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ntello11

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ntello11

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  • Number of visits : 62
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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ntello11's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my boyfriend that, due to my low self-confidence, all my bras are push-ups. He yelled, "EVERYTHING I KNEW IS A LIE" and stormed out. FML

#20850669
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43534) - you deserved it (10843)

On 08/23/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54802) - you deserved it (6341)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I learned if you type my full name in Google Images, the 3rd thing that comes up is a naked woman in ropes. Someone on Pornhub thought it was smart to comment that the girl looks just like me. She does. Now my parents think I'm a porn star, and most people at school stopped talking to me. FML

#20662282
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63682) - you deserved it (4979)

On 05/14/2013 at 12:15am - intimacy - by magomag (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32738) - you deserved it (112090)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, while working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good... you left a nipple..." and slowly licked it off. FML

#20536585
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29860) - you deserved it (3246)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:06am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48645) - you deserved it (7735)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my extremely lazy roommate is in bed with the flu. Instead of getting up to get water, he's run the garden hose through his window, and instead of going to the bathroom, he's connected a siphon to his penis and run it to a 5-gallon bucket. I have to live with this idiot. FML

#14626510
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31876) - you deserved it (4680)

On 01/18/2011 at 1:35pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was talking with some of my friends who are girls. They were all complaining about how there was no good boys left to ask to the Sadie Hawkins Dance. Hoping for an invite I mentioned I was still availiable. They just laughed at me and invited me to come dress shopping with them. FML

#18079
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37321) - you deserved it (4048)

On 02/09/2009 at 6:47pm - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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