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northernlightsae

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northernlightsae

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  • Number of visits : 293
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northernlightsae's favorite FMLs

Today, I was riding the subway when a beautiful topless girl walked into my car and sat directly in front of me. Then, the train stopped abruptly and I banged my head. The girl was gone and I realized it had all been a dream. Then I realized I was supposed to get off 17 stops ago. FML

#12544003
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17846) - you deserved it (37366)

On 08/15/2010 at 6:31pm - intimacy - by Peekaman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

#11389778
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18464) - you deserved it (57644)

On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)

Today, I got a huge bill through the post. It turns out that my elderly mother made the vet come out to my house to see the dog while I was out, because she was scared of the little growths she had found on his body. They were nipples. FML

#10925593
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29842) - you deserved it (2279)

On 06/02/2010 at 7:15pm - money - by dogshavenipples (man) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my mother walked in on my boyfriend licking whipped cream off my nipples. FML

#8663511
367 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12491) - you deserved it (26292)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by hannah12345 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was having a very realistic dream about a hot guy. Just as he was leaning in to ravish me, I was rudely awakened by the sound of my husband farting and snorting at the same time. FML

#8005552
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27364) - you deserved it (10840)

On 02/08/2010 at 6:24am - love - by dreamteam (woman) - United States

Today, I was at my Muay Thai class. We were doing a combination which consisted of a low kick, body kick and head kick. My partner had already done the low kick so I held the pads for the body kick. He kicked me straight in the jaw. I'm a teenage girl and he's a fully grown man. FML

#7586565
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31150) - you deserved it (3358)

On 01/26/2010 at 7:55am - health - by anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, my best friend and I went to the movies. There was a hot cashier, so I thought it would be cool to talk in a British accent to try and be sexy. I walked up and started talking when he interrupted me and said in a very heavy British accent, "I know you're faking. You can stop now." FML

#5752857
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6925) - you deserved it (53125)

On 10/10/2009 at 2:10am - work - by dammitt (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was in the gas station and I saw this creepy lady staring at me and smiling. She just didn't stop. I even gave an awkward wave to let her know that I saw her staring at me. Finally I decided to confront the woman, turns out the overly happy woman was a cardboard cut out FML

#3763600
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13250) - you deserved it (61082)

On 07/15/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was walking down the sidewalk and heard a little girl ask her dad why I had blue hair. He said, "Sometimes drugs will make people do stupid things." FML

#2485875
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39644) - you deserved it (35958)

On 05/31/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by bluehairedfreakgirl (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my dad that I was going to sleep over my friends house this weekend with a few other guys to play Dungeons and Dragons. He responded with, "Oh, back in my day, me and my pals used to pick on the kids who played Dungeons and Dragons." FML

#2261901
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22188) - you deserved it (53170)

On 05/25/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by ninjawhat1337 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone." in a seductive tone. FML

#1681747
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62494) - you deserved it (7221)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:13am - love - by Jinthebar (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML

#879478
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65268) - you deserved it (8532)

On 04/08/2009 at 11:43pm - animals - by BadBreath (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after finishing a huge French essay, I realized my printer wasn't working. So, I emailed it to a guy in my class to print and then give to me. When I get to French, he said he had already turned his in early and never got my email. It turned out he used mine. I got an F on the essay. FML

#635600
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62322) - you deserved it (16651)

On 03/26/2009 at 11:38pm - misc - by lauren555 - United States (Virginia)



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