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nissanman

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nissanman

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 4 June 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2936
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About nissanman : In my mind, the speed limit is purely optional.

nissanman's page activity

Visits<b>GAeroNKissR</b> - 24 hours ago<b>Sagittariusnow</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 10:29pm<b>Fidge</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 2:08pm<b>lone_ninja</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 7:55am<b>ItachisCrow</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 9:05am<b>Feremist</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 12:39am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 11:20am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 12:58pm<b>slender_gab</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 2:45pm<b>wopchop12</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 8:57am<b>bethylh95</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 6:17pm<b>bnlsn</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 5:30pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 6:10pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 1:31pm<b>IM_JOSHUA</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 12:27am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 4:26pm<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 8:28am<b>RezDog</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 11:23pm

nissanman's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of nissanman's badges

nissanman's favorite FMLs

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

#20773275
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27512) - you deserved it (46112)

On 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm - misc - by John - United States

Today, I got hit by a car while riding my bike. Instead of coming to my aid, the driver just laid on his horn and screamed out the window for me to move my ass, because he had places to be. FML

#20609136
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50169) - you deserved it (5075)

On 04/21/2013 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, thinking I was alone at work, I did an impression of Goldar from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I turned around to find out I wasn't alone; a cute girl was staring at me, unimpressed. FML

#20582957
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28663) - you deserved it (19309)

On 04/09/2013 at 10:44pm - work - by Goldar - United States

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

#20566988
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21432) - you deserved it (52398)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML

#20010086
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30633) - you deserved it (3600)

On 08/08/2012 at 7:03pm - love - by Dumbfounded - United States (Texas)

Today, as I was getting ready to go to the midnight premiere of the new Spiderman movie, I was actually bitten by a spider. He gets super powers and a hot girl, I swell up like a balloon and get to spend the night in the hospital. FML

#19884595
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26555) - you deserved it (2104)

On 07/03/2012 at 4:03am - misc - by spiderfail - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML

#19873141
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18535) - you deserved it (2131)

On 06/30/2012 at 9:00pm - misc - by pissed off -

Today, while waiting for a bus, someone started smoking at the bus shelter, which is illegal in my city. I politely asked him to stop smoking, citing the city ordinance. He just cackled and said that if I'm so concerned about the state of my health, I should start by losing 90 pounds. FML

#19749863
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17981) - you deserved it (34487)

On 06/07/2012 at 1:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while I was on stage dancing for a competition dress rehearsal, my top fell off, exposing my breasts. I was really embarrassed, but fortunately no one said anything about it. That is until a kid in the audience came up to me and said, "That was a disappointment." FML

#19737125
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24248) - you deserved it (2684)

On 06/05/2012 at 3:27am - misc - by KenzFell (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was cutting the grass, it was really hot and I fainted. I woke up to see my mom standing over me. I thought she was going to freak out and call an ambulance. Instead she said, "Good, you're up. Now you can finish." FML

#19705989
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25640) - you deserved it (2270)

On 05/30/2012 at 7:07pm - misc - by Aw522 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML

#19702897
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32908) - you deserved it (7726)

On 05/30/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a babysitting job. When I got there, the parents were rushing out the door and told me they'd left instructions for the kids on the table. The first bullet point stated that the oldest was convinced she is possessed by the devil, but just to ignore it. Three more hours to go. FML

#19701580
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26001) - you deserved it (1655)

On 05/29/2012 at 9:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML

#19668387
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22941) - you deserved it (4707)

On 05/23/2012 at 4:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML

#19641324
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23189) - you deserved it (6082)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:13am - kids - by 23yearoldtoddler - United States

Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML

#19640630
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7207) - you deserved it (52031)

On 05/18/2012 at 3:41am - health - by TLJ321 -



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