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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, after being diagnosed with cat allergies, I explained to my cat-loving boyfriend that the doctor strongly recommended not allowing the cat in the bedroom. At 1:30 am my boyfriend got out of the bed to go sleep in the spare room because: "the cat is sad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42127) - you deserved it (5745)
On 05/23/2009 at 12:07pm - love - by Ames (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was lining a soccer field. I had the entire grid laid out, so I began to paint with a handheld cart. I finished the entire field without looking back once. I forgot to put paint in the cart. I walked around a field for an hour painting with air. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9986) - you deserved it (43544)
On 05/23/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by onlyme (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (144606) - you deserved it (13076)
On 05/23/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by honeymoondisaster (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML
I agree, your life sucks (60378) - you deserved it (2061)
On 05/18/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by emoney (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, the man I was going to dinner with got me the most expensive necklace. We got to the table he had reserved when his friend comes and sits with us. Somehow the subject of getting it on comes up. My date then says "expensive jewelry - one way ticket to her pants". FML
I agree, your life sucks (42169) - you deserved it (4521)
On 05/18/2009 at 12:46pm - love - by Anonymous - Egypt (Al Qahirah)
Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (58553) - you deserved it (5957)
On 05/18/2009 at 8:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him "Hey, I like your balls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11383) - you deserved it (39141)
On 05/18/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by nothing (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was pulling my trolley luggage at the airport when I passed 2 cute girls smiling at me. Thinking I looked real cool, I kept on walking without paying heed to anything else. Then my brother shouted asking me what was I doing, only to realise that the handle had come off a few metres back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7425) - you deserved it (26443)
On 05/15/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by NotSoCool (man) - Singapore
Today, I bought my mom a gift certificate for a spa treatment for two so we could spend some quality time together. She took my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51468) - you deserved it (2188)
On 05/10/2009 at 2:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I was supposed to catch a 4:40 flight to New York. My 5 year old son handed me my carry on bag as I left the house. Turns out he had put his older brother's BB gun into my bag to "keep me safe." I missed my flight after I was detained and strip-searched. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50097) - you deserved it (4171)
On 05/10/2009 at 1:05am - kids - by sucksforme. (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to the zoo with a guy I like, when we were there we saw a swarm of bees. I told him that if I got stung he would have to watch me because my dad is deathly allergic to bees and I have never been stung. Jokingly, he nudged me into the bush and said "let's see". We did. I'm allergic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49300) - you deserved it (3740)
On 05/09/2009 at 11:38pm - health - by busybee (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46670) - you deserved it (3937)
On 05/07/2009 at 8:39am - love - by TrulyYours (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52123) - you deserved it (1740)
On 05/06/2009 at 9:43pm - misc - by Gumfanatic302 (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (81663) - you deserved it (15874)
On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my boss asked me to pick up some supplies for a presentation. I entered the store in the middle of an armed robbery, was knocked to the floor, and had my cash, phone and credit cards stolen. When I told my boss the story, she said, "So were you able to get the binder clips?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (52301) - you deserved it (1937)
On 05/06/2009 at 12:52am - work - by Jay (man) - United States (Missouri)
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