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npereira

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  • Number of visits : 1392
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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npereira's page activity

Visits<b>beanzz0501</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 10:50pm<b>keeg14</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 10:58am<b>perdix</b> - the 09/22/2012 at 10:54am<b>Dblocker</b> - the 08/29/2012 at 1:43pm<b>Tvolsfan325</b> - the 07/21/2012 at 4:20pm

npereira's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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npereira's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
509 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131952) - you deserved it (7354)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, I received a friend request on Facebook from my biological father, who I have never met in my life. As I was scrolling through his hobbies and interests, I saw "Drinking," "Black women with big asses," and "Getting laid, lol." FML

#16344639
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46099) - you deserved it (3502)

On 05/25/2011 at 4:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I actually heard my 14 year old son muse to himself, "If I can drive drunk in Grand Theft Auto, how hard could it be in real life?" FML

#15935332
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39152) - you deserved it (12199)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:20pm - kids - by nomorexbox - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was in the emergency room. The doctor told me that my injuries and back problems are the intensity of those after a car accident. I slipped on a grape. FML

#15691583
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35329) - you deserved it (4942)

On 04/08/2011 at 6:35am - health - by ridella -

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42626) - you deserved it (12790)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was at a new shopping mall. After an hour, I desperately needed to use the bathroom. Spotting one, I ran inside, locked myself in a cubicle and relieved myself. The toilet paper was out so I knocked on the cubicle beside me to ask for some. A lady's voice answered. She needed some too. FML

#11825114
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31191) - you deserved it (4973)

On 07/12/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by Wrongtoilet (man) - Singapore

Today, while drinking at a bar with my girlfriend, my ex-girlfriend who I've been seeing on the side walked straight up to her, introducing herself as "the ex-girlfriend that he's been sleeping with for the past 3 months." FML

Today, I was at a concert and an older man offered to let me stand in front of him because I'm short. It wasn't until the show started and people were jumping around did I realize he had a boner and was repeatedly bumping into me. FML

#8765268
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22242) - you deserved it (2502)

On 03/02/2010 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Lin - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have a little "fun" in our secluded backyard. It was only after we had finished that we noticed the three little girls, who live next door, jumping up and down on their trampoline, with their mouths wide open. FML

Today, I found out that my whole family thinks my girlfriend is imaginary. I sent her a text in front of them telling her that. She never responded. FML

#5386120
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42804) - you deserved it (5305)

On 09/21/2009 at 12:16am - love - by Imaginary girlfriend - Sent from mobile version

Today, it was my birthday. My parents came into my room at 12:01 to surprise me. Do you know what fifteen year olds do at midnight? FML

#4734669
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43939) - you deserved it (22546)

On 08/22/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by urmommmm (man) - United States (New York)

Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML

#4696975
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58763) - you deserved it (3401)

On 08/21/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was playing catch with my 6 year old cousin in the garden, when he demanded a piggy back. Trying to be the good cousin, I did so and he soon shouts "Run! Run!" so I do so. Suddenly he shouts "STOP! My winky's gone pointy". I gave my 6 year old cousin an erection. FML

#4637795
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56538) - you deserved it (4700)

On 08/18/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by Girl - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my wife and I decided to try a relationship book. The first activity was to write down some things your partner does that bothers you. I made a very long list, then my wife and I swapped papers. She'd written, "nothing, I love everything about you." She read my list and began tearing up. FML

#3648052
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24791) - you deserved it (65782)

On 07/10/2009 at 7:18pm - love - by failhusband (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I went to my friend's house for the first time. As I was pulling up, I called him and asked him if I could use his bathroom. He told me to just go in the back and use it, so i did. As i'm sitting on the toilet, someone knocks on the door and asks me who I am. It wasn't my friend's house. FML

#3645311
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52198) - you deserved it (10995)

On 07/10/2009 at 5:22pm - misc - by whitewater_al (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



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