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oathkeeper99

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oathkeeper99

22Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 February 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4910
  • Number of comments : 74
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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oathkeeper99's page activity

Visits<b>russfml</b> - 18 minutes ago<b>RoVeR_2000</b> - 10 hours ago<b>michaelm1290</b> - 15 hours ago<b>Whoop_whoop</b> - yesterday at 11:40am<b>BakedTaters</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 11:48pm<b>Ecudaniel</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 12:29am<b>cyrus_ocelot</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 7:00am<b>drugsRfun</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 3:58am<b>PePziNL</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 9:05pm<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 2:38am<b>avatarwill5</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 11:47pm<b>MrAwesomenezz</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 11:47pm<b>dom2122</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 7:37pm<b>Wondermage</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 6:35pm<b>benjamins39</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 6:12pm<b>tj4234</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 6:10pm<b>MortenM</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 4:47pm<b>IndicaPaincakes</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 1:40am

Liked!<b>Edogg215</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 4:40pm<b>badmandilon</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 5:50am<b>bbrink</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 4:37am<b>KrisLifeSucks</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 12:33am<b>rebeltw</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 5:50am<b>GhostDuck</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 9:23pm<b>SampleSext</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 7:40pm<b>DolphinLaser23</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 12:59am<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 5:57pm<b>megaoshawott</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 11:59pm<b>saocrates</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 9:11pm<b>bakert</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 3:04am<b>FleibenHolden</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 8:28pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 10:50am<b>felixshaw</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 12:35am<b>zombiekiller52</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 11:38pm<b>Loewe90</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 9:51pm<b>sam9697</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 8:44pm

oathkeeper99's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of oathkeeper99's badges

oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I got a new stainless steel microwave. When we took it out of the package we noticed it was blue and got angry. We were about to return it, but we called in our 12 year old daughter to see what she thought of the microwave. She then took off the blue protective plastic. FML

#4026521
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8157) - you deserved it (80082)

On 07/25/2009 at 7:30am - kids - by BlueBaby123 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

#3971030
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17243) - you deserved it (68549)

On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States

Today, I was going to surprise my boyfriend at his family birthday celebration with a $2,000 trip he's always wanted, Ireland. Right before my gift, he had opened his mother's gift, an envelope containing a plane ticket. Guess where it was going? FML

#3949240
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44762) - you deserved it (4474)

On 07/22/2009 at 4:11am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend on my boat at the lake. As we were looking at the mountains all around us, she playfully pushed me off the side into the water. As I got back on the boat, I realized that not only was my cellphone dead, but the ring had fallen into the deep water. FML

#3904309
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73433) - you deserved it (3733)

On 07/20/2009 at 11:43am - love - by good_job_john (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I found out my class was attempting to raise money for me through a bake sale because some girl spread a false rumor that I was raped and that my father was going to disown me. The whole school believes it and my biology teacher took me aside and asked if I needed someone to confide in. FML

#3806644
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60662) - you deserved it (2683)

On 07/16/2009 at 4:32pm - misc - by dork (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was eating a croissant. After eating half of it and about to take another bite, a spider crawled out of one of the holes of flaky deliciousness and descended down a thread of web to the table, where it scuddled away. There was a whole family of them living in there. FML

#3755395
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57025) - you deserved it (3517)

On 07/14/2009 at 7:57pm - animals - by homedoggieo (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML

#3669335
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48264) - you deserved it (7990)

On 07/11/2009 at 3:38pm - intimacy - by policeopenup (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was driving home from my friend's house and noticed this really cute girl riding her bike. She had an amazing body, beautiful blonde hair and looked like my kind of girl! About 10 minutes after I got home, my sister pulled up. She had just biked home from the hair salon. FML

#3654614
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41716) - you deserved it (26801)

On 07/10/2009 at 11:41pm - misc - by roar_shark - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mum called and told me she had bought me a new, white dish washer for my apartment because it doesn't have one. I was SO excited and told her I'd pay her back as soon as I could. I only had to pay her $1.25. She bought me a sponge. FML

#3650725
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40243) - you deserved it (7829)

On 07/10/2009 at 9:09pm - money - by thanksalot (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I caught my little brother peeping at my friend getting dressed in the bathroom. When I asked him what he was doing he said "I'm just doing what Ray does to you while you're in the bathroom." Ray is my new step dad. FML

#3563535
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (125519) - you deserved it (4610)

On 07/07/2009 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Nicole (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I lost my cell phone. Since I sleep on the couch, I started looking through the cushions. I didn't find my phone, but after 6 months of uncomfortably sleeping on the couch, I find out I'm sleeping on top of a pull out bed. FML

#3550843
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16892) - you deserved it (55807)

On 07/07/2009 at 10:34am - misc - by stupid (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at the park with a friend when I said "Gotta go, sorry. I've got court in an hour." The lady on the bench next to us then loudly complained how disgusting I was for being a criminal and threw her bird seed at me, dirtying my suit. I'm a lawyer with a case in an hour, not a criminal. FML

#3457601
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49217) - you deserved it (3445)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:56pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML

#3368467
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76652) - you deserved it (11539)

On 06/30/2009 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got beaten up by my ex-girlfriend's older brother who does mixed martial arts, because my ex saw me making out with another girl. We broke up over 6 months ago. FML

#3338347
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60179) - you deserved it (4597)

On 06/29/2009 at 3:55pm - misc - by thatCanadianGuy7 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML

#3268493
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (128944) - you deserved it (9644)

On 06/27/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan



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