Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

northernlightsae

Search for a member

northernlightsae

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 256
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

northernlightsae's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

northernlightsae's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the pool boy has been stealing from me for over a year now. The latest things that he has taken are my laptop, the cash I hide in my closet and my wife. FML

#19092869
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36736) - you deserved it (3740)

On 02/16/2012 at 11:26am - misc - by mypoolisstilldirty (man) - Australia

Today, my mom went to the store. She said she was feeling generous, and had gotten everyone a little treat. My brothers each got candy and a movie. I got acne medication. FML

#19001319
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24269) - you deserved it (3092)

On 02/05/2012 at 1:49pm - misc - by CaityLovesBo - United States (Washington)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

#18954927
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30829) - you deserved it (4965)

On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom, braiding my dad's pubic hair. I don't know what scarred me more; my mom braiding his pubic hair or the fact that his pubic hair is long enough to be braided. FML

#18479276
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48146) - you deserved it (3613)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Joe (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend became convinced that I cheated on him, and broke up with me, saying he would "get me back." When I came home, I found his key on my counter and my cat missing. FML

#18381687
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27276) - you deserved it (3029)

On 11/29/2011 at 12:14am - animals - by reallyupset (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at the nail salon, a Korean woman was making fun of me. I kindly told her, in Korean, that I understood. She kindly told me, in English, that she didn't care. FML

#18150713
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41745) - you deserved it (3767)

On 11/03/2011 at 8:16pm - work - by EunJung - United States

Today, I could actually feel my toe hairs flapping in the breeze. I'm a girl. FML

#17926318
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22912) - you deserved it (15585)

On 10/07/2011 at 6:35am - misc - by Hairytoes - United States

Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML

#17659578
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35956) - you deserved it (9402)

On 09/04/2011 at 5:36am - intimacy - by southernluxe - United States

Today, I'm sitting in a public toilet when a guy kicks the door in and shoves a police badge in my face, screaming for me to tell him "the path of Lemmiwinks". After a whole minute of me shitting my balls off, he bursts into laughter and tells me I've been pranked. I was too embarrassed to report him. FML

#17522944
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27147) - you deserved it (3669)

On 08/19/2011 at 8:23pm - misc - by shitless88 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

#17499822
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34409) - you deserved it (6821)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - United States

Today, my husband finally got round to cutting down a tree limb in our front yard after months of me begging him. It fell on me. FML

#17056931
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22309) - you deserved it (14105)

On 07/10/2011 at 7:51pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my therapist told me to write down my secrets in an envelope and symbolically burn them. My secrets included stories of my rampant sex life, drug use, a suicide attempt, and the overpowering hatred I have for my family. I've managed to misplace the envelope somewhere back home. FML

#15091616
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26887) - you deserved it (19750)

On 02/23/2011 at 4:07pm - misc - by Elle (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML

#13799884
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16045) - you deserved it (33494)

On 11/11/2010 at 8:30am - health - by sweet_stufz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a crying kid was brought to my attention by a customer. He was so upset from losing his mom that he couldn't say his name or his moms name. I took him around the store asking him to point out his mom. Once we found her she told me "I was hiding from my kid to test his independence." FML

#13107358
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34154) - you deserved it (2366)

On 09/19/2010 at 12:27am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my Mom felt the need to walk around school and tell everyone to be nice to me because I just started my period. FML

#12616520
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55937) - you deserved it (3681)

On 08/19/2010 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Jordid - United States (Colorado)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: