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noshatsherlockk

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noshatsherlockk
  • Town/Country : The States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2382
  • Number of comments : 122
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About noshatsherlockk : Born to do the dishes.

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noshatsherlockk's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML

#18444451
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10329) - you deserved it (41026)

On 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, my mom bought me pepper spray in case anyone tried to "mess" with me. I put it in my purse. Later, a guy snatched my purse before I even had the chance to take out the pepper spray. FML

#18411297
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23656) - you deserved it (3513)

On 12/02/2011 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was terribly nervous for my patient interview exam as a 4th year medical student. In my nervousness I learned that just because a patient is wearing a T-shirt and shorts, has a short hair cut and a moustache and is named 'Chris', it is not safe to assume that they are male. FML

#18410783
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28332) - you deserved it (3595)

On 12/02/2011 at 9:40am - work - by Monday (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

#18404973
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33465) - you deserved it (7314)

On 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by pops up - United States (Missouri)

Today, my daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to burst into tears and yell, "Am I not good enough for you?" whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML

#18254436
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11885) - you deserved it (55347)

On 11/15/2011 at 10:16am - kids - by Margo (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The lights kept on going on and off. Why? The lights are activated by "clap on, clap off." It killed the mood. FML

#18150434
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31179) - you deserved it (8636)

On 11/03/2011 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by KayleeXLoVe21 - United States (New York)

Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML

#18135742
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26540) - you deserved it (3167)

On 11/02/2011 at 1:06am - misc - by steve-o - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML

#18087484
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30515) - you deserved it (7694)

On 10/27/2011 at 8:22am - intimacy - by ifeeldirty (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15114) - you deserved it (28070)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29149) - you deserved it (5021) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML

#17617939
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22615) - you deserved it (2414)

On 08/30/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML

#16998038
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47042) - you deserved it (14875)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:26am - intimacy - by devilboy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I thought an attractive guy was looking at my tits instead of my face, and prepared to act offended and perhaps flirt. Unfortunately, he was actually looking at the peeling and flaking sunburn in my cleavage, and informed me that Aloe might be helpful. FML

#16571966
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11009) - you deserved it (36414)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:21am - intimacy - by Liz - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I had to clean bathroom duties at work. Someone wrote "Merry Christmas" on the wall in their own shit. FML

#14160677
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33374) - you deserved it (2223)

On 12/10/2010 at 11:59pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, for once, I managed to get my boyfriend's mind off the hockey game. I muted the TV and cuddled up to him. Only thirty seconds into snuggling, he shoved me onto the floor and screamed, "GOAL!" FML

#13626232
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14198) - you deserved it (24655)

On 10/28/2010 at 12:29pm - love - by Fatality (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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