About noshatsherlockk : Born to do the dishes.
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noshatsherlockk's favorite FMLs
Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML
by Carpet cleaner / 02/20/2012 at 9:15pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by ashleigh_anarchy / 02/20/2012 at 8:05pm / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML
by lotrgeek / 02/13/2012 at 8:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by SpongeAbii2 / 01/24/2012 at 6:47am / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Miscellaneous
by thosedamnkids / 01/22/2012 at 12:09am / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, while over at a friend's house, I saw a framed picture of a young African boy on her fridge. I asked, "Oh, is this one of those kids you adopt from third world countries? My grandma does that too." She responded, "What do you mean? That's my cousin." FML
by WillaminaL / 01/19/2012 at 10:33pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
by tiptoesjohnson / 01/19/2012 at 6:26pm / Miscellaneous
by Crashburn / 01/16/2012 at 6:09am / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Love
by bunnyluver4545 / 01/11/2012 at 12:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML
by Danny / 01/07/2012 at 5:27am / Australia / Intimacy
by Sophie / 12/26/2011 at 11:21pm / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Transportation
by Jessica / 12/26/2011 at 11:11pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Jbs4lf / 12/26/2011 at 10:15pm / Belgium / Miscellaneous
by Peter / 12/26/2011 at 9:24pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML
by Anonymous / 12/21/2011 at 1:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…