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noncomposmentis

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noncomposmentis

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12799
  • Number of comments : 86
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Visits<b>little_aliceee</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 9:54pm<b>mimibear10</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 12:30am<b>elkelk</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 9:58pm<b>PeartOfNeils</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 3:13pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:08am<b>JoshuaOdom</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 2:59am<b>BossMindedFemale</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 5:32pm<b>annamaria55555</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 10:10pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 8:19pm<b>rjt93</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 12:58pm<b>DrMessed</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 4:18pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 9:23pm<b>glowbaby</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 9:39pm<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 9:58am<b>Snackycake</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 10:32pm<b>cmat84</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 10:31am<b>gghhffh</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 10:49pm<b>marmar9407</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 11:32am

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noncomposmentis's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML

#19920201
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20635) - you deserved it (5679)

On 07/10/2012 at 7:10pm - animals - by Nomoreballs (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was listening to some Michael Jackson through my earphones when I saw this really cute girl. Trying to impress, I aproached her while doing some dance moves, not thinking about how unbelievably stupid it must have looked without the music. FML

#19913631
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7681) - you deserved it (32476)

On 07/09/2012 at 6:37am - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, my wife is giving birth to our first born. I am an officer stationed overseas. Apparently, I am not only missing the birth, but I also missed the conception. FML

#19911168
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56658) - you deserved it (2551)

On 07/08/2012 at 8:30pm - love - by moodyreallyrocks - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML

#19910380
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18635) - you deserved it (6728)

On 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend of seven months and I were looking at some pictures on his iPad. I saw a picture of a kid of about two years old that looked a little like him. I jokingly said, "What, is that your son?" Imagine my surprise when he said that it was. FML

Today, I was talking with my wife of five years, and I gave her a few hints about wanting kids. After our talk, she looked at me completely serious and said "Yeah, yeah, kids are great and all, but can't we just get you a dog?" FML

#19841919
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21425) - you deserved it (5309)

On 06/24/2012 at 11:03pm - love - by Richard (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML

#19841077
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28169) - you deserved it (3070)

On 06/24/2012 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Addison - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as a romantic gesture, my boyfriend gifted me an origami vagina. FML

#19833560
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24213) - you deserved it (4106)

On 06/23/2012 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I told my girlfriend I love her for the first time. She said, "Thanks." FML

#19833451
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25637) - you deserved it (3478)

On 06/23/2012 at 10:23am - love - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my husband put some photos of our wedding on Facebook. He named the album "FML". FML

#19832174
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29181) - you deserved it (3066)

On 06/23/2012 at 1:17am - misc - by blah56 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

#19810073
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44193) - you deserved it (4060)

On 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to motivate myself to workout by looking at a picture of a guy with a six-pack on my computer screen while doing abs. My dad walked in after I finished and was still breathing heavily from working out. FML

#19795313
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24088) - you deserved it (6652)

On 06/16/2012 at 1:45am - misc - by NotGay (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

#19791702
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12788) - you deserved it (26599)

On 06/15/2012 at 10:21am - kids - by habbsrule - Canada

Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML

#19787973
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6479) - you deserved it (38285)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:59pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Croydon)

Today, I went to see my dermatologist friend for a free consultation on my terrible acne. During my visit, she said I probably won't be getting any more pimples. Excited, I asked her how she could tell. She replied, "There's no more room for it." FML

#19787608
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27188) - you deserved it (2268)

On 06/14/2012 at 3:34pm - health - by ultraattitude - United States



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