nissanman

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nissanman

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 4 June 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3542
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About nissanman : In my mind, the speed limit is purely optional.

nissanman's page activity

Visits<b>bradleybaldwin</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 7:00pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 12:09am<b>M3DO</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 7:37pm<b>NickyB85</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 6:35am<b>eski2015</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 11:34pm<b>GAeroNKissR</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 2:55am<b>Sagittariusnow</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 10:29pm<b>Fidge</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 2:08pm<b>lone_ninja</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 7:55am<b>ItachisCrow</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 9:05am<b>Feremist</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 12:39am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 11:20am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 12:58pm<b>slender_gab</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 2:45pm<b>wopchop12</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 8:57am<b>bethylh95</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 6:17pm<b>bnlsn</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 5:30pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 6:10pm

Fucked!<b>eski2015</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 5:34am

nissanman's FML badges

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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nissanman's favorite FMLs

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

by John / 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got hit by a car while riding my bike. Instead of coming to my aid, the driver just laid on his horn and screamed out the window for me to move my ass, because he had places to be. FML

by Anonymous / 04/21/2013 at 12:11am / United States / Transportation

Today, thinking I was alone at work, I did an impression of Goldar from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I turned around to find out I wasn't alone; a cute girl was staring at me, unimpressed. FML

by Goldar / 04/09/2013 at 10:44pm / United States / Work

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

by fuck you dad / 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm / Ireland (Monaghan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML

by Dumbfounded / 08/08/2012 at 7:03pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, as I was getting ready to go to the midnight premiere of the new Spiderman movie, I was actually bitten by a spider. He gets super powers and a hot girl, I swell up like a balloon and get to spend the night in the hospital. FML

by spiderfail / 07/03/2012 at 4:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML

by pissed off / 06/30/2012 at 9:00pm / Animals

Today, while waiting for a bus, someone started smoking at the bus shelter, which is illegal in my city. I politely asked him to stop smoking, citing the city ordinance. He just cackled and said that if I'm so concerned about the state of my health, I should start by losing 90 pounds. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2012 at 1:42pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, while I was on stage dancing for a competition dress rehearsal, my top fell off, exposing my breasts. I was really embarrassed, but fortunately no one said anything about it. That is until a kid in the audience came up to me and said, "That was a disappointment." FML

by KenzFell / 06/05/2012 at 3:27am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I was cutting the grass, it was really hot and I fainted. I woke up to see my mom standing over me. I thought she was going to freak out and call an ambulance. Instead she said, "Good, you're up. Now you can finish." FML

by Aw522 / 05/30/2012 at 7:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2012 at 1:46am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had a babysitting job. When I got there, the parents were rushing out the door and told me they'd left instructions for the kids on the table. The first bullet point stated that the oldest was convinced she is possessed by the devil, but just to ignore it. Three more hours to go. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2012 at 9:55pm / United States (Iowa) / Kids

Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML

by Anonymous / 05/23/2012 at 4:38pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML

by 23yearoldtoddler / 05/18/2012 at 10:13am / United States / Kids

Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML

by TLJ321 / 05/18/2012 at 3:41am / Health