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0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 28495
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About nlite : http://www.youtube.com/emeZxX

nlite's page activity

Visits<b>Jiratias</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 2:26pm<b>Sansa_Kroma</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 1:59am<b>cel_is_me</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 4:27am<b>ughed</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 6:34pm<b>agentsydney</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 8:23pm<b>Plastinate</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 7:57pm<b>MilKxOreos</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 11:07pm<b>rememberthefood</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 9:49am<b>finch01</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 10:09pm<b>Terzy</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 12:23am<b>imthatperson1993</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 2:02pm<b>jelizabeth11</b> - the 01/02/2013 at 3:24am<b>Evans1215</b> - the 12/27/2012 at 12:16pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:49am<b>LSeb</b> - the 06/01/2009 at 5:01pm<b>bhamilton93</b> - the 05/11/2009 at 8:57pm<b>grazynaanka</b> - the 05/11/2009 at 5:08am<b>cwhitley21</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 8:09pm

nlite's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

nlite's favorite FMLs

Today, I received a text message from my favorite sister saying "Great news! The technology in condoms has improved so much that they ensure that accidents like you won't ever happen again!" Today's my birthday. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2009 at 3:19pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

by Hairball / 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm / United States (South Carolina) / Work

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend getting it on with the neighbour's daughter. As soon as he saw me, he started singing 'It Wasn't Me' by Shaggy, completely naked, still sitting with the girl. FML

by shaggy / 08/30/2009 at 5:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

by Michelle / 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I was playing Ultimate Frisbee and trying to make new friends since I'm new at my college. I was running after an overthrown frisbee for a touchdown. Everyone cheered me on to keep going. I ran full speed into a fence. FML

by AvengdSevenfold / 08/24/2009 at 10:22am / United States (Tennessee) / Health

Today, I re-dislocated my arm trying to get it out of the cast it was in because I didn't want to pay the $50 dollar fee to get it taken off. FML

by flaps / 08/19/2009 at 5:02pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, while we changed positions, he shouts, "Power Rangers - It's Morphin' Time!" FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

by gbhlaughingstock / 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I lost a bet with my girlfriend. I now have to wear a shirt saying "Worlds Smallest Penis" everywhere I go for a month. FML

by badtimingdude / 08/18/2009 at 12:34pm / Mauritius / Love

Today, while I was watching Miley Cyrus' new music video, I had an itch near my bikini line that I couldn't reach through my jeans. So I unzipped my pants to get to it, and that's when my boyfriend walked in on me with my hands down my pants. He thought I was getting off on the music video. FML

by notguilty / 08/15/2009 at 7:24pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my grandma went to get birthday gifts for my twin sister and me. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute? 'cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML

by twingirl / 08/14/2009 at 5:57pm / United States (Delaware) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on the bus, when an elderly woman stepped in. She looked too weak to stand. She looked at me with her sad puppy eyes, expecting me to give up my seat for her. I felt sorry and got up. As soon as she sat down, she says, "Ha! Sucker!" She didn't look so cute anymore. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2009 at 12:35am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation

Today, I was pretending to use the force to operate the elevator at my hotel, getting really into it. Someone was waiting to get on at my floor and saw me. Not to mention the staff now brings it up every time I'm around. Apparently they have cameras in their elevators. FML

by beckzx58 / 08/06/2009 at 7:16pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2009 at 7:11am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was wearing my favorite tube top to the mall when a girl walked up and said, "I have that exact same skirt, why are you wearing it as a top?" I've been wearing it for two years, and no one's bothered to tell me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2009 at 7:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous