notAmused

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notAmused

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 15 March 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2956
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About notAmused : Enjoy having fun, listening to music i am a bit of a music junkie.., and of course everything that f's up my life... :D.

notAmused's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:15pm<b>ha</b> - the 12/18/2009 at 11:29pm<b>mushrooms</b> - the 09/22/2009 at 5:08pm<b>Witchcraft</b> - the 09/17/2009 at 7:20pm<b>DoveOrHawk</b> - the 09/13/2009 at 10:50pm<b>Hey_Darl</b> - the 08/13/2009 at 1:08pm<b>NeverBAckDown</b> - the 07/22/2009 at 2:15am<b>Daaniellee1234</b> - the 07/16/2009 at 5:25pm<b>gregthestrange</b> - the 07/15/2009 at 12:25pm<b>littlexlion</b> - the 07/14/2009 at 7:39pm<b>confessions</b> - the 07/14/2009 at 2:52am<b>RkR</b> - the 07/13/2009 at 10:01pm<b>xabuko</b> - the 07/12/2009 at 3:07am<b>MtDewAddict</b> - the 07/12/2009 at 2:09am<b>roundnproud</b> - the 07/11/2009 at 10:55pm<b>Jaxro</b> - the 07/11/2009 at 5:04pm<b>redxapplexoxo</b> - the 07/11/2009 at 4:31pm<b>DizzyDemon0</b> - the 07/11/2009 at 2:01pm

notAmused's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

notAmused's favorite FMLs

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

by Familyskank / 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, I was taking the subway to work when I saw a really hot girl. Noticing that she, like me, had a Dunkin' Donuts coffee, I tried to start a conversation by saying, "Is that Double Ds you have there?" She didn't pick up that I was talking about the coffee. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2009 at 6:46pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I was riding my bike and stopped at a street light. A little girl looked at me, then asked her mother, "Mommy, why does that girl have a ring through her nose?" Her mother then replied, "Because her parents don't love her." FML

by Anonymous / 04/05/2009 at 3:33pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, while showering, my 3 year old son comes to the bathroom and puts on all my makeup. Once I got out of the shower, I got a camera I had and took a few adorable shots. Afterward, I sent the images to all my friends and family. Then I realized the reflection on the mirror was me fully naked. FML

by heytherexo / 04/04/2009 at 10:10pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2009 at 12:34am / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, I was at the doctor's office and the doctor asked me "have you been having any intimate relations?" and the first thing that I blurted out was, "you mean with other people?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2009 at 10:46am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I texted this girl that I really like. I got a message back saying "Your message to 903-***-**** could not go through due to a disconnection, thanks, Alltel services." I overheard her later at lunch saying she sent the message, and laughed with her friends about it. FML

by Anonymous / 03/26/2009 at 10:54am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

by JAY22 / 03/26/2009 at 7:41am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I went out for coffee with a guy I really like. We met up at the local café, and decided to sit at a counter in front of the window. We talked and flirted for a while. Then he kissed me, and while he was kissing me someone banged on the window. It was my parents. They didn't know I'm gay. FML

by clementine_k / 03/21/2009 at 10:38pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love

Today, me and my boyfriend came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

by MrAwsum / 03/17/2009 at 4:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I went home for my grandma's 95th birthday. While there she noticed my new tongue piercing and asked why I would get it done. Before I could reply, my cousin says "So she can can make the boys happier when she's sucking on them." She's 9 years old. FML

by epictothemax / 03/10/2009 at 4:40pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, a man in my town was arrested for hiding methanphetamine in a hollowed out walking cane and distributing it to the population of his retirement complex. That man was my 58 year old father. FML

by Noname / 03/10/2009 at 11:01am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML

by serverdessert / 03/08/2009 at 5:02pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, I got my first tattoo. It was a surprise for my fiancé: our names together over a heart. I went home but before I could show him, he said we had to have a 'talk.' Now my ex's name is tattooed on my back. The kicker? Turns out I'm allergic to the ink. FML

by anon / 03/08/2009 at 4:47am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy