About nodbor : is it my sense of humor?
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Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11200) - you deserved it (35983)
On 08/21/2009 at 1:18am - kids - by Mak10 (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (93067) - you deserved it (6035)
On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States
Today, I was at a clothing store. I tried on a dress, but decided it was too much for me. Taking it off, I realize my hair was tangled in the big security button. The employees had to bring me to the front of the store, lay me on the counter, and take the button out in front of a laughing crowd. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32808) - you deserved it (2844)
On 08/12/2009 at 8:10pm - misc - by ForeverEmbarrassed (woman) - United States (California)
Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year old boy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45763) - you deserved it (6354)
On 08/12/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by auslander (man) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year old boy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45763) - you deserved it (6354)
On 08/12/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by auslander (man) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, I drunkenly made out with my 65 year-old married female boss. I'm a 21 year-old male intern. I have a feeling work will be awkward tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8715) - you deserved it (49525)
On 08/08/2009 at 6:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was working as a host at a pasta dinner. The hostess I was working with was very attractive and we were flirting quite a bit. A large woman walked in to be seated, and I leaned over to her and dared her to ask the woman if she wanted two chairs. She leaned back and said "that's my mom". FML
I agree, your life sucks (8021) - you deserved it (50228)
On 08/02/2009 at 3:35am - work - by bigmouth (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38650) - you deserved it (15900)
On 07/04/2009 at 4:30pm - intimacy - by twintowers (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend and I were making out, and about to have sex, when she asked me to "do that thing we did yesterday". We haven't had sex in 6 days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42069) - you deserved it (3017)
On 07/01/2009 at 1:18am - intimacy - by conductingfromthegrave (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I'd "killed her nose". FML
I agree, your life sucks (49137) - you deserved it (6973)
On 06/30/2009 at 7:53am - health - by poopshooter101 (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, while driving home I had to pee really bad. I decided to speed to get home quicker. I got pulled over for speeding and peed my pants. The cop, assuming I was drunk, made me take a sobriety test. I had to walk a straight line with piss all over my pants at 2:00 in the afternoon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49043) - you deserved it (8226)
On 05/06/2009 at 3:11pm - misc - by jojo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I saw my neighbor's son mowing their lawn when suddenly he started to do this crazy dance. Chuckling at his antics I waved and walked back into my house. His mom called me from a hospital later to ask if I could put the mower away; he had been attacked by bees. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15521) - you deserved it (38518)
On 05/04/2009 at 8:46pm - kids - by Jon (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, I called the campus police "anonymously" while my roommate was away and told them about her weed stash because I was tired of her smoking in our room all the time. She had brought her weed to a friend's and got off scot-free. I have a hearing Monday for the adderall they found in my desk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18592) - you deserved it (89948)
On 04/16/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by hatetheroommate (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (178661) - you deserved it (61558)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was writing to my girlfriend on msn when her roommate answered «Sorry, this is not Marie, she is at her boyfriend’s». Really? I've looked everywhere in my flat, I can’t find her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58238) - you deserved it (2453)
On 10/25/2008 at 12:56pm - love - by Icy -
Friday 24 May 2013
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