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oathkeeper99

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oathkeeper99

43Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 February 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5971
  • Number of comments : 87
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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oathkeeper99's page activity

Visits<b>drworm94</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 9:36am<b>MissEris</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 8:52pm<b>Matheo</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 3:26pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 1:00pm<b>pikon</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 10:35pm<b>91hayek</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 6:56pm<b>Confederate_1861</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 10:24pm<b>Jake42100</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 1:01am<b>SilkMudah</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 12:15am<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 2:43pm<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 1:46pm<b>ligerzero459</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 1:32pm<b>BergerL</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 11:50am<b>ENCOURAGER</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 11:49am<b>alfonze07</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 11:32am<b>Scryll</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 10:23am<b>0mysteriousman0</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 9:38am<b>Cort_Wright</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 9:34pm

Fucked!<b>91hayek</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 12:56am<b>Matheo</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 10:04pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 9:26pm<b>Saber74</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 3:36pm<b>Evil20071</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 7:55pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 4:36pm<b>liquifiednate</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 3:36am<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 3:35am<b>tranced_</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 2:48am<b>Justified12</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 6:23am<b>rafa015</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 4:15am<b>ekimen</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 10:12am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 11:54pm<b>dudeguy1989</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 5:12pm<b>meggsann10</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 3:50pm<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 2:41pm<b>HairyPunisher</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 12:19pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 12:04pm

oathkeeper99's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of oathkeeper99's badges

oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today, I called the number a guy had given me at a bar last night. I got the Soulja Boy Hotline. Now every few hours I get messages on my phone like 'Good morning! Jump on up and get yo swag on, this is Soulja Boy!' and I can't seem to get it to stop. FML

#2482852
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48807) - you deserved it (7713)

On 05/31/2009 at 10:05pm - love - by rain (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

#2459150
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23102) - you deserved it (76075)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)

Today, I witnessed the homeless man that visits my neighborhood placing bags containing his own poop in my trash cans. I later received a notice stating that the garbage company will not provide my residence with garbage service until I “refrain from placing bags of my own feces in the trash.” FML

#2339155
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48871) - you deserved it (2680)

On 05/27/2009 at 11:39am - misc - by Brook363 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML

#2321503
854 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36997) - you deserved it (265852)

On 05/26/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by Jerrrr (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him "Hey, I like your balls." FML

#2039933
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16785) - you deserved it (53714)

On 05/18/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by nothing (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him "Hey, I like your balls." FML

#2039933
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16785) - you deserved it (53714)

On 05/18/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by nothing (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a Taylor Swift concert. At the concert they put up a sign that said "Scream if you love country boys." My boyfriend took one look at it and started screaming. FML

#1971558
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55218) - you deserved it (11536)

On 05/16/2009 at 3:52am - love - by TayTay (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while checking through the graphic novel section of my library, I noticed a gay manga porn comic. While I was wondering who in the world would ever RENT such an item, I realised I had been staring at it for a full five minutes and people were watching me. FML

#1958510
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16263) - you deserved it (56252)

On 05/15/2009 at 7:07am - intimacy - by dwek (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I was pulling my trolley luggage at the airport when I passed 2 cute girls smiling at me. Thinking I looked real cool, I kept on walking without paying heed to anything else. Then my brother shouted asking me what was I doing, only to realise that the handle had come off a few metres back. FML

#1954003
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10541) - you deserved it (39138)

On 05/15/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by NotSoCool (man) - Singapore

Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML

#1930337
411 comments

I agree, your life sucks (379738) - you deserved it (19731)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, one of my three-year-old twin daughters asked, "Dad, can we get a cat?" I replied in a gentle dad voice, "No, honey, dad is allergic to cats. That means they make him sneeze and sniffle. So we can't get a cat. Sorry." After a slight pause, the other asked, "When you die can we get a cat?" FML

#1927832
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62387) - you deserved it (5828)

On 05/14/2009 at 11:24am - kids - by TwinDad (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I graduated from college and my parents gave me an apple. Not the computer, the fruit. FML

#1901911
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62971) - you deserved it (5071)

On 05/13/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by anon (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML

#1704585
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64022) - you deserved it (2836)

On 05/06/2009 at 9:43pm - misc - by Gumfanatic302 (woman) - United States (Nevada)



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