Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

noobsterr

Search for a member

noobsterr

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 311
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

noobsterr's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of noobsterr's badges

noobsterr's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML

#19633207
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8226) - you deserved it (33987)

On 05/16/2012 at 5:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I finally got the chance to meet this wonderful guy I met on a dating site. She was very excited to see me, too. FML

#19632060
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23473) - you deserved it (5025)

On 05/16/2012 at 1:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML

#19631611
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22081) - you deserved it (9093)

On 05/16/2012 at 10:19am - love - by Coykoi - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was told the Mandarin greeting that my new Chinese friends at school taught me was not really a greeting at all. I've been proclaiming "I'm a dumb bitch" every time I've greeted them, almost every day for the past month. FML

#19627538
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22472) - you deserved it (7631)

On 05/15/2012 at 3:02pm - misc - by FML (woman) - Finland

Today, I'm on a trip to Poland with some friends. We came to experience the country's culture, and to challenge our preconceptions about this part of Europe. We had sat on a bench, and not ten seconds later, a stranger approached and asked, "How much for your friend?" FML

#19626954
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20080) - you deserved it (2499) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/15/2012 at 11:59am - misc - by LearnToLive -

Today, my mom was giving me a long lecture about being aware of my surroundings, because you never know what's out there. While she was talking, I noticed a drug deal going down in the Walmart parking lot. She didn't notice. FML

#19626758
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20520) - you deserved it (1970)

On 05/15/2012 at 10:24am - misc - by observant (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him, saying that the only thing he would change about me is my last name. I later told him that I wanted to keep my last name after the marriage. I'm now single again. FML

#19624313
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19664) - you deserved it (37513)

On 05/14/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by singleagain (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him, saying that the only thing he would change about me is my last name. I later told him that I wanted to keep my last name after the marriage. I'm now single again. FML

#19624313
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19664) - you deserved it (37513)

On 05/14/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by singleagain (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him, saying that the only thing he would change about me is my last name. I later told him that I wanted to keep my last name after the marriage. I'm now single again. FML

#19624313
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19664) - you deserved it (37513)

On 05/14/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by singleagain (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

#19623439
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37797) - you deserved it (3962) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm - misc - by lafinesse (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend got so happy when he thought he'd finally given me an orgasm. I was covering an urge to sneeze. FML

#19620507
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25190) - you deserved it (3634)

On 05/14/2012 at 1:27am - intimacy - by sneezeattack (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML

#19159270
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32073) - you deserved it (7752)

On 02/25/2012 at 6:25am - misc - by badmom (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I had to use antiperspirant deodorant under my breasts. FML

#19152897
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24709) - you deserved it (6184)

On 02/24/2012 at 10:05am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

#19152060
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21840) - you deserved it (6556)

On 02/24/2012 at 3:40am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML

#19149588
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26210) - you deserved it (2084)

On 02/23/2012 at 9:24pm - health - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: