweetgurl1985</b> - yesterday at 11:54pm<b>yamcha</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 10:20am<b>BigxXxDeal</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 6:20am<b>seenoevil818</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 4:12am<b>Tits_N_Turbos</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 4:11am<b>sunnyskys</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:48pm<b>ADBurns</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:26pm<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:10pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:01pm<b>morrisonemm_</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 6:40pm<b>corrieh</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 5:37pm<b>Stillalex</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 5:36pm

Liked!<b>Justified12</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 6:23am<b>rafa015</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 4:15am<b>ekimen</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 10:12am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 11:54pm<b>dudeguy1989</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 5:12pm<b>meggsann10</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 3:50pm<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 2:41pm<b>HairyPunisher</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 12:19pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 12:04pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 12:00pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 8:58pm<b>Pablo1321</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 5:37pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 4:40pm<b>badmandilon</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 5:50am<b>bbrink</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 4:37am<b>KrisLifeSucks</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 12:33am<b>rebeltw</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 5:50am<b>GhostDuck</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 9:23pm

oathkeeper99's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of oathkeeper99's badges

oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today I witnessed the homeless man that visits mah neighborhood placing bags containing his own poop in mah trash cans . I later received a notice stating that the garbage company will not provide mah residence with garbage service until I “refrain from placing bags of mah own feces in the trash.” FML

#2339155
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48815) - you deserved it (2678)

On 05/27/2009 at 11:39am - misc - by Brook363 (woman) - United States (California)

Today.. . I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants . When he returned.. . he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool . I pull out my 22 . rifle an shot at it.. . but the bullet missed an popped a hole in my pool . 15...000 gallons of water flooded my basement . FML

#2321503
854 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36871) - you deserved it (264666)

On 05/26/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by Jerrrr (man) - United States (New York)

yesterday I went bowling . The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself an had a few of his own bowling balls, an he had one that looked like a yin-yang an it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins . Not really thinking, I casually said to him ( Hey, I like your balls . ) FML

#2039933
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16240) - you deserved it (52884)

On 05/18/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by nothing (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

yesterday I went bowling . The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself an had a few of his own bowling balls, an he had one that looked like a yin-yang an it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins . Not really thinking, I casually said to him ( Hey, I like your balls . ) FML

#2039933
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16240) - you deserved it (52884)

On 05/18/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by nothing (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today... mah boyfriend and I went to a Taylor Swift concert. At the concert they put up a sign that said "Scream if u love country boys." My boyfriend took one look at it and started screaming. mega FML

#1971558
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54804) - you deserved it (11444)

On 05/16/2009 at 3:52am - love - by TayTay (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today... while checking through the graphic novel section of my library... I noticd a gay manga porn comic. While I was wondering who in the world would ever RENT such an item... I realisd I had been staring at it for a full five minutes and people were watching me. FML

#1958510
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16239) - you deserved it (56204)

On 05/15/2009 at 7:07am - intimacy - by dwek (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I was pulling my trolley luggage at the airporthen I passed 2 cute girls smiling at me. Thinking I looked real cool, I kept on walking without paying heed to anything else. Then my brother shouted asking me wat was I doing, only to realise that the handle had come off a few metres back. FML

#1954003
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10516) - you deserved it (39084)

On 05/15/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by NotSoCool (man) - Singapore

Today, it's mah brthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The frst one was mah fiancé, saying he wantd his ring back. The second one was mah best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with mah fiancé fir the past three months. The thrd was the dentist's office singing me a happy brthday. FML

#1930337
409 comments

I agree, your life sucks (374713) - you deserved it (19025)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Yesterday, one of my three-year-old twin daughters asked, "Dad, can we get a cat?" I replied in a gentle dad voice, "No, honey, dad is allergic to cats. That means they make him sneeze an sniffle. So we can't get a cat. Sorry." After a slight pause, the other asked, "When u die can we get a cat?" mega FML

#1927832
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62322) - you deserved it (5823)

On 05/14/2009 at 11:24am - kids - by TwinDad (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today , I graduated from college and my parents gave me an apple. Not the computer , the fruit. FML

#1901911
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62907) - you deserved it (5065)

On 05/13/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by anon (man) - United States (Georgia)

TODAY, I GOT A CALL FROM MY CHILD'S PRESCHOOL SAYING THAT ( MINDY KEEPS SAYING SHE SITS ON HER DADDY'S LAP AND PLAYS WITH HIS PETER. ) MY DAUGHTER MEANT 'PUTER, AS IN COMPUTER. NOW THE SCHOOL IS WORRIED MY HUSBAND IS A CHILD MOLESTER. FML

#1704585
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63944) - you deserved it (2832)

On 05/06/2009 at 9:43pm - misc - by Gumfanatic302 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. mega FML

#1600602
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (124841) - you deserved it (6708)

On 05/03/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by Aether (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, in math class we were lerening about gravity. To demonstrate mah teacher asked me to stand on the desk an then step off. Upon stepping on the desk it curved inward an cracked. Everyone was dying of laughter. Fuck gravity. FML

#1547759
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68445) - you deserved it (9185)

On 05/02/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by systeminitiated (man) - Canada



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