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oathkeeper99

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oathkeeper99

9Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 February 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4259
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today, I put my hamster in his ball, and spent about an hour cleaning his cage. When I came back, I realized he wasn't even alive. FML

#8189417
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22323) - you deserved it (6508)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:04am - animals - by Chris - United States (California)

Today, I was riding the bus. Suddenly, it appeared to start to snow inside the bus, and I assumed a window was open. When I looked up however, I discovered the girl in front of me putting her hair up in a ponytail. The so-called "snow" was coming off of her head. FML

#8176848
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26429) - you deserved it (1810)

On 02/12/2010 at 7:04pm - misc - by ummmmEW - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years saw baby wipes in my bathroom and assumed I had a kid. He broke up with me. I use baby wipes to take off my makeup. FML

#7972550
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31756) - you deserved it (3106)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:41pm - love - by notababymama (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after a 9 hour train journey through the Polish mountains, I mistook a small black and white cat for a penguin. FML

#7753141
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6267) - you deserved it (23304)

On 01/31/2010 at 7:21pm - animals - by saintmichi (woman) - Poland (Malopolskie)

Today, after a 9 hour train journey through the Polish mountains, I mistook a small black and white cat for a penguin. FML

#7753141
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6267) - you deserved it (23304)

On 01/31/2010 at 7:21pm - animals - by saintmichi (woman) - Poland (Malopolskie)

Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there, someone put a gun to the back of my head and told me to give him all my money. As I slowly turned around, I saw it was my dad putting a banana to my head. FML

#7700878
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34876) - you deserved it (5060)

On 01/30/2010 at 8:16am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took my 8 year old nephew to Laser Tag for his birthday party. I reluctantly was forced into playing one game. Apparently, no one explained the rules to one child and instead of 'shooting' me with his laser pointer, he kicked me straight in the balls. FML

#7694418
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27594) - you deserved it (3121)

On 01/30/2010 at 12:40am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after having been a vegetarian for 8 years because I'm opposed to cruelty to animals, I lost a bet and had to eat a whole cheeseburger. I loved it. FML

#7666116
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10482) - you deserved it (51957)

On 01/29/2010 at 2:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my headphones were broken, so I fixed them with super glue. Without thinking, I stuck them in my ear and listened to some music. When it came time to take them out, I couldn't. FML

#7644326
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8044) - you deserved it (46710)

On 01/28/2010 at 3:25pm - misc - by Lance (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that if you slip on ice, imitating Mario from Super Mario Bros when he attempts to stop himself slipping, won't work in real life. I now have a broken nose, as well as a blood trail running from my driveway into my kitchen. FML

#7568710
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7704) - you deserved it (27995)

On 01/25/2010 at 1:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend isn't gay. Apparently, I just give good head. FML

#7538814
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24534) - you deserved it (6588)

On 01/24/2010 at 3:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML

#7490494
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65690) - you deserved it (4242)

On 01/22/2010 at 12:02am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was dissecting a pig for my anatomy class. The smell of four day-old dead pig caused me to faint. My mom drove me home and warmed me up some left overs for lunch. It was pork chops. FML

#7339012
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26845) - you deserved it (3766)

On 01/14/2010 at 2:41pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML

#7264134
387 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33182) - you deserved it (9774)

On 01/10/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by coinoperatedgirl (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML

#7232950
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20808) - you deserved it (5415)

On 01/09/2010 at 8:25am - intimacy - by ohdeargodthatswrong (woman) - United Kingdom (London)



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