oathkeeper99

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oathkeeper99

82Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Birmingham, United Kingdom
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 February 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 11152
  • Number of comments : 142
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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oathkeeper99's page activity

Visits<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 1:11am<b>Necropool</b> - the 09/01/2016 at 3:26am<b>footinthemouth07</b> - the 08/31/2016 at 9:09am<b>Rababco</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 4:54pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/06/2016 at 11:23am<b>AndronicusPark</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 5:46am<b>vh_musiclover</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 7:21pm<b>Mightytall</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 4:18am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 1:55pm<b>minxchi</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 10:03pm<b>WD_Stevens</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 4:43pm<b>KaneCR</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 12:33pm<b>minhas6096</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 10:09am<b>thatboysam</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 11:21pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 4:52pm<b>BabooonLove</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 1:27pm<b>lscottygl</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 1:10pm<b>JoshWade62</b> - the 06/02/2016 at 3:39am

Fucked!<b>AnthraxPrincess</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 5:11am<b>cornyrob</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 2:34pm<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 8:20am<b>heirofhope</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 2:30am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 8:23am<b>Neut</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 11:18pm<b>delfino1604</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 12:36am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 3:08pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 1:38pm<b>minhas6096</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 1:50am<b>yoblackgranny</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 11:14am<b>dcam13</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 7:40am<b>gshocker20</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 6:48pm<b>sandman676</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 3:34pm<b>rylaii</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 11:39pm<b>DayDay98</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 2:10pm<b>lolol123</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:49pm<b>WilliamMurderfac</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 3:17pm

oathkeeper99's FML badges

I’m your new creative director

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You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

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oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me I spread my legs to help out then he looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML

by BarbieKen / 06/14/2009 at 12:14am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting in class when the most popular girl in my grade came up to me holding birthday invitation cards. I've never been invited to a birthday party, so I was so excited when she handed me a card only to hear her say, "Mary is on your bus, will you give this to her?" FML

by loner / 06/07/2009 at 8:28am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, when petting my friend's dog, I acted like I was going to make out with him. While I wasn't looking the dog stuck his entire tongue in my mouth. FML

by thedogkisser / 06/06/2009 at 3:44pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I was working and some woman wanted to pay with a credit card. It already had a picture on the card so you don't have to ask for i.d., and just glancing at it I asked, "Oh, is this your husband's card?" She then replied, "No, that's just me with glasses and short hair." FML

by em / 06/03/2009 at 2:50am / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, at my graduation for my high school GED, my parents said they were getting all my family and my girlfriend together. So we all went out to a steakhouse down the road, everyone ordered steaks. Turns out the 'surprise' was me paying. I only got 50$ grad money, and the bill was 159.98. FML

by Anonymous / 06/03/2009 at 1:40am / United States (Virginia) / Money

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

by fmlfmlfml / 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I called the number a guy had given me at a bar last night. I got the Soulja Boy Hotline. Now every few hours I get messages on my phone like 'Good morning! Jump on up and get yo swag on, this is Soulja Boy!' and I can't seem to get it to stop. FML

by rain / 05/31/2009 at 10:05pm / United States (West Virginia) / Love

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

by deucelututi / 05/31/2009 at 8:03am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I witnessed the homeless man that visits my neighborhood placing bags containing his own poop in my trash cans. I later received a notice stating that the garbage company will not provide my residence with garbage service until I “refrain from placing bags of my own feces in the trash.” FML

by Brook363 / 05/27/2009 at 11:39am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML

by Jerrrr / 05/26/2009 at 8:22pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML

by zero_minded12 / 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML

by zero_minded12 / 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him "Hey, I like your balls." FML

by nothing / 05/18/2009 at 1:12am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him "Hey, I like your balls." FML

by nothing / 05/18/2009 at 1:12am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a Taylor Swift concert. At the concert they put up a sign that said "Scream if you love country boys." My boyfriend took one look at it and started screaming. FML

by TayTay / 05/16/2009 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Love