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npereira

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  • Number of visits : 1389
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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npereira's page activity

Visits<b>beanzz0501</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 10:50pm<b>keeg14</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 10:58am<b>perdix</b> - the 09/22/2012 at 10:54am<b>Dblocker</b> - the 08/29/2012 at 1:43pm<b>Tvolsfan325</b> - the 07/21/2012 at 4:20pm

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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npereira's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

#19486028
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38310) - you deserved it (3604)

On 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by lindsaykay - United States

Today, my son had to call me from his school's principal's office because he was disrupting his health class by laughing whenever the teacher said "sex". My son is 16. FML

#19453519
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23898) - you deserved it (3641)

On 04/12/2012 at 12:18am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while I was getting out of the shower, I saw a spider climb into the ceiling vent. Wanting it to come out so I could kill it, I turned on the fan. It came out, along with a dozen of its friends. FML

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML

#19136346
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34148) - you deserved it (4989)

On 02/22/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
216 comments

Today, I received a string of blank texts from an unknown number. When I asked who it was, I got a list of every place I've been over the last three days. I'm scared to leave the house. FML

#18760852
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41640) - you deserved it (2235)

On 01/09/2012 at 9:34pm - misc - by liLbob6598 - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was taking people's orders at the drive-thru. I was confused as to why people were screaming their orders at me, until one of my managers handed me a paper that he'd found taped to the menu, saying "speak loudly speaker isn't working properly." Punkd. FML

#18649632
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23647) - you deserved it (2867)

On 12/30/2011 at 12:38am - work - by Ashton Sprunger - United States

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

#18467751
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42288) - you deserved it (5143)

On 12/09/2011 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Aly (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML

#18334603
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45063) - you deserved it (7023)

On 11/24/2011 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Faithful - Singapore

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35919) - you deserved it (18861)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years felt comfortable enough with me to disclose that he had previously spent 4 years in a mental institute because he tried to kill his mother. He also told me we will be together forever. I'm scared. FML

#18005142
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52715) - you deserved it (4882)

On 10/17/2011 at 6:02am - love - by bubba - China

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44946) - you deserved it (5041)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML

#17668852
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28117) - you deserved it (4244)

On 09/05/2011 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML

#17298828
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29755) - you deserved it (5741)

On 07/29/2011 at 3:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML

#17131113
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35441) - you deserved it (5491)

On 07/16/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada



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