About nodbor : is it my sense of humor?
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nodbor's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML
by drunk / 03/06/2010 at 2:38am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals
Today, I was walking past a group of old men exiting a building. All of a sudden, I heard a strange splashing sound, and discovered one of the completely inebriated men walking behind me, pissing on my boots. I sped up, but so did he, and he didn't miss once until he was done. FML
by cman / 02/26/2010 at 6:17am / Romania (Iasi) / Miscellaneous
by ughno / 02/21/2010 at 2:50pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I was putting groceries into my car, and I put the eggs on the driver's seat while I arranged my other bags. I was frustrated because the dome light was acting up, which drives me crazy. Once I got everything in, I crankily plopped into the car. I had never moved the eggs off my seat. FML
by EggyBum / 01/25/2010 at 8:41pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Transportation
by rainydays79 / 01/23/2010 at 2:12pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Radioo / 01/18/2010 at 4:00am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
by GeorgiaBOYY / 01/04/2010 at 12:40pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation
Today, my mother forwarded me an email my stepdad had sent her because he was annoyed that I left a light on last night. Talk about communication problems. I wonder how I'm going to tell them I'm pregnant. FML
by Anonymous / 01/03/2010 at 5:36am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Health
Today, I showed up on set for a film that I booked a role in weeks ago. At the time of the audition, the script was being rewritten, so today I was so excited and eager to be told what my role would entail. When they handed me the script, my character was described as a fat, ugly, awkward girl. FML
by okaythen6 / 12/09/2009 at 6:13am / United States (New Jersey) / Work
Today, I found out that me and my best friend are both pregnant. We live together, and both had one night stands with the same guy. Now we are going to be each raising his children in the same house while he has decided to "not get involved" and move to a different state. FML
by anonymous / 12/03/2009 at 1:55am / United States (Georgia) / Kids
Today, my mom came home and told me she was going back to college. She's going to the community college that a lot of the graduates from my school go to. She has biology with my ex. They're lab partners and have to do take home labs together. FML
by Anonymous / 11/27/2009 at 11:13pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by pigglepigglepiggle / 11/23/2009 at 9:30pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, I woke up after a night out at the bar, immediately remembering that I had lost my cell phone, my ID and somehow spent $100. Feeling like shit already, my friend then goes on to tell me that I flashed the entire bar, and ran around the hotel naked. FML
by drunkennight / 11/22/2009 at 10:45pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML
by jibberish / 11/21/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was shopping with my baby daughter when an older woman came up to me. She glared and said, "You know, if you kids learned how to keep your legs closed, you wouldn't be a mother at 16." I'm 25. FML
by notateen / 11/13/2009 at 3:26pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…