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noodleyhead

Offline (the 04/15/2014 at 7:06am) | Search for a member

noodleyhead

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 130
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About noodleyhead : I don't know why anyone would want to be reading this, but if you are, then hello.

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noodleyhead's favorite FMLs

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11244) - you deserved it (37809)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
403 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37307) - you deserved it (4010)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I used a prank app, where you shake the cell, and it makes the screen looks cracked. I ended up losing my grip on the phone. It went flying, and it is now cracked for real. FML

#19763954
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9327) - you deserved it (32114)

On 06/10/2012 at 2:24am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML

#19581531
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20374) - you deserved it (4054)

On 05/06/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by flustered (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

#19572319
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30667) - you deserved it (1920)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)

Today, I got home from work to find my boyfriend sobbing hysterically over the death of his cat. The only cat he could be talking about is the one on his Sims account. FML

#19505597
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23710) - you deserved it (2732)

On 04/21/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I called my mobile phone provider to end my contract. A sales rep spent over half an hour trying to convince me to reconsider, and I kept refusing. I ended up breaking down and accepting a "more economical" contract, which I didn't notice costs almost twice as much as the last one. FML

#19503587
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7181) - you deserved it (32525)

On 04/20/2012 at 10:49pm - money - by ... (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on the bus during rush hour. A fly started buzzing around my head, and I swatted at it, at the exact moment the woman beside me decided to get out of her seat and put her face straight in the path of my hand. FML

#19502060
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21885) - you deserved it (2692)

On 04/20/2012 at 5:48pm - misc - by apparentlyawomanbeater (man) - Switzerland (Ticino)

Today, I needed to pay off a $35 parking ticket. To try and get some sort of revenge, I went to the bank and got 3,500 pennies, dumped them into a bucket, and refused to pay with anything besides the pennies. They called the police. I was arrested and cited $147. FML

Today, a total stranger on the bus called me hideous and threw a soda in my face. I only asked him if the seat next to him was taken. FML

#17048924
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31926) - you deserved it (3122)

On 07/10/2011 at 2:03am - misc - by ugly (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my cousin taught me how to make dinner. My cousin is in first grade and I'm in college. FML

#16598107
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11470) - you deserved it (37136)

On 06/10/2011 at 5:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was trying to swat a wasp in my bedroom. I got so frustrated that I ended up punching myself in the face. The wasp is still here, and now I look like I've been in a brawl. FML

#14250956
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8412) - you deserved it (24887)

On 12/18/2010 at 6:47pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to a neon themed party. Standing by the UV light, I looked down and realised my pad was glowing through my tights. FML

#3741117
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71240) - you deserved it (14601)

On 07/14/2009 at 8:23am - misc - by paddy (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was giving a lecture to my class I heard a phone go off. Aggravated and exhausted, I asked everyone to turn their phones off. Then the phone rang again. I lost my shit and spent the next half hour calling my students a bunch of "technology whores". Then I realized the phone was mine. FML

#681021
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15247) - you deserved it (184034)

On 03/29/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by emkaycutie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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