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Today, a guy asked me out and said he was going to take me to a fancy restaurant where they make the food in front of you. I love Japanese food, so I was really excited. We went to Subway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24358) - you deserved it (3752)
On 04/11/2012 at 12:54pm - love - by mista_sandy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was sitting in my car outside my apartment complex when a man came around the corner holding something shiny, and I thought was a gun. Thinking I was about to get robbed at gun point, I bugged out and threw up. It was a silver watering can. He asked if I was okay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11136) - you deserved it (9450)
On 04/10/2012 at 12:35am - health - by logkitty - United States (California)
Today, I learned that my roommate doesn't actually know a damn thing about cooking. I'm suffering the effects of him telling me that chicken is best eaten medium-rare. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13439) - you deserved it (7827)
On 04/03/2012 at 11:02pm - health - by Ralph - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went to McDonalds and ordered a happy meal with a girl's toy. The high school girls behind the counter said I was too old to be served one, and I had to go home and explain to my sick daughter why she didn't get her toy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32212) - you deserved it (3293)
On 04/03/2012 at 1:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4221) - you deserved it (22298)
On 04/03/2012 at 1:13am - misc - by Wannabees (woman) - Canada
Today, the war against the pigeons on my veranda reached a new level. To try and get them to clear off, I gave my window pane a short, sharp knock. It broke into several shards, and not one of the totally oblivious birds moved. Pigeons 1, Me 0. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13957) - you deserved it (3532) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/03/2012 at 12:41am - misc - by Kilimanjaro (woman) - France
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30237) - you deserved it (1932)
On 04/01/2012 at 10:18pm - intimacy - by ohgod... - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my boyfriend of 3 months broke up with me because he is moving. He's only moving 20 minutes away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20700) - you deserved it (2190)
On 03/31/2012 at 8:22am - love - by swim5 - United States (Arizona)
Today, on my way to my therapist, my father told me to lie to her and tell her that I'm happy so he doesn't have to drive me in anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17675) - you deserved it (1327)
On 03/31/2012 at 3:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I confided to my dad that my girlfriend had dumped me for another guy. He said "good" and explained that given how overpopulated the planet is, he's actually disappointed that I'm not gay. His advice was: "just wank it off and move on". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16391) - you deserved it (1786)
On 03/30/2012 at 6:21pm - love - by sad (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, I had to sit in the hospital with my 88-year-old grandfather by myself. During the five hours I was there, he insisted on sharing the intimate details of his many sexcapades that he has had since World War II. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17021) - you deserved it (2180)
On 03/30/2012 at 7:32am - intimacy - by kawood (woman) - United States
Today, my professor called me out in the middle of a lecture to ask why I was bleeding. I then had to explain to him, in front of around one hundred of my fellow classmates, that my largest zit had burst. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18415) - you deserved it (1959)
On 03/29/2012 at 12:45am - health - by Jayne - United States
Today, I emailed my crush an anonymous love letter. It wasn't until twenty minutes later that I realized that the email address I used contained my full name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5072) - you deserved it (26686)
On 03/27/2012 at 5:29pm - love - by LoveBytes - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body orgasms and I decided to test a few on my girlfriend. Instead of having a mind-blowing orgasm, she started cackling and said I looked like a giraffe trying to bob for apples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15237) - you deserved it (3670)
On 03/26/2012 at 4:56pm - intimacy - by JC (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me by maniacally zooming in and out of traffic while we were on his motorcycle. His mood turned to anger when I nervously admitted to having voided my bowels. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15305) - you deserved it (2065)
On 03/26/2012 at 12:15pm - misc - by Shantwozzlah (woman) - United States (Florida)
Friday 24 May 2013
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