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Today, my mother told me it's okay to be a prostitute, as long as I make sure the clients pay a lot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19529) - you deserved it (2529)
On 03/26/2012 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Teenagegirl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I witnessed my husband swat a coffee bean over and over again, all the while mistaking it for a fly. I then figured he probably has a lower IQ than I do, which wouldn't be so bad if mine wasn't a few points away from minor retardation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15456) - you deserved it (4744)
On 03/24/2012 at 7:06pm - misc - by sheilob (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I started my research project on horror stories and people's fascination with them. I did some research and wound up reading H.P. Lovecraft. On the upside, I can now pee more easily. On the downside, it's likely to be in my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10662) - you deserved it (2635)
On 03/24/2012 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, I realized I've been confusing scenes from The Lord of the Rings with American history. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5357) - you deserved it (15712)
On 03/24/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by Avery - United States (California)
Today, at my grandmother's funeral there was a fight about inheritance. It was my teenage daughters arguing about what they get when I die. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18678) - you deserved it (1799)
On 03/24/2012 at 9:20am - kids - by thammer - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was fooling around with my husband on the bed. I was excited as he lifted my arms up in a seductive way, only to roll deodorant under my armpits. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9231) - you deserved it (21227)
On 03/24/2012 at 8:14am - intimacy - by SG - United States
Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38098) - you deserved it (3219)
On 03/23/2012 at 1:55am - intimacy - by mrricecakes (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I spotted a $100 bill on the ground. Being a little strapped for cash, I excitedly picked it up. I discovered it was one of those religious tract papers made to look like a folded bill, with a message scolding me for being greedy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19723) - you deserved it (2946)
On 03/22/2012 at 7:32pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while I was on the bus to work, a morbidly obese man sat down next to me. When my stop came and I stood up to get off, he just looked at me, said with a smirk, "good luck with that," and went back to reading his paper. I missed my stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22485) - you deserved it (1710)
On 03/22/2012 at 2:00pm - misc - by busfail - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I had to yet again tell my mother-in-law that I wasn't going to name my unborn baby "Ermintrude" after her late mother. My husband told me to stop being difficult, and that he agrees that it would be nice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23286) - you deserved it (1436)
On 03/22/2012 at 1:14pm - kids - by futuremum (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)
Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8163) - you deserved it (45144)
On 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by brooke (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18280) - you deserved it (3025)
On 03/20/2012 at 6:33pm - love - by anonymous - Canada (Newfoundland)
Today, I was on the train ride home from a trip to Florida, and I gave my mom a call. While we talked, I made an offhand comment that all my friends back home must miss me. She knowingly asked if I meant my Sims and my cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14810) - you deserved it (3332)
On 03/20/2012 at 3:15pm - misc - by lyla - United States
Today, I told my daughter that she should put some love into her cooking. She started kissing the ingredients. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14120) - you deserved it (10526)
On 03/19/2012 at 12:59am - kids - by FoodyFood (woman) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, a bunch of my friends have been accepted to various colleges while I've been denied to the past 5. To cheer me up, my mom drove me to McDonald's. While we were in the drive-thru, she asked them if they had any job openings. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21293) - you deserved it (3392)
On 03/18/2012 at 3:07am - misc - by pwib - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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