About nissanman : In my mind, the speed limit is purely optional.
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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Today, I got hit by a car while riding my bike. Instead of coming to my aid, the driver just laid on his horn and screamed out the window for me to move my ass, because he had places to be. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43506) - you deserved it (4283)
On 04/21/2013 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, thinking I was alone at work, I did an impression of Goldar from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I turned around to find out I wasn't alone; a cute girl was staring at me, unimpressed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22672) - you deserved it (14617)
On 04/09/2013 at 10:44pm - work - by Goldar - United States
Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He slowly turned to face me, raised an eyebrow, and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17060) - you deserved it (46028)
On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)
Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22132) - you deserved it (2538)
On 08/08/2012 at 7:03pm - love - by Dumbfounded - United States (Texas)
Today, as I was getting ready to go to the midnight premiere of the new Spiderman movie, I was actually bitten by a spider. He gets super powers and a hot girl, I swell up like a balloon and get to spend the night in the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20681) - you deserved it (1408)
On 07/03/2012 at 4:03am - misc - by spiderfail - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13148) - you deserved it (1391)
On 06/30/2012 at 9:00pm - misc - by pissed off -
Today, while waiting for a bus, someone started smoking at the bus shelter, which is illegal in my city. I politely asked him to stop smoking, citing the city ordinance. He just cackled and said that if I'm so concerned about the state of my health, I should start by losing 90 pounds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14471) - you deserved it (29498)
On 06/07/2012 at 1:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, while I was on stage dancing for a competition dress rehearsal, my top fell off, exposing my breasts. I was really embarrassed, but fortunately no one said anything about it. That is until a kid in the audience came up to me and said, "That was a disappointment." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18023) - you deserved it (2131)
On 06/05/2012 at 3:27am - misc - by KenzFell (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was cutting the grass, it was really hot and I fainted. I woke up to see my mom standing over me. I thought she was going to freak out and call an ambulance. Instead she said, "Good, you're up. Now you can finish." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17869) - you deserved it (1376)
On 05/30/2012 at 7:07pm - misc - by Aw522 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23493) - you deserved it (6340)
On 05/30/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had a babysitting job. When I got there, the parents were rushing out the door and told me they'd left instructions for the kids on the table. The first bullet point stated that the oldest was convinced she is possessed by the devil, but just to ignore it. Three more hours to go. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19178) - you deserved it (1039)
On 05/29/2012 at 9:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)
Today, after my old downstairs neighbor, who would come upstairs to bang on my door and yell at me every time she heard a sound from me at all times of the day, had finally moved out, it became clear that my new downstairs neighbor gets drunk and yells at the TV in the early hours of the morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11127) - you deserved it (1107)
On 05/24/2012 at 8:59am - misc - by howsthisforaname (woman) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of)
Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15930) - you deserved it (3165)
On 05/23/2012 at 4:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15566) - you deserved it (4095)
On 05/18/2012 at 10:13am - kids - by 23yearoldtoddler - United States
Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5633) - you deserved it (44505)
On 05/18/2012 at 3:41am - health - by TLJ321 -
Monday 17 June 2013
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