About noshatsherlockk : Born to do the dishes.
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Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19722) - you deserved it (1629)
On 02/20/2012 at 9:15pm - misc - by Carpet cleaner (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, someone actually thought it was appropriate to compare my mother's death to the death of their cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24212) - you deserved it (2030)
On 02/20/2012 at 8:05pm - misc - by ashleigh_anarchy (woman) - Australia
Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26059) - you deserved it (5438)
On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21701) - you deserved it (2172)
On 01/24/2012 at 6:47am - misc - by SpongeAbii2 - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)
Today, I was working at Staples and organizing some notebooks. All of a sudden, I jumped up because of a sharp pain in my back. A little girl had grabbed a stapler and stapled my back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32242) - you deserved it (1920)
On 01/22/2012 at 12:09am - kids - by thosedamnkids (man) - United States (New York)
Today, while over at a friend's house, I saw a framed picture of a young African boy on her fridge. I asked, "Oh, is this one of those kids you adopt from third world countries? My grandma does that too." She responded, "What do you mean? That's my cousin." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7038) - you deserved it (24310)
On 01/19/2012 at 10:33pm - kids - by WillaminaL (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I attempted to cheat on a test by writing some notes on my hand. During the test I had a question. I raised my hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5421) - you deserved it (55059)
On 01/19/2012 at 6:26pm - misc - by tiptoesjohnson -
Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28371) - you deserved it (10829)
On 01/16/2012 at 6:09am - love - by Crashburn (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10312) - you deserved it (22513)
On 01/11/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by bunnyluver4545 - United States (Texas)
Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16178) - you deserved it (28457)
Today, I got hit by a car. My friends left me to get to the hospital myself. The cab was double fare. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21544) - you deserved it (1465)
On 12/26/2011 at 11:21pm - health - by Sophie - United Kingdom (Cheshire)
Today, I found out that my best friend won $1,000 in a photography contest. With a photo I took. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31277) - you deserved it (1913)
On 12/26/2011 at 11:11pm - misc - by Jessica - United States (California)
Today, I got punched in the face by a drunk because I couldn't give him any cigarettes. I don't smoke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20400) - you deserved it (1626)
Today, we found out where our daughter had been hiding her crayons. We also found out why our stereo stopped working. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16376) - you deserved it (1899)
On 12/26/2011 at 9:24pm - kids - by Peter - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22371) - you deserved it (1624)
On 12/21/2011 at 1:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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