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oathkeeper99

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oathkeeper99

39Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 February 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5583
  • Number of comments : 85
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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oathkeeper99's page activity

Visits<b>knightofdarkness</b> - yesterday at 5:46pm<b>Sobe_1900</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 12:37am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 6:25pm<b>Necropool</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 12:48am<b>Soninuva</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 6:05pm<b>brookb73</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 11:23pm<b>91hayek</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 10:33pm<b>Justified12</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 4:35pm<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 2:47pm<b>myexactname</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 9:23am<b>tuxedotitan</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 6:52am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 6:52am<b>jason202700</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 6:03am<b>FastFred</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 5:04am<b>RoVeR_2000</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 2:58pm<b>Riften_Guard</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 12:06am<b>Evil20071</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 1:54pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 10:36am

Fucked!<b>Evil20071</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 7:55pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 4:36pm<b>liquifiednate</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 3:36am<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 3:35am<b>tranced_</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 2:48am<b>Justified12</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 6:23am<b>rafa015</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 4:15am<b>ekimen</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 10:12am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 11:54pm<b>dudeguy1989</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 5:12pm<b>meggsann10</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 3:50pm<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 2:41pm<b>HairyPunisher</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 12:19pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 12:04pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 12:00pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 8:58pm<b>Pablo1321</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 5:37pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 4:40pm

oathkeeper99's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of oathkeeper99's badges

oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48626) - you deserved it (3940)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48626) - you deserved it (3940)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48626) - you deserved it (3940)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48626) - you deserved it (3940)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48626) - you deserved it (3940)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I sat to the right of a girl I really like. I passed her a note asking her to homecoming. She read it, then hurriedly passed it to a hideous girl sitting on her left, who said yes, then hugged me. FML

#5598991
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35759) - you deserved it (10847)

On 10/02/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by asshole (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I lent my parents a copy of "The Dark Knight", saying it was one of my favorite movies so they needed to watch it. A bit later my mom called... Apparently my roommate wanted to watch it as well, but couldn't find the case to his porno and decided to just use the Batman case instead. FML

#5585947
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37473) - you deserved it (5216)

On 10/01/2009 at 3:46pm - misc - by Broly171 (man) - United States (Iowa) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year old son came up to me and asked if he can "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereals. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML

#5560413
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33374) - you deserved it (3665)

On 09/30/2009 at 1:17am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I had a restraining order put on me. I have apparently been following a woman's daughter home after she leaves track practice and parking my car outside their home. I'm a math teacher at the school and leave everyday at 4:30. I have lived across the street for the past six years. FML

#5505995
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48728) - you deserved it (2122)

On 09/27/2009 at 1:24pm - misc - by stalker (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I pulled a bee off of my friend's dog because we were worried he could be allergic. Of course I got stung, and of course the dog wasn't allergic. Turns out I am. FML

#5463799
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36131) - you deserved it (4970)

On 09/25/2009 at 9:09am - health - by boomstick (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was trying to look cute in front of this really nice guy. I sure hope he thinks smacking into a pole, rebounding backwards and knocking over an old man is cute. FML

#5325412
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13480) - you deserved it (30260)

On 09/18/2009 at 12:14am - love - by mudafkrmas (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got my period. 10 minutes into a 3 hour exam. Apparently they are serious when they say you may not leave the room under any circumstances. FML

#5310287
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54673) - you deserved it (3621)

On 09/17/2009 at 9:59am - health - by cramps (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me. Why? Our one month old's hair is growing in blonde, and we both have dark hair. Did I cheat? No. I had blonde hair as a child until I was 4... As did every one else born in my family. I guess this factor doesn't count when you're paranoid. FML

#5249359
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50511) - you deserved it (5069)

On 09/14/2009 at 10:13am - love - by babymomma (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went on a romantic date to the mountains to look a stars with a boy I had just met. We started kissing and he stopped, asking if it was rude for him to take me home now. After getting dropped off, he texted me saying we could never do that again and we should never talk about it. FML

#5210857
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44914) - you deserved it (4994)

On 09/12/2009 at 5:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I got out of the shower to find my cat staring up at me. Apparently my swinging penis looks like a cat toy to her, so she jumped up and clawed and tried to bite it. FML

#5189788
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41257) - you deserved it (6736)

On 09/11/2009 at 4:46pm - animals - by ouchh (man) - United States (California)



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