About nodbor : is it my sense of humor?
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nodbor's favorite FMLs
Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML
by homewrecker / 11/08/2009 at 10:39am / United States / Love
by John / 11/07/2009 at 4:45pm / United States / Love
by chairlee / 11/07/2009 at 3:12am / United States (Ohio) / Health
Today, I got a new job. I'm 26 and I left an amazing job to move back to be around my family. I have no choice but to take this job. I will be placing my finger in a dead turkeys ass, cutting open its stomach, and ripping out its guts. 15 per minute. FML
by Anonymous / 11/07/2009 at 3:04am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went on a date, and within the first five minutes, he said, "Before we go any further and get anymore serious, you need to know a few things, I have kissed a guy drunk because it was a dare, and have a $400 silk rose Victoria's Secret blanket." FML
by Shawty / 11/02/2009 at 10:41pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went upstairs to scold my boys for running in the house because someone could get hurt. As I turned around to come back downstairs I tripped and fell all the way down to the landing at the bottom. I could hear them laughing in their rooms. FML
by Anonymous / 10/08/2009 at 12:30am / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by poorcar / 10/05/2009 at 3:38am / United States (Minnesota) / Money
Today, I was putting my horse away into her pasture, when I slipped in the mud. In a haisty attempt to support myself, I grabbed the electric fence in on hand, and my horse with the other. The shock from the fence traveled through me to her, sending her running and leaving me with 2 broken teeth. FML
by Anonymous / 09/11/2009 at 10:48am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, I had dinner with my girlfriend of five months along with my mom and dad. Everything was going fine until my mom asked aloud "Everything going smooth for you in the bedroom?" to which my girlfriend replied "No." I was painting the master bedroom at my parent's house for some extra cash. FML
by moresexperience / 09/11/2009 at 8:26am / United States (California) / Love
by joeshmoe / 09/05/2009 at 3:07am / United States (Mississippi) / Transportation
Today, I got home from work, and saw a note on the counter my roomate left saying "Sorry about the basement." I then went into the basement, and found that it was flooded. My TV, Xbox360, mini-fridge, and couch were all destroyed. Good thing he tried to stop the leak with scotch tape. FML
by buzzzzkill / 08/27/2009 at 7:51am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, the bank called saying we were late in the mortgage payments. I was puzzled because three months ago I issued a big cheque to my mum pay off the mortgage. I just discovered that she instead lost it all at the casino. Turns out, she's become a compulsive gambler ever since dad passed away. FML
by smoothcoffee / 08/27/2009 at 1:53am / Australia (Victoria) / Money
Today, I was at a club with my girlfriend of a year. A guy starts hitting on her while I'm sitting right next to her. He then asks her to go back to his place for some fun, I start laughing thinking that there is no chance she would even consider this. I walked home alone. FML
by lonelyboy101 / 08/26/2009 at 8:37pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I decided to cook dinner for my wife and kid. After a long day of preperation and cooking I asked them what they thought of it. My 12 year old son then says, "I would say it tastes like shit but not even shit tastes this bad!" My wife then laughed and gave him a high-five. FML
by NoCookForYou / 08/22/2009 at 2:29am / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." FML
by Mak10 / 08/21/2009 at 1:18am / United States (Arizona) / Kids