Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

notsorandomguy

Search for a member

notsorandomguy
  • Town/Country : St Germain en Laye, France
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 30 August 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 667
  • Number of comments : 135
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About notsorandomguy : Hi. If you're reading this, I'd appreciate if you could rate my randomness on a scale of 1. Have a good day!
PS: You can try messaging me, but I'm usually on the app.

notsorandomguy's last visitors

mrnikcTheLydsterjofukurselfgeorgemacdead_insectsjaybear13Wizardo

notsorandomguy's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of notsorandomguy's badges

notsorandomguy's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28835) - you deserved it (13483)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

#20523671
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40508) - you deserved it (5134)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I walked into my room, only to find my 15-year-old brother violating my old teddy bear. FML

#20126784
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19600) - you deserved it (1375)

On 10/21/2012 at 2:54pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week. We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy. Great, my dog is a racist. FML

#20097984
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22623) - you deserved it (2387)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:10am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37705) - you deserved it (2942)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
582 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11631) - you deserved it (51483) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

#19343662
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36631) - you deserved it (11379)

On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that sex in the woods is amazing. I also found that the roar of a nearby bear will end the amazement. Not only was I cock blocked by a bear, I almost shit myself. FML

#19323804
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23357) - you deserved it (5777)

On 03/21/2012 at 11:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got asked out for the second time in my life. Since my first date didn't go so well I thought I might have better luck with a different guy. I had to end the date when he confessed it was his destiny to kill his father. FML

#19158359
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26937) - you deserved it (2114)

On 02/25/2012 at 1:33am - misc - by BadGuyLuck (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had to tell my 7 year old son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML

#19126066
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29469) - you deserved it (4642)

On 02/20/2012 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Gothicbunnyx3 - United States

Today, I had to call AAA for the fifth time in two months. When the driver got out, I instantly recognized him. It was the same guy who helped me out all the previous occasions. When he saw me, he snorted and doubled over laughing. FML

#19048671
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18956) - you deserved it (5201)

On 02/11/2012 at 1:35pm - misc - by big steve (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML

#18845928
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31835) - you deserved it (4595)

On 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by MakesMeLol (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I tried exercising. My whole house shook. FML

#18691343
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23024) - you deserved it (12258)

On 01/02/2012 at 10:47pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my family. The night consisted of my sisters hiding in a tent and chasing us around in it, my parents singing songs from 'The Lion King' opera-style and throwing cheese at him. Pretty sure he's freaked out. FML

#18650275
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23955) - you deserved it (3545)

On 12/30/2011 at 1:35am - love - by wellthatsawkward (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

#17931369
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22909) - you deserved it (3031)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by ...... (woman) - United States (Utah)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: