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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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nlite
  • Town/Country : Sydney, Australia
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 26048
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About nlite : http://www.youtube.com/emeZxX

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nlite's favorite FMLs

Today, I received a text message from my favorite sister saying "Great news! The technology in condoms has improved so much that they ensure that accidents like you won't ever happen again!" Today's my birthday. FML

#4978107 (245)

I agree, your life sucks (34840) - you deserved it (6247)

On 09/01/2009 at 3:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

#4976961 (401)

I agree, your life sucks (8001) - you deserved it (207617)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend getting it on with the neighbour's daughter. As soon as he saw me, he started singing 'It Wasn't Me' by Shaggy, completely naked, still sitting with the girl. FML

#4933603 (266)

I agree, your life sucks (44795) - you deserved it (3099)

On 08/30/2009 at 5:26pm - love - by shaggy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (52114) - you deserved it (11878)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was playing Ultimate Frisbee and trying to make new friends since I'm new at my college. I was running after an overthrown frisbee for a touchdown. Everyone cheered me on to keep going. I ran full speed into a fence. FML

#4781635 (88)

I agree, your life sucks (22389) - you deserved it (6324)

On 08/24/2009 at 10:22am - health - by AvengdSevenfold (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I re-dislocated my arm trying to get it out of the cast it was in because I didn't want to pay the $50 dollar fee to get it taken off. FML

#4660097 (194)

I agree, your life sucks (5995) - you deserved it (62869)

On 08/19/2009 at 5:02pm - health - by flaps (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML

#4636801 (286)

I agree, your life sucks (48198) - you deserved it (8639)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!!" FML

#4630669 (221)

I agree, your life sucks (74614) - you deserved it (4457)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, I lost a bet with my girlfriend. I now have to wear a shirt saying "Worlds Smallest Penis" everywhere I go for a month. FML

#4627317 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (14360) - you deserved it (46834)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:34pm - love - by badtimingdude (man) - Mauritius

Today, while I was watching Miley Cyrus' new music video, I had an itch near my bikini line that I couldn't reach through my jeans. So I unzipped my pants to get to it, and that's when my boyfriend walked in on me with my hands down my pants. He thought I was getting off on the music video. FML

#4555175 (235)

I agree, your life sucks (36581) - you deserved it (15857)

On 08/15/2009 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by notguilty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my grandma went to get my twin sister and I a birthday gift. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute, cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML

#4530948 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (37301) - you deserved it (2553)

On 08/14/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by twingirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was on the bus, when an elderly woman stepped in. She looked too weak to stand. She looked at me with her sad puppy eyes, expecting me to give up my seat for her. I felt sorry and got up. As soon as she sat down, she says, "Ha! Sucker!" She didn't look so cute anymore. FML

#4516147 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (35675) - you deserved it (5062)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was pretending to use the force to operate the elevator at my hotel, getting really into it. Someone was waiting to get on at my floor and saw me. Not to mention the staff now brings it up every time I'm around. Apparently they have cameras in their elevators. FML

#4342634 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (5642) - you deserved it (27602)

On 08/06/2009 at 7:16pm - misc - by beckzx58 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML

#4330249 (358)

I agree, your life sucks (69501) - you deserved it (14724)

On 08/06/2009 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was wearing my favorite tube top to the mall when a girl walked up and said, "I have that exact same skirt, why are you wearing it as a top?" I've been wearing it for two years, and no one's bothered to tell me. FML

#4290695 (194)

I agree, your life sucks (10752) - you deserved it (34429)

On 08/04/2009 at 7:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)