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npereira

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npereira

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  • Number of visits : 1393
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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npereira's page activity

Visits<b>beanzz0501</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 10:50pm<b>keeg14</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 10:58am<b>perdix</b> - the 09/22/2012 at 10:54am<b>Dblocker</b> - the 08/29/2012 at 1:43pm<b>Tvolsfan325</b> - the 07/21/2012 at 4:20pm

npereira's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of npereira's badges

npereira's favorite FMLs

Today, I was renovating the house, and my girlfriend asked, "Do you use electrical tape on electrical stuff?" Not knowing where she was going with this, I just gave her a puzzled look. She continued by saying, "Because it's not like people use duct tape on ducks." FML

#20158312
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20433) - you deserved it (2829)

On 11/11/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Danny - United States (Utah)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

#20144826
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28472) - you deserved it (2932)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by for fuck sake dad (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML

#20142541
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30681) - you deserved it (6499)

On 11/01/2012 at 3:54am - intimacy - by okay._. - United States (California)

Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML

#20127252
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5900) - you deserved it (51010)

On 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML

#20115322
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29147) - you deserved it (3645)

On 10/13/2012 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33280) - you deserved it (3459)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML

#20088535
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21399) - you deserved it (1483)

On 09/25/2012 at 7:20pm - misc - by PerpetuallyHappy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother found a hickey on my neck. Not believing that it was from the hungry 2-month-old child I was holding, she confronted my boyfriend about it. He promptly accused me of cheating. FML

#20086696
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24103) - you deserved it (2185)

On 09/24/2012 at 3:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she had gotten sick lately, but I accidentally sent a text asking if she had gotten dick lately. FML

#20054615
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27743) - you deserved it (4621)

On 09/02/2012 at 7:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend got a new tattoo. It was a big tattoo of Pikachu on his hip. I told him now I'd feel like I was having sex with an 8-year-old boy. His defense? "No, no, think of it as having sex with Pikachu!" He still refuses to understand why that's weird. FML

#20050023
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24541) - you deserved it (4889)

On 08/30/2012 at 9:08pm - intimacy - by Kat (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my wife and I got in a 4-hour heated argument which resulted in her begging for a divorce and admitting that she cheated on me. This all started with us arguing about the instructions for our new IKEA table. FML

#20043524
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27040) - you deserved it (1953)

On 08/26/2012 at 10:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

#20037909
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35765) - you deserved it (10432) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version

Today, the man who tried to mug me sent me a friend request on Facebook. FML

#20035075
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29384) - you deserved it (1720)

On 08/22/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I ordered ramen to go. I looked at my order and discovered a cockroach. Disgusted, I showed it to them, and they apologized by "replacing" it for free. Later on, while I was enjoying the delicious food, I once again discovered a cockroach buried under all the noodles. FML

#20024282
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27502) - you deserved it (6004)

On 08/16/2012 at 10:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Armed Forces Pacific)



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