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About nond2nv : SWF seeks funny FMLs.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (3336) - you deserved it (14336) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I had my first kiss with the woman I've been in love with for two years. Right as I kissed her, some guys drove by in a car and threw some soggy spaghetti at me, yelling, "Noob!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (9892) - you deserved it (950)
On 12/23/2011 at 5:53am - love - by johncabbot25 (man) - Canada
Today, I woke up to find a parking ticket on my car. My car was in my driveway and the cop who wrote it is my ex-boyfriend. This is the third time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1321) - you deserved it (2181)
On 04/25/2011 at 12:24am - misc - by neverdatingacopagain (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my dog decided to chase a smaller dog for three blocks. When I finally caught up with him, he laid down and refused to go anywhere. I had to carry my 80 pounds Labrador like a baby all the way home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21389) - you deserved it (5135)
On 04/24/2011 at 4:42am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23497) - you deserved it (3094)
On 04/23/2011 at 9:11am - health - by cdn_steed - United States (New York)
Today, I was waiting for the bus while wearing my new FML shirt. A passer-by stopped, stared at me for a moment, and said, "I agree, your life sucks." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20709) - you deserved it (40819) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 03/28/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by Danou - Sent from mobile version
TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27640) - you deserved it (23810)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, I spent almost two hours cleaning my fish tank, only to find out that my cat had secretly eaten all of my fish while I was cleaning the tank. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26273) - you deserved it (5735)
On 03/14/2011 at 3:52pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was sitting on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy came and sat next to me. Next thing I know, he farts loudly, then proudly looks my way. I stared back in shock. He says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46031) - you deserved it (9597)
On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, while working at McDonald's, a woman asked me what came on a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. Trying not to laugh, I respond, "Bacon, egg, and cheese." She then realizes the stupidity of her question, and launches three dollars worth of quarters at my face and says, "Laugh at that, jerk." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23633) - you deserved it (4095)
On 09/26/2010 at 7:14pm - work - by lyssuhhhh (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (16950) - you deserved it (1676)
On 09/19/2010 at 10:13pm - misc - by embaressed (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
I agree, your life sucks (16789) - you deserved it (4759)
On 09/17/2010 at 4:33pm - misc - by huwauw (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44296) - you deserved it (14695)
On 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm - kids - by Ouch (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (157419) - you deserved it (18689)
On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)
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