noelasis94

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noelasis94

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2562
  • Number of comments : 343
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About noelasis94 : I work eat sleep And spend time with my family and have the strange thing happen once in a while. All attention is welcome even thumbs down. Lastly everyone buy noel gallaghers solo record, it'll make you shake rattle and roll, or just roll.

noelasis94's page activity

Visits<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 7:30pm<b>muhshizzld</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 8:54pm<b>kiki1705</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 5:47am<b>SweetSociopathy</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 11:55pm<b>SeedtheMasta</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 12:12am<b>khloelpcn</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 6:18pm<b>mikuxxhatsune</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 7:42am<b>munuxi</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 11:12am<b>maydayyparade</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 2:49pm<b>ringaringaring</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 2:12pm<b>youngsparrow</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 2:57am<b>CandienInEurope</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 12:16am<b>phobiacreator</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 10:03pm<b>reburkah</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 7:04pm<b>ktpnothappening</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 11:46am<b>btob143</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 9:37pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 9:45am<b>beatlesgirl2u2</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 11:32am

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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noelasis94's favorite FMLs

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML

by woof woof?? / 06/15/2013 at 4:26pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML

by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

by Anonymous / 06/05/2013 at 6:09pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous

Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML

by fuckshitcockwaffle / 05/31/2013 at 10:59am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

Today, in the middle of our one year anniversary dinner, my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend showed up declaring her love for him. They left together and I had to take the bus home. FML

by anonymoose / 05/29/2013 at 8:39pm / Australia (South Australia) / Love

Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

by future brain bleach addict / 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2013 at 11:55am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is". Orgasm gone. FML

by iwassoclose / 04/10/2013 at 12:32pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I spent the whole night and day painting a portrait of my girlfriend. Being proud of it, I sent it to her hoping she would appreciate it. I spent hours working on that picture only for her to reply with, "That's not me, is it?" FML

by artist / 03/29/2013 at 7:12am / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Love

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 2:26pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 4:00am / United States (California) / Holidays

Today, my grandson visited me, and asked if I had any pictures of myself from when I was a little girl. I happily looked for a few photos to give him, asking what had piqued his curiosity. He replied that he wanted some for a presentation he's doing on the Middle Ages. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2013 at 9:19pm / France (Lorraine) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally got to meet my boyfriend's parents; it turns out that his mum is my therapist. I've just spent an entire morning telling her how confused I am about my sexuality. FML

by me / 03/21/2013 at 6:25am / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Miscellaneous