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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, we got our progress reports. My physics teacher wrote that I don't participate in class. My mom got mad and grounded me before I could tell her that I raise my hand in class all the time but my teacher won't call on me cause he can't pronounce my name. FML
Today, while brushing my teeth my 5 year old son walks into the bathroom. He gave me a mean look and said, "That Sammy's toothbrush, not yours." I have been brushing my teeth with the dog's toothbrush for two months now. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house so I texted my cousin to come over and help me get in. She came over, stood on a chair and lifted me through the smallest unlocked window possible. Sadly, this was my bathroom window and I ended up head-first into my toilet. FML
Today, I took my car into the shop to get a minor problem fixed. I left several hours later, without my car. Why? The mechanic crashed it while out on a test drive to make sure he'd fixed the problem. FML
Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML
Today, I had a soccer game. A player from the other team hit me in the face. In the next half, she was the goalie and I was determined to score on her. When I finally got my chance to, everyone cheered, until I kicked the ball into the goal post and it bounced back and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I parked in front of a grocery store and took the portable GPS system off the mount on the dashboard and put it in my pocket so no one would break into my car and steal it. When I got back, the window was smashed and someone had stolen the plastic mount. FML
Today, I was putting my horse away into her pasture, when I slipped in the mud. In a haisty attempt to support myself, I grabbed the electric fence in on hand, and my horse with the other. The shock from the fence traveled through me to her, sending her running and leaving me with 2 broken teeth. FML
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
Monday 1 September 2014