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oathkeeper99

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oathkeeper99

34Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 February 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5377
  • Number of comments : 79
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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oathkeeper99's page activity

Visits<b>yamcha</b> - 10 hours ago<b>BigxXxDeal</b> - yesterday at 6:20am<b>seenoevil818</b> - yesterday at 4:12am<b>Tits_N_Turbos</b> - yesterday at 4:11am<b>sunnyskys</b> - yesterday at 11:48pm<b>ADBurns</b> - yesterday at 11:26pm<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - yesterday at 11:10pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - yesterday at 11:01pm<b>khoov19</b> - yesterday at 10:33pm<b>morrisonemm_</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 6:40pm<b>corrieh</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 5:37pm<b>Stillalex</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 5:36pm<b>annihil8or</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 4:01pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 2:03pm<b>Helldemon</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 6:44am<b>kporter26</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 10:37pm<b>pgmonster</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 11:17am<b>brookb73</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 11:51pm

Liked!<b>Justified12</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 6:23am<b>rafa015</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 4:15am<b>ekimen</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 10:12am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 11:54pm<b>dudeguy1989</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 5:12pm<b>meggsann10</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 3:50pm<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 2:41pm<b>HairyPunisher</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 12:19pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 12:04pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 12:00pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 8:58pm<b>Pablo1321</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 5:37pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 4:40pm<b>badmandilon</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 5:50am<b>bbrink</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 4:37am<b>KrisLifeSucks</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 12:33am<b>rebeltw</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 5:50am<b>GhostDuck</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 9:23pm

oathkeeper99's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of oathkeeper99's badges

oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my mom was getting remarried, to my dad. He's been in prison for five years because he pushed her out a window. FML

#5116471
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56240) - you deserved it (2298)

On 09/07/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by kennedygeeee (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at my boyfriends house, meeting his family for the first time. We were all standing in the kitchen when suddenly a small white and brown mouse ran by. As a natural instinct, I stomped on it. Turns out, it was his little sister's pet mouse that had gotten out of its cage earlier. FML

#5068921
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17668) - you deserved it (47547)

On 09/05/2009 at 9:31pm - misc - by JustMyLuck (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, when my son woke up from his nap, he sleepily reached up. I picked him up and gave him a big hug, and he immediately pushed me away. He wasn't reaching for me, he was reaching for the bag of chips on the table next to me. FML

#4987188
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33544) - you deserved it (6143)

On 09/01/2009 at 10:17pm - kids - by pinks (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the mall in a store looking at movie posters. I turned around and suddenly saw a creepy guy smiling at me, holding his arms out wide. I screamed "holy shit!" really loudly, causing everyone to stop and stare at me funny. Then I realized the creepy man was a cardboard cutout. FML

#4981586
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12988) - you deserved it (42151)

On 09/01/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by becca1417 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs, I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex and afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd had great sex also. FML

#4879215
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60536) - you deserved it (4551)

On 08/28/2009 at 7:43am - intimacy - by Phoellie (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML

#4874486
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47245) - you deserved it (6346)

On 08/28/2009 at 12:41am - kids - by mariokarter (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth and laughed before she passed out. FML

#4661982
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62531) - you deserved it (4335)

On 08/19/2009 at 6:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my grandma went to get birthday gifts for my twin sister and me. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute? 'cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML

#4530948
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47421) - you deserved it (3804)

On 08/14/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by twingirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my parents decided to visit me. When I first got my apartment I gave them a key "just in case" and today they used this key to enter when I didn't answer their knocking. I didn't answer because I was having sex with my boyfriend. My parents saw everything. They didn't know I was gay. FML

Today, I found a wallet on the train. I called the owner, who said he would come around and pick it up. When he finally did, he looked inside and screamed that his money was missing, and that I was a dirty thief. I never took a cent. He's filing theft charges against me. FML

#4331157
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65297) - you deserved it (4060)

On 08/06/2009 at 9:14am - misc - by Shopgirl (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was introduced to my future stepmother, but it turns out that I already know her. Not only are we the same age and went to the same high school, when we were in the same math class together the teacher would often confuse our names because "we could pass as twins". FML

#4329050
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65545) - you deserved it (2819)

On 08/06/2009 at 4:45am - misc - by whatismydadthinking (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I was wearing a skirt, and running towards a closing elevator, making it just in time. As soon as I ran in, my pad fell out of my underwear and onto the floor. There were 6 other people in the elevator. I picked it up before I realized I had nowhere to put it, so I held it. For 18 floors. FML

#4201501
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61272) - you deserved it (9834)

On 08/01/2009 at 4:15am - misc - by Alice (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting on the train and some crazy man started talking to me. I ignored him, and he tapped on my shoulder. He started blabbing and I just pointed to my ears and mouthed "I'm deaf." He stopped talking. A minute later my phone rang and I answered it without thinking. FML

#4181466
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8525) - you deserved it (69755)

On 07/31/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, was my grandmother's funeral and we had to sing. My dad is a horrible singer, and I tried my hardest not to laugh, I turned red faced and tears were falling from my eyes. My step mother held my hand and said that she was in a better place. I couldn't hold it any longer. I laughed my ass off. FML

#4144889
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19797) - you deserved it (48198)

On 07/29/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by shewholaughsatthedead (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at my job as a flight attendant. A passenger on my plane stopped breathing and turned blue. As I cleared his airways and was busy strapping an oxygen mask to his face, the passenger behind him tried to hand me her trash. Apparently I'm a walking trash can, no matter what I'm doing. FML

#4100528
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62325) - you deserved it (2925)

On 07/28/2009 at 3:29am - work - by skygoddess (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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