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Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15187) - you deserved it (4182)
On 07/10/2012 at 7:10pm - animals - by Nomoreballs (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I was listening to some Michael Jackson through my earphones when I saw this really cute girl. Trying to impress, I aproached her while doing some dance moves, not thinking about how unbelievably stupid it must have looked without the music. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5369) - you deserved it (21324)
On 07/09/2012 at 6:37am - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, my wife is giving birth to our first born. I am an officer stationed overseas. Apparently, I am not only missing the birth, but I also missed the conception. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46836) - you deserved it (224)
On 07/08/2012 at 8:30pm - love - by moodyreallyrocks - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14578) - you deserved it (6012)
On 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my boyfriend of seven months and I were looking at some pictures on his iPad. I saw a picture of a kid of about two years old that looked a little like him. I jokingly said, "What, is that your son?" Imagine my surprise when he said that it was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20703) - you deserved it (2359)
On 07/08/2012 at 8:42am - love - by confusedbutloved (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was talking with my wife of five years, and I gave her a few hints about wanting kids. After our talk, she looked at me completely serious and said "Yeah, yeah, kids are great and all, but can't we just get you a dog?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (16126) - you deserved it (3860)
On 06/24/2012 at 11:03pm - love - by Richard (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20453) - you deserved it (2073)
On 06/24/2012 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Addison - Canada (Ontario)
Today, as a romantic gesture, my boyfriend gifted me an origami vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18402) - you deserved it (3501)
On 06/23/2012 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)
Today, I told my girlfriend I love her for the first time. She said, "Thanks." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19962) - you deserved it (2477)
Today, my husband put some photos of our wedding on Facebook. He named the album "FML". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24061) - you deserved it (2278)
On 06/23/2012 at 1:17am - misc - by blah56 - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34059) - you deserved it (2728)
On 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I decided to motivate myself to workout by looking at a picture of a guy with a six-pack on my computer screen while doing abs. My dad walked in after I finished and was still breathing heavily from working out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18086) - you deserved it (4812)
On 06/16/2012 at 1:45am - misc - by NotGay (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9179) - you deserved it (17152)
Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4650) - you deserved it (26652)
On 06/14/2012 at 4:59pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Croydon)
Today, I went to see my dermatologist friend for a free consultation on my terrible acne. During my visit, she said I probably won't be getting any more pimples. Excited, I asked her how she could tell. She replied, "There's no more room for it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21682) - you deserved it (1591)
On 06/14/2012 at 3:34pm - health - by ultraattitude - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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