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oathkeeper99

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oathkeeper99

71Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Birmingham, United Kingdom
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 February 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6708
  • Number of comments : 96
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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oathkeeper99's page activity

Visits<b>xxthechosenguyxx</b> - 3 hours ago<b>Mr_Plague</b> - 5 hours ago<b>Artigedude65</b> - 12 hours ago<b>dcam13</b> - 16 hours ago<b>rjc490</b> - 17 hours ago<b>beeferjay</b> - 17 hours ago<b>Jorge25</b> - 19 hours ago<b>7raib</b> - yesterday at 4:50pm<b>XPiemaster</b> - yesterday at 12:37pm<b>CliffPaul</b> - yesterday at 12:27am<b>thatlooksweird7</b> - yesterday at 11:18pm<b>tanner_crozier</b> - yesterday at 10:42pm<b>black_day</b> - yesterday at 9:13pm<b>KyleTheBoss95</b> - yesterday at 8:28pm<b>philsh94</b> - yesterday at 7:59pm<b>gary8082</b> - yesterday at 7:55pm<b>carebear1228</b> - yesterday at 7:16pm<b>SquealingMoose</b> - yesterday at 7:00pm

Fucked!<b>dcam13</b> - 10 hours ago<b>gshocker20</b> - yesterday at 6:48pm<b>sandman676</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 3:34pm<b>rylaii</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 11:39pm<b>DayDay98</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 2:10pm<b>lolol123</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:49pm<b>WilliamMurderfac</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 3:17pm<b>NateC27</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 7:53am<b>tiwan</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:07am<b>connaughty0225</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 3:42am<b>dracolich</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 12:47am<b>joely_nathan</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 6:59pm<b>ajt525</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 4:25pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 4:23pm<b>jorgsan</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 4:19pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 3:25pm<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 3:07pm<b>python199</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 1:07pm

oathkeeper99's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of oathkeeper99's badges

oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

#9416886
396 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49239) - you deserved it (9637)

On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

#9070560
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26243) - you deserved it (10827)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to IHOP for breakfast. As we were leaving, I realized a little girl took my Hello Kitty hairclip. For the next 5 minutes, I fought with an 8 year-old for a hairclip. She won. FML

#9043466
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11794) - you deserved it (26419)

On 03/13/2010 at 10:13am - misc - by googoogaga (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML

#8894345
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33725) - you deserved it (3021)

On 03/07/2010 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by woopdeedo_1 (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, my step-mom yelled at me for an hour, calling me a slut because our male dog saw me naked. FML

Today, at the supermarket, I ignored the "Riding on trolleys down the ramp is strictly prohibited" sign. While going full speed down the ramp, my trolley with $200 worth of groceries in it tipped and crashed. Luckily, I broke its fall. FML

#8509924
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4907) - you deserved it (42635)

On 02/21/2010 at 6:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I put my hamster in his ball, and spent about an hour cleaning his cage. When I came back, I realized he wasn't even alive. FML

#8189417
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22506) - you deserved it (6532)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:04am - animals - by Chris - United States (California)

Today, I was riding the bus. Suddenly, it appeared to start to snow inside the bus, and I assumed a window was open. When I looked up however, I discovered the girl in front of me putting her hair up in a ponytail. The so-called "snow" was coming off of her head. FML

#8176848
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26599) - you deserved it (1821)

On 02/12/2010 at 7:04pm - misc - by ummmmEW - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years saw baby wipes in my bathroom and assumed I had a kid. He broke up with me. I use baby wipes to take off my makeup. FML

#7972550
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31936) - you deserved it (3124)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:41pm - love - by notababymama (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after a 9 hour train journey through the Polish mountains, I mistook a small black and white cat for a penguin. FML

#7753141
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6313) - you deserved it (23470)

On 01/31/2010 at 7:21pm - animals - by saintmichi (woman) - Poland (Malopolskie)

Today, after a 9 hour train journey through the Polish mountains, I mistook a small black and white cat for a penguin. FML

#7753141
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6313) - you deserved it (23470)

On 01/31/2010 at 7:21pm - animals - by saintmichi (woman) - Poland (Malopolskie)

Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there, someone put a gun to the back of my head and told me to give him all my money. As I slowly turned around, I saw it was my dad putting a banana to my head. FML

#7700878
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35091) - you deserved it (5067)

On 01/30/2010 at 8:16am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took my 8 year old nephew to Laser Tag for his birthday party. I reluctantly was forced into playing one game. Apparently, no one explained the rules to one child and instead of 'shooting' me with his laser pointer, he kicked me straight in the balls. FML

#7694418
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28806) - you deserved it (3212)

On 01/30/2010 at 12:40am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after having been a vegetarian for 8 years because I'm opposed to cruelty to animals, I lost a bet and had to eat a whole cheeseburger. I loved it. FML

#7666116
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11852) - you deserved it (54729)

On 01/29/2010 at 2:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my headphones were broken, so I fixed them with super glue. Without thinking, I stuck them in my ear and listened to some music. When it came time to take them out, I couldn't. FML

#7644326
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8987) - you deserved it (49759)

On 01/28/2010 at 3:25pm - misc - by Lance (man) - United States (Texas)



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