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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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nothingbutnet003

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nothingbutnet003
  • Town/Country : San Francisco, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 26 January 1994 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 183
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML

#8052532 (232)

I agree, your life sucks (8554) - you deserved it (15700)

On 02/09/2010 at 2:10pm - misc - by kingmetal42 - Sent from mobile version

Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML

#4331370 (815)

I agree, your life sucks (661) - you deserved it (278796)

On 08/06/2009 at 9:35am - misc - by who_could_it_be - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML

#2804463 (803)

I agree, your life sucks (17354) - you deserved it (171865)

On 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by ouchers (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

#2799622 (1233)

I agree, your life sucks (31602) - you deserved it (473932)

On 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm - misc - by I_Am_The_Edge (man) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML

#2418263 (459)

I agree, your life sucks (10992) - you deserved it (140127)

On 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML

#2019724 (631)

I agree, your life sucks (15006) - you deserved it (158508)

On 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by karmasabitch (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14 year old boy. FML

#1617373 (536)

I agree, your life sucks (65843) - you deserved it (177679)

On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML

#1033363 (405)

I agree, your life sucks (19827) - you deserved it (185786)

On 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by tvaladie (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

#761206 (480)

I agree, your life sucks (167989) - you deserved it (51072)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I decided to cheat on my math test by writing a couple of equations on my hand. Totally satisfied, I handed my test in feeling like I had aced it. As I was heading toward the door, I happily waved goodbye to my teacher. She saw everything. FML

#637114 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (10264) - you deserved it (126829)

On 03/27/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by rutho (man) - United States (California)

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

#618013 (863)

I agree, your life sucks (43464) - you deserved it (361126)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348 (832)

I agree, your life sucks (32065) - you deserved it (381786)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to a party and the cops came to bust the party. I jumped out the window of a second story house in order to avoid getting arrested. I broke my leg in three places and got a concussion. The cops let everyone go with a warning. FML

#377584 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (30546) - you deserved it (129633)

On 03/16/2009 at 12:02pm - misc - by natty (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML

#56665 (529)

I agree, your life sucks (141755) - you deserved it (53047)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)