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null
  • Town/Country : -, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 15 November 1988 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 39698
  • Number of comments : 1039
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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null's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized I've been acting very paranoid lately. I was mugged a few weeks ago, so I've been nervous. I've been holding my hands in my pockets and looking around on my way outside from work. Apparently, that's grounds to arrest someone under suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon. FML

#5773283
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29264) - you deserved it (2600)

On 10/11/2009 at 9:21am - misc - by PackingSpaceHeat (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML

#5762381
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7476) - you deserved it (39945)

On 10/10/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by BEE (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to chase my dog all the way down the street, watching in horror as she proudly showed all of my neighbors my bra. FML

#5761778
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22899) - you deserved it (4334)

On 10/10/2009 at 5:53pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking out of class when I saw a girl enthusiastically run to her boyfriend, jump on him, and smother him with kisses. I thought to myself "I wish my girlfriend did that." When the girl jumped off and turned around I realized she did, just not to me. FML

#5689238
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49822) - you deserved it (2313)

On 10/06/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by zitroskies (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45838) - you deserved it (3717)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my english teacher asked me why I didn't have my project completed. Thinking quick on my feet I told her it was because my grandmother had just passed away. Apparently they go to the same country club and have known each other for years. My teacher started crying and ran out of the room. FML

#5607225
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6079) - you deserved it (51429)

On 10/02/2009 at 5:07pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I sat to the right of a girl I really like. I passed her a note asking her to homecoming. She read it, then hurriedly passed it to a hideous girl sitting on her left, who said yes, then hugged me. FML

#5598991
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31296) - you deserved it (9745)

On 10/02/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by asshole (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while cleaning up, I dropped a box of thumbtacks, spilling them all over the floor. As I fumbled to pick them up, the power went out. FML

#5589145
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41855) - you deserved it (3113)

On 10/01/2009 at 6:31pm - misc - by Ouchies (woman) - United States (Florida) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I was on my computer when the girl that I really like instant-messages me. I went to type back, accidentally pressed control-V, and posted an entire article on how to remove genital warts. FML

#5579268
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10870) - you deserved it (31335)

On 10/01/2009 at 1:58am - health - by Garrett (man) - United States (Oregon) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I had a big exam. 20 minutes in I could feel people turning round looking at me. I ignored them at first, but towards the one hour mark it got more distracting. I stood up and yelled "Why's everyone staring at me!" I got kicked out. Turns out I was seated directly in front of the clock. FML

#5563519
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7865) - you deserved it (42524)

On 09/30/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by failfailfail - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I learned that if you're going to tell your mother you are gay, make sure she isn't holding a frying pan filled with hot grease. FML

#5530332
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54270) - you deserved it (12776)

On 09/28/2009 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen my debit card and maxed it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to change the address on the card, so everything they bought online has been shipped to me. The bad news? I've received 16 snuggies so far, and I'm still counting. FML

#5529870
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39656) - you deserved it (2973)

On 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm - money - by SnuggieOverload (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I learned that the gap between the elevator and the 6th floor landing of my apartment building is approximately one key's width wide. FML

#5525122
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36628) - you deserved it (2995)

On 09/28/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML

#5515193
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45051) - you deserved it (4449)

On 09/27/2009 at 9:16pm - love - by screwwyou (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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