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oathkeeper99

Offline (the 08/26/2015 at 4:38pm) | Search for a member

oathkeeper99

73Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Birmingham, United Kingdom
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 February 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6871
  • Number of comments : 101
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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oathkeeper99's page activity

Visits<b>gopi</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 1:56pm<b>sethu16</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 1:53pm<b>Helipilot86</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 11:13pm<b>GAMERZxxHD</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 5:50pm<b>daveydavidson111</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 5:19pm<b>canadaguy08</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 12:54pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 11:42am<b>DeathIsHot</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 3:26pm<b>Dwarfed</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 12:11am<b>thatnakedguy</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 9:07am<b>saltontherim</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 8:25am<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 4:52am<b>dirtbikeguy</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 11:12pm<b>Laeffy</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 4:22pm<b>RMLrapemylife</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 6:34pm<b>last_kings84</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 3:35pm<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 2:43pm<b>Carpenter_C</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 9:59am

Fucked!<b>minhas6096</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 1:50am<b>yoblackgranny</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 11:14am<b>dcam13</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 7:40am<b>gshocker20</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 6:48pm<b>sandman676</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 3:34pm<b>rylaii</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 11:39pm<b>DayDay98</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 2:10pm<b>lolol123</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:49pm<b>WilliamMurderfac</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 3:17pm<b>NateC27</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 7:53am<b>tiwan</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:07am<b>connaughty0225</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 3:42am<b>dracolich</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 12:47am<b>joely_nathan</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 6:59pm<b>ajt525</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 4:25pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 4:23pm<b>jorgsan</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 4:19pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 3:25pm

oathkeeper99's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of oathkeeper99's badges

oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the park with a friend when I said "Gotta go, sorry. I've got court in an hour." The lady on the bench next to us then loudly complained how disgusting I was for being a criminal and threw her bird seed at me, dirtying my suit. I'm a lawyer with a case in an hour, not a criminal. FML

#3457601
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52002) - you deserved it (3667)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:56pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML

#3368467
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79764) - you deserved it (12134)

On 06/30/2009 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got beaten up by my ex-girlfriend's older brother who does mixed martial arts, because my ex saw me making out with another girl. We broke up over 6 months ago. FML

#3338347
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62404) - you deserved it (4758)

On 06/29/2009 at 3:55pm - misc - by thatCanadianGuy7 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML

#3268493
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (132764) - you deserved it (9959)

On 06/27/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan

Today, is the first day of my honeymoon. It has been 6 years since I took a "real" vacation. We have 3 kids and a small house, and now we have 9 days alone in random hotels to do what couples do on their honeymoon without kids... Day one, I got my period 7 days early. FML

#3091198
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79342) - you deserved it (4854)

On 06/21/2009 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by picaru (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my 18th birthday. I got one thing: a fancy electric toothbrush from my little sister. I would say I'm happy to have something rather than nothing, except, for as long as the toothbrush works, there will be a Hannah Montana concert going on in my mouth. FML

#2935606
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52082) - you deserved it (3968)

On 06/16/2009 at 7:14am - misc - by BirthdayTeeth - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I reached into my fridge to grab a strawberry soda. I noticed the can had started to leak from the top so I slurped up the spilt red liquid on the top of the can. I realized it wasn't soda, but blood from a defrosting steak on the shelf above it. FML

#2929872
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51909) - you deserved it (22189)

On 06/16/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by kjmsit (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me I spread my legs to help out then he looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML

#2874076
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39144) - you deserved it (60820)

On 06/14/2009 at 12:14am - intimacy - by BarbieKen (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was sitting in class when the most popular girl in my grade came up to me holding birthday invitation cards. I've never been invited to a birthday party, so I was so excited when she handed me a card only to hear her say, "Mary is on your bus, will you give this to her?" FML

#2685783
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64225) - you deserved it (4454)

On 06/07/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by loner (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, when petting my friend's dog, I acted like I was going to make out with him. While I wasn't looking the dog stuck his entire tongue in my mouth. FML

#2663554
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11049) - you deserved it (80810)

On 06/06/2009 at 3:44pm - health - by thedogkisser (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working and some woman wanted to pay with a credit card. It already had a picture on the card so you don't have to ask for i.d., and just glancing at it I asked, "Oh, is this your husband's card?" She then replied, "No, that's just me with glasses and short hair." FML

#2558770
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16530) - you deserved it (42657)

On 06/03/2009 at 2:50am - work - by em (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, at my graduation for my high school GED, my parents said they were getting all my family and my girlfriend together. So we all went out to a steakhouse down the road, everyone ordered steaks. Turns out the 'surprise' was me paying. I only got 50$ grad money, and the bill was 159.98. FML

#2557245
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56369) - you deserved it (4651)

On 06/03/2009 at 1:40am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)



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