notsorandomguy

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Offline (the 08/02/2016 at 7:26am)

notsorandomguy

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 30 August 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1611
  • Number of comments : 138
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About notsorandomguy : Hi. If you're reading this, I'd appreciate if you could rate my randomness on a scale of 1. Have a good day!
PS: You can try messaging me, but I'm usually on the app.

notsorandomguy's page activity

Visits<b>halcyon93</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 4:13am<b>zman8881</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 9:43am<b>Frowny</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 12:03am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 1:50pm<b>HealthKitt</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 3:46am<b>breebousquett</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 11:16pm<b>Hop6e</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 12:59am<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 2:25pm<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 12:43am<b>Sangogames</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 3:09pm<b>TheMilkman98</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 2:34pm<b>winterbaby19</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 1:55pm<b>jsb1426</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 1:29pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 6:56am<b>cmonger</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 7:04pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 1:09am<b>annamarie16</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 10:11am<b>Allornone</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:20pm

Fucked!<b>HealthKitt</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 9:46am<b>Hop6e</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 6:59am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 12:56pm

notsorandomguy's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of notsorandomguy's badges

notsorandomguy's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

by MissYouPieceOfSkin / 11/27/2013 at 3:44am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

by Frostbitten / 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I walked into my room, only to find my 15-year-old brother violating my old teddy bear. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2012 at 2:54pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week. We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy. Great, my dog is a racist. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 3:00am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2012 at 8:09am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that sex in the woods is amazing. I also found that the roar of a nearby bear will end the amazement. Not only was I cock blocked by a bear, I almost shit myself. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2012 at 11:21pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, I got asked out for the second time in my life. Since my first date didn't go so well I thought I might have better luck with a different guy. I had to end the date when he confessed it was his destiny to kill his father. FML

by BadGuyLuck / 02/25/2012 at 1:33am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to tell my 7 year old son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML

by Gothicbunnyx3 / 02/20/2012 at 8:43pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had to call AAA for the fifth time in two months. When the driver got out, I instantly recognized him. It was the same guy who helped me out all the previous occasions. When he saw me, he snorted and doubled over laughing. FML

by big steve / 02/11/2012 at 1:35pm / United States (Arizona) / Transportation

Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML

by MakesMeLol / 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried exercising. My whole house shook. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 10:47pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my family. The night consisted of my sisters hiding in a tent and chasing us around in it, my parents singing songs from 'The Lion King' opera-style and throwing cheese at him. Pretty sure he's freaked out. FML

by wellthatsawkward / 12/30/2011 at 1:35am / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

by ...... / 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous