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oathkeeper99

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oathkeeper99

71Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Birmingham, United Kingdom
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 February 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6699
  • Number of comments : 96
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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oathkeeper99's page activity

Visits<b>dcam13</b> - 58 minutes ago<b>rjc490</b> - one hour ago<b>beeferjay</b> - 2 hours ago<b>Jorge25</b> - 4 hours ago<b>7raib</b> - 10 hours ago<b>XPiemaster</b> - 14 hours ago<b>CliffPaul</b> - yesterday at 12:27am<b>thatlooksweird7</b> - yesterday at 11:18pm<b>tanner_crozier</b> - yesterday at 10:42pm<b>black_day</b> - yesterday at 9:13pm<b>KyleTheBoss95</b> - yesterday at 8:28pm<b>philsh94</b> - yesterday at 7:59pm<b>gary8082</b> - yesterday at 7:55pm<b>carebear1228</b> - yesterday at 7:16pm<b>SquealingMoose</b> - yesterday at 7:00pm<b>Wondermage</b> - yesterday at 6:50pm<b>Zaketh2112</b> - yesterday at 6:38pm<b>vegemute</b> - yesterday at 5:19pm

Fucked!<b>dcam13</b> - just now<b>gshocker20</b> - yesterday at 6:48pm<b>sandman676</b> - yesterday at 3:34pm<b>rylaii</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 11:39pm<b>DayDay98</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 2:10pm<b>lolol123</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:49pm<b>WilliamMurderfac</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 3:17pm<b>NateC27</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 7:53am<b>tiwan</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:07am<b>connaughty0225</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 3:42am<b>dracolich</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 12:47am<b>joely_nathan</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 6:59pm<b>ajt525</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 4:25pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 4:23pm<b>jorgsan</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 4:19pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 3:25pm<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 3:07pm<b>python199</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 1:07pm

oathkeeper99's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

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oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working customer service at a large grocery store. I recently got a small, tasteful septum piercing that is barely visible. As I greeted a customer, she began to gag, held out her hand as though she was fending me off, and said, "I can't. Your nose ring makes me sick." FML

#21437504
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20675) - you deserved it (8516)

On 07/06/2015 at 5:37pm - work - by a_dani365 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I caught my teenage daughter doing her laundry for the first time ever. She had piles of black and white, but then she threw them together in the washing machine. I told her blacks and whites were supposed to be separate, but she just said, "End the segregation, mom." FML

#21392458
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30116) - you deserved it (5474)

On 04/12/2015 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was outside with my two new kittens. A woman came rushing over, saying how glad she was that they were outside. She then started complaining that she had only been able to see them through the windows previously. I have no idea who she is or where she lives. FML

#21389096
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31150) - you deserved it (2218)

On 04/07/2015 at 3:14am - animals - by cat.imakittycat. (woman) - New Zealand (Taranaki)

Today, I went to get a physical, forgetting I'd shaved my pubes the day before and still had bad razor burn. My doctor told me I had "dicken pox" and was prescribing me with shaving cream. FML

Today, I saw my grandma had registered on Facebook, so I wrote a welcome post on her wall. She replied "Delete." several times, then called me, accusing me of "hacking" her and demanding that I remove my name from her page at once. FML

#21364671
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29789) - you deserved it (2670)

On 02/27/2015 at 3:20pm - misc - by Y_Y (man) - United States

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29927) - you deserved it (7911)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I had to decline the sale of alcohol to a man who reeked of booze and was practically falling asleep at my till. He tried to convince me that he wasn't drunk, he was just blind. Still refusing to sell him the beer, he started yelling at me, accusing me of "being racist against the 'blinds'". FML

#21256123
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38027) - you deserved it (3003)

On 09/11/2014 at 2:49am - work - by PerfectVision (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

#21255419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44926) - you deserved it (13099)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I drove an hour to a friend's wedding. Realizing I was too early, I sat in my car at a gas station and watched The Office to kill time. I walked in to see the newly married couple escorting the last few rows out. I had been told the wrong time and the wedding was over. FML

Today, I went on a job interview. The interviewer said it all went well, but he can't hire me because I've got a nose piercing, and that type of "image" isn't the kind they're looking for in their employees. This is the guy who had a full sleeve tattoo. FML

#21200605
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43322) - you deserved it (7206)

On 07/06/2014 at 2:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

#21195046
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53132) - you deserved it (4547)

On 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm - love - by carebear1228 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my students turned in their male figure artwork. One absolute idiot had the smart idea of drawing me and the TA as some kind of gay lovers. I was torn between disgust at the explicitness, anger at the disrespect, and yet awe at how well-drawn it was. FML

#21165062
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42954) - you deserved it (6239)

On 06/06/2014 at 3:00pm - work - by confusing (man) - Zimbabwe

Today, at work I had to explain to a client that male dogs can wear red collars and it doesn't make them "gay". The client then got angry and stormed out of the store, causing me to get written up. FML

#21153154
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43470) - you deserved it (4541)

On 05/27/2014 at 7:15am - animals - by Holyguacamoly (woman) - Iceland

Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML

#21139954
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46362) - you deserved it (6797)

On 05/14/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by oh god. - Canada (Alberta)



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