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noshatsherlockk

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noshatsherlockk

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2810
  • Number of comments : 122
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About noshatsherlockk : Born to do the dishes.

noshatsherlockk's page activity

Visits<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 8:55am<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 1:30am<b>thee_most_dope</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 12:49am<b>Trollx</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 3:20pm<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 12:06am<b>tigerRaWr84</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 5:54pm<b>TheMarshmellow</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 10:40pm<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 11:33pm<b>krisnick</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 3:04am<b>missmandersxoxo</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 2:28am<b>thischick113</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 11:54am<b>tagallopes</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 7:03pm<b>LSU_Man_79</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 12:31am<b>Apollo182</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 12:34pm<b>paintedwings12</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 1:14am<b>Queensland</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 11:45pm<b>whatsupitsbrian</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 9:19am<b>Rallred32</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 8:16pm

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noshatsherlockk's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14819) - you deserved it (38517)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, someone rang my doorbell. The moment I opened the door, a smell not unlike a cascading torrent of rotting flesh and urine hit my nostrils. I stood there for an eternity as a homeless man leaned on my door and desperately tried to convince me to buy an array of scrap metal from him. FML

#19824266
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18056) - you deserved it (2997)

On 06/21/2012 at 2:13pm - misc - by noquiero (man) - United Kingdom (Durham)

Today, after having been constipated for ages, I finally forced out a week's worth of build-up. The excruciating pain reduced me to tears, and my boyfriend refused to drive me to the hospital, because according to him, I must have had anal sex with someone. FML

#19824188
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26994) - you deserved it (2515)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:43pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
403 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37305) - you deserved it (4010)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I was cashiering, and a customer's change came to $5.51. She looked pretty stinking rich, so I just gave her $5.50. She demanded the extra penny, and I asked if she really needed it. She said, "No, but they do, asshole," and dropped her $5.51 in the charity donation box. FML

#19781749
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8402) - you deserved it (105173)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:00pm - money - by ouch - United States (Florida)

Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML

#19668387
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20749) - you deserved it (4412)

On 05/23/2012 at 4:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML

#19663287
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34353) - you deserved it (4023)

On 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while in the bathroom, I started absent-mindedly drumming on my thighs. I didn't stop to think that people outside would think I was masturbating. FML

#19655658
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21398) - you deserved it (6875)

On 05/21/2012 at 1:56am - intimacy - by morethanredhands -

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

#19650159
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26513) - you deserved it (3008)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he would still love me if I became a vegetable. His response: "Well, the sex wouldn't be any different." FML

#19591291
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17092) - you deserved it (31017)

On 05/08/2012 at 7:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the supermarket when I saw an elderly lady slip on a wet patch of floor. I ran over to help, and I almost fell too before steadying myself. Then some pimply cockmunch of a teen decided to kick my legs out from under me and walk away while laughing his balls off. FML

#19558069
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25481) - you deserved it (2019)

On 05/01/2012 at 12:17pm - health - by karmafails (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my girlfriend saw the name "Melissa" on my phone's contact list. After refusing to tell her who it was, she accused me of being a cheater, broke up with me and stormed out of my house. Melissa is the name of a woman from Craigslist who was going to sell me an antique engagement ring. FML

#19459497
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37991) - you deserved it (7795)

On 04/13/2012 at 1:09am - love - by rejected - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my seven-year-old told me to lose weight. Her reason? There's a family fun day coming up at her school and she is embarrassed. FML

#19447542
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17292) - you deserved it (19688)

On 04/11/2012 at 1:04am - kids - by vanessax (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my future mother-in-law told me she thought I was severely allergic to cigarette smoke. That hasn't stopped her from chain-smoking around me for the last 3 years. FML

#19447044
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20525) - you deserved it (1761)

On 04/10/2012 at 11:49pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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