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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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nr790

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nr790
  • Town/Country : Sydney, Australia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 November 1991 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 3505
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About nr790 : The best thing since sliced bread.

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nr790's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at my job at an old folks home, and I was cleaning off a table when one old lady looks up at me and says "I've been a dirty dirty girl" in a seductive tone, I thought she meant about the table so I said "yes you have" then she winked at me, I walked away fast. FML

#2824083 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (37633) - you deserved it (6530)

On 06/12/2009 at 3:53am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had a date with this really cute guy. He invited me over to make dinner at his place. Eventually we end up in his bedroom to have sex. He pulls down my panties and says, "You need to shave that shit." FML

#2734034 (457)

I agree, your life sucks (44925) - you deserved it (48038)

On 06/09/2009 at 1:27am - intimacy - by lagirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my wife talking in her sleep, "No Brandon! I don't want to have sex!" My wife won't have sex with me when she's awake OR in her dreams. FML

#2697150 (194)

I agree, your life sucks (62000) - you deserved it (4185)

On 06/07/2009 at 5:49pm - intimacy - by BW (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, someone left a note on my car, saying "You're gorgeous. Call me. #######." I called the number and they said they saw me in the store I was in, telling me "You were the ONLY attractive person in there." We decided to meet up. He walks over, I say hi, he says "I think I put my number on the wrong car." FML

#2684779 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (45803) - you deserved it (4704)

On 06/07/2009 at 5:23am - misc - by apparentlyunattractive (woman) - United States

Today, at work, my ipod was stolen from my desk when I was away. I work in a police station. FML

#2654949 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (56925) - you deserved it (5526)

On 06/06/2009 at 7:18am - work - by foretwintie (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room... where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML

#2637147 (336)

I agree, your life sucks (15336) - you deserved it (50722)

On 06/05/2009 at 5:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML

#2636104 (286)

I agree, your life sucks (47279) - you deserved it (3424)

On 06/05/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Staden Kobenhavn)

Today, my kitten was playing with the drawstring on my pajama pants. He then jumped, clinging on to my crotch. I screamed in pain, which scared him and made him hold on tighter. My cat was literally hanging from my vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off. FML

#2349846 (336)

I agree, your life sucks (49262) - you deserved it (5363)

On 05/27/2009 at 6:44pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML

#2137630 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (41713) - you deserved it (1460)

On 05/21/2009 at 3:31am - misc - by verycre8tive (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, the three-year-old I was babysitting asked me where my boyfriend was. I told her he was at his house. I'm twenty and single. I lied to a three year old to make myself look less pathetic. FML

#2136862 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (35307) - you deserved it (8702)

On 05/21/2009 at 2:21am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad told me about how my mother had a bad dream last night and began to scream "Don't take me, take my children!" FML

#2116644 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (53131) - you deserved it (2396)

On 05/20/2009 at 4:49pm - misc - by lm (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was home alone while my mom went out to dinner. I decided to hop in the shower, and I noticed my mom left her douche in there. After, I texted her telling her what I found and that it was gross. Her response? "It's not gross. It came from my vagina, like you and your sister." FML

#1040917 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (38599) - you deserved it (16282)

On 04/16/2009 at 11:08pm - health - by duuuuude (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was in an elevator with my brother and a woman. He signs to me that she has a 'damn fine ass'. I chuckle and then shake my head. He shrugs. A second later the woman signs to us, 'Rick, don't you remember me?' Turns out she helped teach my brother sign language when he was six. FML

#434812 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (35013) - you deserved it (18668)

On 03/18/2009 at 3:59am - misc - by elevator-troubles (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. I minimized the porn on my laptop so she wouldn't see I was watching it. It turns out I was watching an old Beatles concert before I started masturbating. My mom thought I was masturbating to the Beatles. FML

#267368 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (19090) - you deserved it (62053)

On 03/11/2009 at 12:42am - intimacy - by theassman (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938 (1736)

I agree, your life sucks (362983) - you deserved it (401331)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)