nmgp12

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nmgp12

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 December 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 467
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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nmgp12's page activity

Visits<b>Latino_Nino</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 1:41pm<b>Windows_98</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 8:19pm<b>Djoyce98</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 9:19am

nmgp12's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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nmgp12's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to school without any makeup on. The guys who usually compliment me for being pretty are now calling me "The Greatest Illusion Ever". FML

by The greatest Illusion ever / 10/28/2013 at 4:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a really important job interview. During it, I accidentally let out a burp, came down with nervous hiccups, and when I tried to quietly ease out some painful gas that was building up, it came out as a massive, rancid fart. I'll definitely be unemployed for a while yet. FML

by ;_;" / 09/27/2013 at 5:33pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Work

Today, I woke up from a night of heavy drinking to find my girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called her last night and told her that someone as beautiful as her could be with someone way better than me. She agreed. FML

by drinkdrankdrunk / 09/27/2013 at 3:33am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2013 at 5:33pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, my ex-wife put my number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I "ate a black anaconda". FML

by Craigslist is Evil. / 09/24/2013 at 2:12pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, my brother decided it would be funny for almost every sentence out of his mouth to start with the word "hashtag". FML

by soannoyed / 09/22/2013 at 5:21pm / United States / Kids

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via Snapchat. FML

by mish / 09/22/2013 at 4:41pm / United Kingdom (Herefordshire) / Love

Today, I walked in on my daughter shaving the testicles of her boyfriend, who had apparently snuck in through her window. FML

by disappointed / 09/20/2013 at 12:30pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I forgot my blind date's name 3 times during our conversation. FML

by lola1313 / 09/17/2013 at 10:17pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I came out of the closet. Now whenever I'm getting ready to go somewhere with my dad he says, "Lesgo, lesbo." FML

by spiritbeast33 / 09/11/2013 at 2:17am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML

by Grand Slam / 09/10/2013 at 2:44pm / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my 4-year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed that "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex". FML

by Anonymous / 09/10/2013 at 2:30pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, my mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck. My sister added that it was God's first attempt to kill me off. FML

Today, I took my laptop to I.T. to fix my internet. Only after I left did I realise my memory technique for remembering the stages of mitosis (Iraqi penis man anally transmits chlamydia) was left as a sticky note on my desktop. The guy definitely noticed. FML

by interphaseprophasemetaphase / 09/04/2013 at 7:18am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous